Well, at least I usually don't. I don't think I'm very poetic or very good at them. I like free verse. I hate structure and being told what to do. But sometimes I come up with a cheesy rhyme when I'm not really trying. Today I did manage to think of one, though.
(no title)
Would you let me sing
in order to bring
an end to everything, dear?
All of the pain
that constantly strains
upon your heart, dear?
Yet, 'tween all the rain
waits something to gain;
can you see--it's me, dear?
>_> Well, it's um... not too specific I guess. *shrug* I mean I think anyone could relate to it somewhat and it's sorta original, I think. I don't know, too many things are already done and copyrighted and blah blah blah. So, meh... I don't even understand why I sound so... gloomy? Whiny? Bah... Poems are dumb. And I can't even get myself to write stories much because they often end up angst-ridden, crazy sex pieces. Or something. I guess I should expect this from never being laid, ehhh. *shrug*
SH2
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
In which I respond to someone's tumblr thingamabob~
Have you ever...?
- 1. Taken a picture naked
- 2. Painted your room?
- 3. Kissed a member of the same sex?
- 4. Drove a car?
- 5. Danced in front of your mirror?
- 6. Had a crush?
- 7. Been dumped?
- 8. Stole money from a friend?
- 9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
- 10. Been in a fist fight?
- 11. Sneaked out of your house?
- 12. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
- 13. Been arrested?
- 14. Made out with a stranger?
- 15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
- 16. Left your house without telling your parents?
- 17. Had a crush on your neighbor?
- 18. Ditched school to do something more fun?
- 19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
- 20. Seen someone die?
- 21. Been on a plane?
- 22. Kissed a picture?
- 23. Slept in until 3 PM?
- 24. Love someone or miss someone right now?
- 25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
- 26. Made a snow angel?
- 27. Played dress up?
- 28. Cheated while playing a game?
- 29. Been lonely?
- 30. Fallen asleep at work/school?
- 31. Been to a club?
- 32. Felt an earthquake?
- 33. Touched a snake?
- 34. Ran a red light?
- 35. Been suspended from school?
- 36. Had detention?
- 37. Been in a car accident?
- 38. Hated the way you look?
- 39. Witnessed a crime?
- 40. Pole danced?
- 41. Been lost?
- 42. Been to the opposite side of the country?
- 43. Felt like dying?
- 44. Cried yourself to sleep?
- 45. Sang karaoke?
- 46. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
- 47. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- 48. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- 49. Kissed in the rain?
- 50. Sang in the shower?
- 51. Made out in a park?
- 52. Dream that you married someone?
- 53. Glued your hand to something?
- 54. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
- 55. Ever gone to school partially naked?
- 56. Been a cheerleader?
- 57. Sat on a roof top?
- 58. Brushed your teeth?
- 59. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
- 60. Played chicken?
- 61. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- 62. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
- 63. Broken a bone?
- 64. Been easily amused?
- 65. Laughed so hard you cried?
- 66. Mooned/flashed someone?
- 67. Cheated on a test?
- 68. Forgotten someone’s name?
- 69. Slept naked?
1. Yes, I do this at random and usually delete them right away (via my webcam).
2. Nope, I consider it work and I dislike most work to be honest...
3. Obviously... (that means yes).
4. Nope. Just go carts once, apparently rather badly.
5. Probably.
6. Define "crush".
7. Yep.
8. No.
9. Define "just met". (Technically, yes.)
10. I don't think so.
11. Actually I have sneaked back into my house, haha.
12. I believe so.
13. No.
14. No.
15. Yep. And I'm counting this as in order to date or hang, just so you know.
16. Technically. (Does it count if your parent isn't home usually anyway?)
17. Nope.
18. No. When I didn't go to school I stayed home.
19. Define "slept with". (Technically, yes.)
20. Never in person.
21. Yes.
22. Yep.
23. Yep.
24. Indeed.
25. Maybe, I don't remember precisely.
26. Yes.
27. Technically.
28. No.
29. Often.
30. Once, I think.
31. Nope.
32. Nope.
33. Yes.
34. Since I don't drive, no. (but have my drivers that I rode with? yes)
35. Yes.
36. A lot more than you'd think.
37. Yes.
38. Define "hated". (Probably.)
39. No.
40. No.
41. No. I've been with people who got themselves lost though.
42. Nope.
43. Not quite.
44. Yes.
45. Not exactly. I sing a capella frequently though.
46. I don't think so.
47. Yes.
48. No.
49. Define "in the rain." (I kissed outside while it was raining once and had moved under cover *shrug*).
50. Yes.
51. No.
52. Not quite.
53. No.
54. Nope.
55. No.
56. Define "been". (sort of)
57. No.
58. I would hope so... (what sort of question is this? Should ask if I've gone a week w/o brushing, which I have~.)
59. Yep.
60. No.
61. No. (and death to those that try... *ahem*)
62. Yes.
63. No.
64. Told I was by others. *shrugs*
65. Yes.
66. No.
67. Once.
68. Not usually. (perhaps)
69. Not very often.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said...
To talk of many things.
I should know what that's from, but I don't remember. Well, it's referenced in two of the Alice in Wonderland movies (though not that recent thing by... Tim Burton, was it?). Anyway, I guess I do feel like talking or whatever.
Here's a quick reference list for the most important people of my recent life. I don't have any ladies on the list so idk, that feels weird. Naturally I will abbreviate in all instances for privacy reason (idk, I don't like to drop names much in conversation, too much to remember).
B1
B1 is a guy I talk to almost every day. He lives some place in Florida, though he lived several years before in Massachusetts. I probably could just drop the shorthand of his 'net name easily but bah, effort. We get along fine, as much as two guys can in a platonic relationship. I don't really want to sleep with him anyway, lol, I don't like him that way, asides, he's quite straight. I'm about his only male friend on the internet, he mostly speaks to women.
CS
CS was... very special. Maybe a little suicidal but a really funny, sweet kid when I knew him. It's odd that I often think of him as the guy I'd most want to date again, of the people I've made emotional investments with. Well, he'd probably think it odd of me. I'd really like to hear from him again.
CN
CN is a new contact. This isn't really a "VIP" list, but more about the people that occupy my mind a lot and aren't family. I really like him (well, I like most of what I know about him) and I wanted to talk to him since late October. Because I think we have a good deal in common. We both like seafood and probably have several other overlapping interests besides our sexual interests (by which we'd be compatible and that's always a nice thing). I don't really know his family name and haven't asked him too many personal things yet. He's often busy; he works as a teacher's aide, which I think is really cool.
JB
JB kinda vanished lately. I have no idea what the hell he's doing and why doesn't he even call me? I'm kinda mad at his lack of communication consistency. Whatever, he can go die and likely will at the destructive way he lives his life. Smoking and other crap he just doesn't need, let alone should damn well know not to do. Of course I don't really hate him or anything, he just bugs me. He was the third guy I dated.
JD
JD was the first guy I ever fully felt in love with at some point. He's artistic and surprisingly sensitive for a delinquent and huge arse flirt. You can imagine it didn't work. But I like him, when I'm not thinking about beating him overhead with a book, lol.
RF
RF lives in Canada and he's a nice kid. We basically flirted a little with each other but then he dated JB for a while (I had also dated JB and he broke up with me really close to my birthday, the stupid biatch, lol). They're not together anymore and that's probably for the best, too. They're much longer distance than anything I've been involved with already.
RY
RY, haha, your initials make a common shorthand of my given name. Well, he's a newer friend. He's weird in some ways but I think he's pretty decent. When he's not doing stupid things, at least. None too long ago, he moved in with his bro and is actually in my home state. Which is nice I guess but he whines a lot about me living 4+ hours away, talks like it's 1000 miles. What a child. I don't know about him most of the time, I don't know whether to really like or dislike him *shrug*.
T1
T1 is another friend I frequently talk to. We briefly entertained the ideas of us dating. Though we got along well, he didn't feel like he fit me well enough. And stuff. So we're just friends now and we talk the second most often, compared to B1.
TW
TW lives in the UK and we talk at times. More openly than most, oddly enough. I think its strange that my straight friends are the ones that appear most willing and amicable to talk to me. Fags need to speak up or something, maybe I just go for quiet types? *shrug*
W1
W1, I've known him for a few years but we don't talk too much. We talked recently though and he's okay. He and RY have had quite a bit of sex in their lives thus far, more or less. They're opposites though and RY more than likely wouldn't go for W1, and thank god for that. I don't like the idea of my friends hooking up. I rather they date other people and be happy. I don't really want their problems to overlap and me ever being forced to pick sides, no thank you.
That'll do for now. o.0 Looking at it makes me feel weird, I talk to more people than I expect, but it's not really that many anyway. And I probably omitted a small handful of people that I just don't care enough to include. Or don't want to bring up because of some guilt. Yep.
Grandfather still picks at me just for eating. At least it's not so bad this morning. I don't like waiting for 5 hours or more between "meals" (I'm often still hungry when he tries to portion my food) and really, he'd just want me to eat like two pizza slices and then drink water for the rest of the day. AND he'd still bitch then about pizza being "no good". Impossible to please. Too much pressure to be successful and stuff, explains why I flounder so much when I try to do anything. I don't get the support I really want from... anyone. Well, not counting some of those guys above but even then, none of them have really spent time with me in person, at least not yet anyway. He'll only look baffled and actually gets on my case to eat if I actually try to skip meals. What a hypocrite. I wanted to smack him for telling me to eat a FRIED bologna sandwich yesterday. Really!? REALLY!? After you scream at me countless times for drinking sodas? Calling kettles black aren't you, you dumb pot? *sigh*
He wants me to call my mom, hell, my grandmother suggested I even ask her, "Mom, why you want nothing to do to me? What I ever do to you?" I should ask. But I won't. I don't really care enough to talk to her anymore. Let her talk to me if she finally decides I'm important enough to remember. She hasn't called in months, naturally. Not me anyway. She calls my grandmother sometimes. Oh sure, talk to the uber religious matron who'd sooner disown you for your personal relationships within the past dozen years, but not to your first-born (and only) son. Airhead.
I'm at least feeling calm at present. No tears, shakes or even wanting to shout beyond the few caps-locked instances above. Re-reading California Diaries helps, I think. I really relate to Maggie and Ducky, even Sunny in some ways. Not my most favorite book but probably my favorite series. It's up there with The Wildflowers, definitely. I don't really feel like saying too much else now though, it's always a bit too much than what I can get around to putting down in text. Thank you few people for reading, though. Be seein' yous.
I should know what that's from, but I don't remember. Well, it's referenced in two of the Alice in Wonderland movies (though not that recent thing by... Tim Burton, was it?). Anyway, I guess I do feel like talking or whatever.
Here's a quick reference list for the most important people of my recent life. I don't have any ladies on the list so idk, that feels weird. Naturally I will abbreviate in all instances for privacy reason (idk, I don't like to drop names much in conversation, too much to remember).
B1
B1 is a guy I talk to almost every day. He lives some place in Florida, though he lived several years before in Massachusetts. I probably could just drop the shorthand of his 'net name easily but bah, effort. We get along fine, as much as two guys can in a platonic relationship. I don't really want to sleep with him anyway, lol, I don't like him that way, asides, he's quite straight. I'm about his only male friend on the internet, he mostly speaks to women.
CS
CS was... very special. Maybe a little suicidal but a really funny, sweet kid when I knew him. It's odd that I often think of him as the guy I'd most want to date again, of the people I've made emotional investments with. Well, he'd probably think it odd of me. I'd really like to hear from him again.
CN
CN is a new contact. This isn't really a "VIP" list, but more about the people that occupy my mind a lot and aren't family. I really like him (well, I like most of what I know about him) and I wanted to talk to him since late October. Because I think we have a good deal in common. We both like seafood and probably have several other overlapping interests besides our sexual interests (by which we'd be compatible and that's always a nice thing). I don't really know his family name and haven't asked him too many personal things yet. He's often busy; he works as a teacher's aide, which I think is really cool.
JB
JB kinda vanished lately. I have no idea what the hell he's doing and why doesn't he even call me? I'm kinda mad at his lack of communication consistency. Whatever, he can go die and likely will at the destructive way he lives his life. Smoking and other crap he just doesn't need, let alone should damn well know not to do. Of course I don't really hate him or anything, he just bugs me. He was the third guy I dated.
JD
JD was the first guy I ever fully felt in love with at some point. He's artistic and surprisingly sensitive for a delinquent and huge arse flirt. You can imagine it didn't work. But I like him, when I'm not thinking about beating him overhead with a book, lol.
RF
RF lives in Canada and he's a nice kid. We basically flirted a little with each other but then he dated JB for a while (I had also dated JB and he broke up with me really close to my birthday, the stupid biatch, lol). They're not together anymore and that's probably for the best, too. They're much longer distance than anything I've been involved with already.
RY
RY, haha, your initials make a common shorthand of my given name. Well, he's a newer friend. He's weird in some ways but I think he's pretty decent. When he's not doing stupid things, at least. None too long ago, he moved in with his bro and is actually in my home state. Which is nice I guess but he whines a lot about me living 4+ hours away, talks like it's 1000 miles. What a child. I don't know about him most of the time, I don't know whether to really like or dislike him *shrug*.
T1
T1 is another friend I frequently talk to. We briefly entertained the ideas of us dating. Though we got along well, he didn't feel like he fit me well enough. And stuff. So we're just friends now and we talk the second most often, compared to B1.
TW
TW lives in the UK and we talk at times. More openly than most, oddly enough. I think its strange that my straight friends are the ones that appear most willing and amicable to talk to me. Fags need to speak up or something, maybe I just go for quiet types? *shrug*
W1
W1, I've known him for a few years but we don't talk too much. We talked recently though and he's okay. He and RY have had quite a bit of sex in their lives thus far, more or less. They're opposites though and RY more than likely wouldn't go for W1, and thank god for that. I don't like the idea of my friends hooking up. I rather they date other people and be happy. I don't really want their problems to overlap and me ever being forced to pick sides, no thank you.
That'll do for now. o.0 Looking at it makes me feel weird, I talk to more people than I expect, but it's not really that many anyway. And I probably omitted a small handful of people that I just don't care enough to include. Or don't want to bring up because of some guilt. Yep.
Grandfather still picks at me just for eating. At least it's not so bad this morning. I don't like waiting for 5 hours or more between "meals" (I'm often still hungry when he tries to portion my food) and really, he'd just want me to eat like two pizza slices and then drink water for the rest of the day. AND he'd still bitch then about pizza being "no good". Impossible to please. Too much pressure to be successful and stuff, explains why I flounder so much when I try to do anything. I don't get the support I really want from... anyone. Well, not counting some of those guys above but even then, none of them have really spent time with me in person, at least not yet anyway. He'll only look baffled and actually gets on my case to eat if I actually try to skip meals. What a hypocrite. I wanted to smack him for telling me to eat a FRIED bologna sandwich yesterday. Really!? REALLY!? After you scream at me countless times for drinking sodas? Calling kettles black aren't you, you dumb pot? *sigh*
He wants me to call my mom, hell, my grandmother suggested I even ask her, "Mom, why you want nothing to do to me? What I ever do to you?" I should ask. But I won't. I don't really care enough to talk to her anymore. Let her talk to me if she finally decides I'm important enough to remember. She hasn't called in months, naturally. Not me anyway. She calls my grandmother sometimes. Oh sure, talk to the uber religious matron who'd sooner disown you for your personal relationships within the past dozen years, but not to your first-born (and only) son. Airhead.
I'm at least feeling calm at present. No tears, shakes or even wanting to shout beyond the few caps-locked instances above. Re-reading California Diaries helps, I think. I really relate to Maggie and Ducky, even Sunny in some ways. Not my most favorite book but probably my favorite series. It's up there with The Wildflowers, definitely. I don't really feel like saying too much else now though, it's always a bit too much than what I can get around to putting down in text. Thank you few people for reading, though. Be seein' yous.
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