That does happen to be a pretty common reply of my own when acquaintances or friends ask me of what I'm doing at the time of conversation. That question does annoy me a little. Seriously, why do you need to know? If you don't wish to know, then why are you asking? Surely you have something better to ask about... I guess it's supposed to be polite or something, so I too ask it at times, usually near the start or after a significant period of time (approximately 90 minutes or more) passes between the last notable exchange of words between us. No, I'm not really trying to sound especially smart when I'm typing this. But, I do expect whoever reads this to at least appreciate my partial attempts at sounding educated... being too informal can be kinda annoying. Like this one person published a book which basically was a very realistic if not downright true diary of a 30 year old, hetero American male and MY GOD was it full of stuff I'd never say. Seriously, the guy thinks about sex at least 10 times a day, has a girlfriend, hardly connects with her at all emotionally beyond trying to listen what he implies is the equivalent of mindless rabble from her. It's just... the person narrating, though at least honest, is a total stereotype. And comes off downright bastardly as a result. (Apparently, "bastardly" is not a word; and I do not care the slightest).
But you know what bugs me most? Stubborn people who refuse to admit they're wrong or have wronged other people. Nothing to do with that prior tangent; this refers to... well I guess friend is appropriate, I don't dislike them that much and we talk on a frequent enough basis. More than what I'd consider an acquaintance to be. This guy is a total piece of work. He's honest and well-meaning, but a total clingy dog of a person. And I don't mean "dog" as an insult either... he's really that friendly most of the time if he likes someone. Oh, but don't get me started on the people he likes. Because it makes me embarrassed that he chose to associate me with a certain "stereotype" as well. Which by the way, is more society's fault than any other. They had to come up with words to show disapproval for other people's body types. Anyway, this person has wronged me. In the sense that they have dishonored me with their asinine level of ignorance, and that's not the only strike against them. But I am a very patient person and, with the best of intentions, do not hesitate to tell them of how foolish they behave. As I've told them, "I may have to be mean, but I do only because I truly care about you." I do earnestly mean that, as well.
The way they wronged me was, well... we were talking and when I bring up my own wishes and regards for well, intimacy, this imbecile has the unmitigated gall to tell me to go sleep with a woman. It's just... wrong. Because they theirself are quickly offended if someone so much as tries to pass of their own sexuality (he's gay) as a "choice". SO! How dare he act like I can just choose to sleep with a female because I first and foremost want to be the giving partner in the terms of intimacy and have very limited desires to receive?! I am still entirely flummoxed as to how he can think its okay to even joke about it when he knows of my aversion to the appearance of female genitalia (no offense intended). THEN, oh how very foolish he is, he follows up at a later point, trying to clarify, that oh, there's men who may want to be women and it's just... I am entirely at a loss. Whenever I think back on these facts, I just feel conflicted. Should I really be so mad at him for being a dunce as he clearly is? Y'know, besides other reasons I have to be upset with him. Is it really his fault? I don't believe so, personally, but it still makes me just... feel more empty when people refuse to accept that some people are different and just aren't able to want to be more flexible (in multiple facets of the word) when they haven't experienced what they truly want at first.
As a guy who has not had sex, I just... feel distanced from other people who exhibit such closed-minded thoughts or ideals. Let us be serious for a moment. Do you need to have sex to want to ask someone out, and not only that, but hope that, maybe in your future you would reach a level of intimacy with them? Well I personally say no, sex does not determine a person's sexuality nor their preferences in other people. It can persuade them but hey, if you, as a male, never have been intimate with a woman, even on just an emotional level, then how can you say with complete confidence that you are not "straight"? Unlike my friend, I have been intimate with women, emotionally, not physically and I can say that I'm not really a physical-seeking person. I can also say that as far as physical context and anatomical gender are concerned, I prefer men. I know this because when I engage in personal activities... without meaning to sound crude, I orgasm more completely when my mind, which is receiving physical and mental stimulation, places myself with another male. That is why I know I'm gay. Not because I ever needed someone else to confirm this with their body. Of course if you want to offer me your body and you are a man, more power to you! Hah, have to end on a brighter note.
Other positive things to note of late are:
-several video games I would like to purchase are receiving localizations in my country soon
-thanks to the dunce's meddling, I did meet a new person to talk to who I do like, and that is all (for now)
-I found a diet soda that I actually like to drink; thing is, I abhor Splenda because for me, it gives me this really unsettling aftertaste whenever I consume something it's in; the soda I discovered now uses "good ol'" aspartame as one of its components
-I finally got around to finishing a full playthrough of Magna Carta 2; its a good game, despite its flaws I find a number of things I liked in it (voice acting was also loaded with big names in the US department)
I'll be seeing you, anonymous reader.
