Fire Emblem: Awakening is the latest entry in the Fire Emblem franchise, as many people likely have heard of by now. Heck, it's one of the few Fire Emblem titles to receive televised commercial advertisements in America (a very rare phenomena for non SquareEnix RPGs, in comparison to the genre in general). So, I was reading a more-or-less rant by some tool who was displeased with the game, so much as to label the game bad. But, how bad is or isn't it? With only my general knowledge of the game, I will offer counterpoints on all of their incessant whining.
(any spoiler-ish content will be omitted as much as possible)
1. "The story. ...
The charming simplicity of past games' stories has been replaced by a
wonky Sci-Fi/fantasy hybrid that aims for epic and ends up cluttered,
confused, and strangely uninteresting."
If one reads the articles pertaining to the game developers' thoughts and original drafts for this entry, this is actually what we nearly ended up with -- "Fire Emblem IN SPACE!". Obviously IS wanted a new spin on their old formula and they went with it which is why you'll find elements of science-fiction in the plot of FE13. If this really unnerves you, play Radiant Dawn and tell me which game feels more "confused and uninteresting". Also, does the fanbase really want a title that ONCE AGAIN deals strictly with political conflicts that only stem from social hiccups? Oh yes, Awakening has that but at least they're daring enough to add more, which seems to one as me as the entire focal point of this title--it's Fire Emblem... and more.
--their second complaint was entirely a spoiler element, skipping--
3. "Support conversations. ... While there's
plenty of character development, the characterization is never
particularly good. There's a more nuanced conversation to be had here,
but a quick example should explain what I mean: compare Erk, from FE7,
to Ricken. Erk is a young mage like Ricken, but also ambitious and
fiercely intelligent, often to a fault; he's got a quick wit, a sharp
tongue, and a short temper. He's bad with women. Despite his cool outer
appearance, he fatigues easily and obsesses over his master. He feels
like a believable and complex human being despite his limited screen
time. Ricken feels like a generic anime stereotype with a bit of
backstory."
The fault here is the characterization is entirely the choice of the original developers who are based in Japan and thus, cater essentially to themes of escapism that appeal to the audience in the east. A lot of the so-called personality the plaintiff claims to be present in Erk (who btw is only 15 years old and sounds like he has the persona of a 25 year old easily) is entirely the result of the localization team grasping at straws. In the case of FE13, the characters ARE anime stereotypes and whether or not one can feel endeared by this is solely up to the player's discretion. Personally, Erk is way too developed for an individual who hasn't even finished puberty--and there is beauty to be found in simplicity. If you want a believable ~13 year old boy, who actually shows profound maturity (if still naivety) at occasional moments (especially his introductory chapter), Ricken is your man. You will also find a few characters who were polished up a little for the western audience though; Olivia can be a bit too "soft" in the source material (intentional, her trope is "moe") and clearly shows a more proactive mindset in her support conversations with the Avatar/My Unit.
4. "Balance. Or more specifically, the lack of balance. Nosferatu
is broken. MU is broken. Frederick is broken. SpotPass content, DLC, and
Renown items can trivialize any difficulty mode. You can elect not to
take advantage of this imbalance, as I've tried to do recently, but this
leads to two sub-problems..."
4a. "Children characters. The children acquire the growths and skills of
their parents, making them exceptionally good units. To compensate,
they're hidden in difficulty-curve-botching Paralogue maps, which means
recruiting most of them on any mode above Normal a practical
impossibility. When a typical non-grinding run sees only one or two
children characters recruited, you know you've implemented a feature
poorly."
4b. "Challenge runs. I remained optimistic as long as I
could, but this Lunatic run I've been trying out proves that the
game is not designed around challenge runs. If you don't take
advantage of broken options, you're left with an under-leveled and
outmatched team that demands favorable RNG rolls on the later
maps. This leads to an infuriating paradox: the higher difficulties
can't be reasonably completed without broken options, but broken options
(unsurprisingly) break the game completely. It is impossible to enjoy
Lunatic for this reason, and cripples the game's replay ability."
Nosferatu has been nerfed from its first iterations in Western Fire Emblems to half-drain efficacy (originally was 1:1 damage to recovery ratio). The Avatar is hardly broken. Remove Veteran (possible as soon as the preparation menu shows up) and the Avatar levels at the same speed as every other unit. Remove Ignis and the Avatar's damage output goes from above average to below average as their strength and magic will always fall below more specialized classes. Don't want to reclass a bazillion times? Then don't. Frederick is entirely fair for difficulties above Normal and his internal level for starting promoted, in tandem with his crap bases is enough to hurt his longevity (while ensuring you don't explode in one turn on Lunatic/L+). Children paralogues are all optional and the reward of very potent characters certainly justifies the means. I wonder if the plaintiff understands the definition of the word "Lunatic". And are they perhaps aware that most of the development team do not personally advocate playing Lunatic (heck, one man found Hard too challenging for his self)? Lunatic is meant for the ultimate challenge and there are plenty of people who will enjoy it because it forces them to plan their moves many turns in advance (plenty of people love chess, this is a fact).
--their fifth complaint was further rants of "Lunatic+ is unfair!" and thus, skipping--
6. "Inconsistent tone. In places, this is a very dark game. People kill
themselves. Thousands are lost in war. The game takes place on the
backdrop of past cruelty and oppression. The future is condemned to
death and fire. Yet there's plenty of goofy romance, fourth-wall
breaking, fanservice, swimsuit scenes, and even awkward slapstick to
take whatever serious tone exists and undermine it completely."
"A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down." This is clearly a sentiment the game presents to help keep its audience invested in "the very dark game," its developers created. If one has an honest problem with this, then maybe you should murder every light-hearted individual on the planet. Then you can have your constant grim-dark plots 24/7.
7. "Lacking map design. The open maps are devoid of interesting design, made worse by
the lack of meaningful secondary objectives. The Paralogues are better,
but still a mixed bag. Nothing says "bleh" like an escort mission with
high-level, same-turn reinforcements. The map locations are
nicely varied (mountains, plains, waterfalls, giant trees, even a
dragon's back), but the design beneath the aesthetic is drab and samey.
Awakening really could have used the multiple mission objectives of games like FE5 and FE7."
I do not completely disagree with this. But it would have likely been more trouble than it was worth to implement. They have to cut corners in places to compete with the speed of other games' developments nowadays and so I find the "lack" of variety here as moot since everything else in the game screams, "OMG! Choices!". Reclassing, children, scathes of supports returning to the beloved formula of FE6~9. Honestly I think some people are nigh impossible to please.
Well, that's how I feel. The plaintiff isn't truly wrong, nor without sympathies. But my god, they have a lot of free time to have typed all that spazz. Some people, I tell ya, too much free time!! Lol.
Ciao~.
SH2
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
List of Current Peeves
Things about myself:
-I care way more than I should
-I really need to lose weight
-well, I don't like the way I look and it mostly coincides with--I need to lose weight
-I'm way too shy, and as a result, awkward
-I'm way too honest, and apparently can come off as a "creep" to some people
Things about other people:
-misogynists
-my mother's air-headedness
-my mother and grandfather's doormat-like behavior in regards to their peers
-my mother needs to tell ____ to get the hell out of her house so she CAN LIVE IN HER LEGALLY OWNED PROPERTY (no hate to ____, it's just the principal of the matter)
-my grandfather needs to tell people off when they say dumb/rude things instead of constantly confiding/taking out his hatred on me
-people that think average = undesirable
-promiscuity (I mean MY GOD, reading someone say they'd do their best friend if said friend swings their way is just SCARY)
-prudes (ok, so I want to be able to talk about sex openly)
-people who don't talk much (re: people who give too many single-word responses or take incessantly long to reply)
-people who say they "can't live" because "so and so..."
-anyone who gives me orders or tells me what to do in a commanding/demanding manner
-also, people who don't shut up (re: asking me "what are you up to?" 3 times in 3.5 hours is A BIT INVASIVE)
some of those I've likely shared already, and I don't care, they still annoy me, hah!
take care, randoms~
-I care way more than I should
-I really need to lose weight
-well, I don't like the way I look and it mostly coincides with--I need to lose weight
-I'm way too shy, and as a result, awkward
-I'm way too honest, and apparently can come off as a "creep" to some people
Things about other people:
-misogynists
-my mother's air-headedness
-my mother and grandfather's doormat-like behavior in regards to their peers
-my mother needs to tell ____ to get the hell out of her house so she CAN LIVE IN HER LEGALLY OWNED PROPERTY (no hate to ____, it's just the principal of the matter)
-my grandfather needs to tell people off when they say dumb/rude things instead of constantly confiding/taking out his hatred on me
-people that think average = undesirable
-promiscuity (I mean MY GOD, reading someone say they'd do their best friend if said friend swings their way is just SCARY)
-prudes (ok, so I want to be able to talk about sex openly)
-people who don't talk much (re: people who give too many single-word responses or take incessantly long to reply)
-people who say they "can't live" because "so and so..."
-anyone who gives me orders or tells me what to do in a commanding/demanding manner
-also, people who don't shut up (re: asking me "what are you up to?" 3 times in 3.5 hours is A BIT INVASIVE)
some of those I've likely shared already, and I don't care, they still annoy me, hah!
take care, randoms~
Monday, February 4, 2013
Words
They say actions speak louder than them; but what if you can't see the person's actions? Aren't those actions then rendered useless? And what about our thoughts? A lot of people think in words. No, not everyone but anyone who's ever read a book will in turn have been affected by words alone. Especially any book with no illustrations.
Lately I've been thinking about... well, let's not mince words here. Casey. ♥ Oh... lol. It's weird I guess. I mean, it's been 4 years since I last heard from him (or about that long). And still I miss him. I try to get over it. I try to welcome new people and possibilities, shifting as much energy and affection as I can to those things. But I still just want to see, well, talk with him again as the case may be. I never saw him directly. I found his Myspace page around the time the site was mostly dead anyway and I did try to contact him nonetheless. I'm *fairly* sure I got no reply. Oh well, that'd be too easy.
I guess I'm in love with him to a degree. I can go weeks without thinking much of him at all but he's always there. I guess I want someone that fits most of the things I liked about him--well, he was giving and open but never overtly so. We'd spend a lot of time spooning in cyberspace but we'd also talk just about our lives and the joy of being free to live together. It wasn't that we had any particular goals in anything, we just seemed more alive with one another. I don't know about you, whoever reads this, but that sounds like a rather positive thing to me.
I never really knew the him outside his words though as I more or less meant by "never saw". No real looks to go by. But I trusted him. I did get a glimpse of something physical and I'm fairly sure (though I don't have the image any longer--deleted for sanity's sake) that wasn't a lie. There'd be no point in that. Besides, I liked him too and though I mostly showed it by wanting to spend an hour or so with intimate exchange, I was pretty honest with him. It was my own fault for mistaking such displays as genuine attraction from people though. It led to our falling out if you want to call it. But we were able to talk a little after it and mostly I was just elated to have time with him again, though that turned out brief.
He was sensitive in some regards, kinda enjoyed humor, and needed me to a degree. I like those things in people... I don't like feeling unneeded or without being able to laugh. As it turns out I apparently laugh easily when I'm amused/feeling happy in general. It might be that since I cry easily, I also laugh easily? Not unsurprising, I suppose. I may just feel a bit lackluster since he felt he could leave so easily. It's positive I was able to show him that he could be loved (his words mostly) but I can't help but wish he was still around.
I think I'm able to love most people. Or, that I simply try to really know and appreciate people just for being there. Just for their words, as it appears. Oh sure, I could probably find some things to not like about him. I just wasn't quite given that chance, lol. I guess it feels incomplete, so I'm still in love with him, at least a little. Sometimes more than a little. But, I will earnestly try, when it's more than a little, to remember to love whoever is trying to love me. At least, when they truly want to. I'm at least, not out of love just yet.
And one more thing... he never made me choose. Oh sure we both hadn't had sex before and I still haven't as of this entry. But that was a big thing. He let me do as I wanted. Hell, he encouraged me to be the assertive/aggressive partner and for that I was thrilled. Sure my text implied I would be open to taking turns with him, but he didn't need that. There are few things hotter than the person you love (y'know, not to leave out you boring straight folk) asking you to go inside them. Pfft, I don't care if I ever did get to penetrate him or not, I'd even be content with my fingers. And there I go... bad me.
Later, randoms.
Lately I've been thinking about... well, let's not mince words here. Casey. ♥ Oh... lol. It's weird I guess. I mean, it's been 4 years since I last heard from him (or about that long). And still I miss him. I try to get over it. I try to welcome new people and possibilities, shifting as much energy and affection as I can to those things. But I still just want to see, well, talk with him again as the case may be. I never saw him directly. I found his Myspace page around the time the site was mostly dead anyway and I did try to contact him nonetheless. I'm *fairly* sure I got no reply. Oh well, that'd be too easy.
I guess I'm in love with him to a degree. I can go weeks without thinking much of him at all but he's always there. I guess I want someone that fits most of the things I liked about him--well, he was giving and open but never overtly so. We'd spend a lot of time spooning in cyberspace but we'd also talk just about our lives and the joy of being free to live together. It wasn't that we had any particular goals in anything, we just seemed more alive with one another. I don't know about you, whoever reads this, but that sounds like a rather positive thing to me.
I never really knew the him outside his words though as I more or less meant by "never saw". No real looks to go by. But I trusted him. I did get a glimpse of something physical and I'm fairly sure (though I don't have the image any longer--deleted for sanity's sake) that wasn't a lie. There'd be no point in that. Besides, I liked him too and though I mostly showed it by wanting to spend an hour or so with intimate exchange, I was pretty honest with him. It was my own fault for mistaking such displays as genuine attraction from people though. It led to our falling out if you want to call it. But we were able to talk a little after it and mostly I was just elated to have time with him again, though that turned out brief.
He was sensitive in some regards, kinda enjoyed humor, and needed me to a degree. I like those things in people... I don't like feeling unneeded or without being able to laugh. As it turns out I apparently laugh easily when I'm amused/feeling happy in general. It might be that since I cry easily, I also laugh easily? Not unsurprising, I suppose. I may just feel a bit lackluster since he felt he could leave so easily. It's positive I was able to show him that he could be loved (his words mostly) but I can't help but wish he was still around.
I think I'm able to love most people. Or, that I simply try to really know and appreciate people just for being there. Just for their words, as it appears. Oh sure, I could probably find some things to not like about him. I just wasn't quite given that chance, lol. I guess it feels incomplete, so I'm still in love with him, at least a little. Sometimes more than a little. But, I will earnestly try, when it's more than a little, to remember to love whoever is trying to love me. At least, when they truly want to. I'm at least, not out of love just yet.
And one more thing... he never made me choose. Oh sure we both hadn't had sex before and I still haven't as of this entry. But that was a big thing. He let me do as I wanted. Hell, he encouraged me to be the assertive/aggressive partner and for that I was thrilled. Sure my text implied I would be open to taking turns with him, but he didn't need that. There are few things hotter than the person you love (y'know, not to leave out you boring straight folk) asking you to go inside them. Pfft, I don't care if I ever did get to penetrate him or not, I'd even be content with my fingers. And there I go... bad me.
Later, randoms.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
This Post is all about... S-E-X (part 1)
I was inspired to fill out my own "yes-no-maybe" list after the "true end" of a webcomic series I love dearly was presented today. It's going to be very detailed, so let it be know that YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Anyway, some preface notes:
1). I am a virgin, so all my answers will be as close as I can accurately give based solely on what I want/don't want.
2). In all questions referring to a partner, I will be under the assumption that my partner is either:
A - a homosexual and biological male
or
B - a biological female who identifies as a homosexual male and prefers a homosexual male as his sex partner with the verbal agreement that no attention will be paid to the birth parts between his front legs
No offense to anyone, I just really don't feel comfortable thinking physical intimacy with women at all. And if it matters to anyone, I'd prefer my partner be no more than 4 years younger or 12 years older than me, regardless of how old I end up before truly having intercourse on a semi-regular basis.
All answers are for me, mind you. So, let it begin!
Body Boundaries
Q - Having a partner touch me affectionately without asking first
A - yes
Q - Touching a partner affectionately without asking first
A - yes; sometimes at least
Q - Having a partner touch me sexually without asking first
A - maybe; moreso if we already have had sex once already
Q - Touching a partner sexually without asking first
A - maybe; but I'd prefer to ask first, usually
Q - Having a partner touch me affectionately in public
A - yes (please)
Q - Touching a partner affectionately in public
A - yes; if they tell me so
Q - Having a partner touch me sexually in public
A - maybe; probably yes, though I hope its at least semi-discreet
Q - Touching a partner sexually in public
A - maybe; if they ask me to or heavily hint at it?
Q - Having my shirt/top off with a partner
Having a partner's shirt/top off
Having my pants/bottoms off with a partner
Having a partner's pants/bottoms off
A - yes to all
Q - Being completely naked with a partner with the lights off or low
Having a partner be completely naked with the lights off or low
Having a partner be completely naked with the lights on
A - yes to these, but...
Q - Being completely naked with a partner with the lights on
A - maybe~leaning no on this one
Q - Direct eye contact
A - yes; unless they tell me of a personal problem w/ it
Q - Being looked at directly, overall, when I am naked
A - maybe; I'm shy about my body
Q - Grooming or toileting in front of a partner
A - maybe; if they say they're ok w/ it
Q - Having a partner groom/use the toilet in front of me
A - no thanks
Q - Having my genitals looked at directly
A - yes
Q - Having a partner talk about my body
A - maybe; if they feel like it, though I don't prefer it
Q - Talking about a partner's body
A - no; unless they ask me to
Q - Having some or all of a disability, identity or difference I have be specifically made part of sex, sexualized or objectified
Having some or all of a disability, identity or difference a partner has be specifically made part of sex,
sexualized or objectified
A - no to both
Q - Seeing or being exposed to other kinds of body fluids
(like semen, sweat or urine)
A - maybe; yes on semen and sweat; NO to the third one
Q - Shaving/trimming/removing my own pubic hair
A - yes
Q - Shaving/trimming/removing a partner's pubic hair
A - maybe; though I wouldn't ask to sit in on it but if they need my help, I guess
Some parts of my body are just off-limits. Those are: I don't think there are any. But I'm Very, VERY ticklish in most places. (Like, can't-stop-kicking level of ticklish).
I am not comfortable looking at, touching or feeling some parts of another person's body. Those are: I pretty much mentioned this in my intro~.
What helps me feel most comfortable being naked with someone? What are ways a partner does or may talk about my body make or could make me feel uncomfortable? What do I "count" as sexual touching and what do I consider affectionate touching?
Um, when you (my partner) talk about things you like about me besides my body, like while we're naked. And then between your points, kiss me in various places. Like, show that you notice things most people probably take for granted (it's the little things, people!). Basically I don't ever like my weight or size of things ever being talked about by other people asides myself. Period. So just avoid that and we're cool. I like when people appreciate my ideas and overall effort I put into things--recognize how passionate I am and I could hardly be happier! Sexual touching is basically any touch of my backside, privates or upper chest around the nipples and I don't prefer that unless you are really in the mood. I'm pretty much as turned on as my partner is or isn't at the time. Take that as you want~.
Words & Terms
I prefer the following gender/sexual identity or role words (like man, woman, boi, femme, butch, top, etc.) to be used for me: Man, Sir
I prefer my chest or breasts be referred to as: Chest (maybe "moobs", in jokes only)
I prefer my genitals to be referred to as: Penis/Cock/Stick
I prefer my sexual orientation and/or identity to be referred to as: Homo/Queer/"Nine-Tenths Gay"
Some words I am not okay with to refer to me, my identity, my body, or which I am uncomfortable using or hearing about, with or during any kind of sex are: Fag; being called a girl or having any part of my body called by a part normally belonging to females (i.e. "pussy", "breasts", etc.)
Are certain words okay in some settings or situations but not in others? How flexible am I with what a partner might want to call something I like calling something else?
I will be flexible depending on how long I've known you and we've talked. In short, expect me to be very inflexible for the first month or two of knowing you, even if we've started on sex by then. I hope that's reasonable.
Stay tuned when next I cover subjects such as: relationship models, safe sex and sexual responses~!
Lol, as if anyone really reads my blog seriously. See ya, weirdos! xD
1). I am a virgin, so all my answers will be as close as I can accurately give based solely on what I want/don't want.
2). In all questions referring to a partner, I will be under the assumption that my partner is either:
A - a homosexual and biological male
or
B - a biological female who identifies as a homosexual male and prefers a homosexual male as his sex partner with the verbal agreement that no attention will be paid to the birth parts between his front legs
No offense to anyone, I just really don't feel comfortable thinking physical intimacy with women at all. And if it matters to anyone, I'd prefer my partner be no more than 4 years younger or 12 years older than me, regardless of how old I end up before truly having intercourse on a semi-regular basis.
All answers are for me, mind you. So, let it begin!
Body Boundaries
Q - Having a partner touch me affectionately without asking first
A - yes
Q - Touching a partner affectionately without asking first
A - yes; sometimes at least
Q - Having a partner touch me sexually without asking first
A - maybe; moreso if we already have had sex once already
Q - Touching a partner sexually without asking first
A - maybe; but I'd prefer to ask first, usually
Q - Having a partner touch me affectionately in public
A - yes (please)
Q - Touching a partner affectionately in public
A - yes; if they tell me so
Q - Having a partner touch me sexually in public
A - maybe; probably yes, though I hope its at least semi-discreet
Q - Touching a partner sexually in public
A - maybe; if they ask me to or heavily hint at it?
Q - Having my shirt/top off with a partner
Having a partner's shirt/top off
Having my pants/bottoms off with a partner
Having a partner's pants/bottoms off
A - yes to all
Q - Being completely naked with a partner with the lights off or low
Having a partner be completely naked with the lights off or low
Having a partner be completely naked with the lights on
A - yes to these, but...
Q - Being completely naked with a partner with the lights on
A - maybe~leaning no on this one
Q - Direct eye contact
A - yes; unless they tell me of a personal problem w/ it
Q - Being looked at directly, overall, when I am naked
A - maybe; I'm shy about my body
Q - Grooming or toileting in front of a partner
A - maybe; if they say they're ok w/ it
Q - Having a partner groom/use the toilet in front of me
A - no thanks
Q - Having my genitals looked at directly
A - yes
Q - Having a partner talk about my body
A - maybe; if they feel like it, though I don't prefer it
Q - Talking about a partner's body
A - no; unless they ask me to
Q - Having some or all of a disability, identity or difference I have be specifically made part of sex, sexualized or objectified
Having some or all of a disability, identity or difference a partner has be specifically made part of sex,
sexualized or objectified
A - no to both
Q - Seeing or being exposed to other kinds of body fluids
(like semen, sweat or urine)
A - maybe; yes on semen and sweat; NO to the third one
Q - Shaving/trimming/removing my own pubic hair
A - yes
Q - Shaving/trimming/removing a partner's pubic hair
A - maybe; though I wouldn't ask to sit in on it but if they need my help, I guess
Some parts of my body are just off-limits. Those are: I don't think there are any. But I'm Very, VERY ticklish in most places. (Like, can't-stop-kicking level of ticklish).
I am not comfortable looking at, touching or feeling some parts of another person's body. Those are: I pretty much mentioned this in my intro~.
What helps me feel most comfortable being naked with someone? What are ways a partner does or may talk about my body make or could make me feel uncomfortable? What do I "count" as sexual touching and what do I consider affectionate touching?
Um, when you (my partner) talk about things you like about me besides my body, like while we're naked. And then between your points, kiss me in various places. Like, show that you notice things most people probably take for granted (it's the little things, people!). Basically I don't ever like my weight or size of things ever being talked about by other people asides myself. Period. So just avoid that and we're cool. I like when people appreciate my ideas and overall effort I put into things--recognize how passionate I am and I could hardly be happier! Sexual touching is basically any touch of my backside, privates or upper chest around the nipples and I don't prefer that unless you are really in the mood. I'm pretty much as turned on as my partner is or isn't at the time. Take that as you want~.
Words & Terms
I prefer the following gender/sexual identity or role words (like man, woman, boi, femme, butch, top, etc.) to be used for me: Man, Sir
I prefer my chest or breasts be referred to as: Chest (maybe "moobs", in jokes only)
I prefer my genitals to be referred to as: Penis/Cock/Stick
I prefer my sexual orientation and/or identity to be referred to as: Homo/Queer/"Nine-Tenths Gay"
Some words I am not okay with to refer to me, my identity, my body, or which I am uncomfortable using or hearing about, with or during any kind of sex are: Fag; being called a girl or having any part of my body called by a part normally belonging to females (i.e. "pussy", "breasts", etc.)
Are certain words okay in some settings or situations but not in others? How flexible am I with what a partner might want to call something I like calling something else?
I will be flexible depending on how long I've known you and we've talked. In short, expect me to be very inflexible for the first month or two of knowing you, even if we've started on sex by then. I hope that's reasonable.
Stay tuned when next I cover subjects such as: relationship models, safe sex and sexual responses~!
Lol, as if anyone really reads my blog seriously. See ya, weirdos! xD
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Why I don't write poems
Well, at least I usually don't. I don't think I'm very poetic or very good at them. I like free verse. I hate structure and being told what to do. But sometimes I come up with a cheesy rhyme when I'm not really trying. Today I did manage to think of one, though.
(no title)
Would you let me sing
in order to bring
an end to everything, dear?
All of the pain
that constantly strains
upon your heart, dear?
Yet, 'tween all the rain
waits something to gain;
can you see--it's me, dear?
>_> Well, it's um... not too specific I guess. *shrug* I mean I think anyone could relate to it somewhat and it's sorta original, I think. I don't know, too many things are already done and copyrighted and blah blah blah. So, meh... I don't even understand why I sound so... gloomy? Whiny? Bah... Poems are dumb. And I can't even get myself to write stories much because they often end up angst-ridden, crazy sex pieces. Or something. I guess I should expect this from never being laid, ehhh. *shrug*
(no title)
Would you let me sing
in order to bring
an end to everything, dear?
All of the pain
that constantly strains
upon your heart, dear?
Yet, 'tween all the rain
waits something to gain;
can you see--it's me, dear?
>_> Well, it's um... not too specific I guess. *shrug* I mean I think anyone could relate to it somewhat and it's sorta original, I think. I don't know, too many things are already done and copyrighted and blah blah blah. So, meh... I don't even understand why I sound so... gloomy? Whiny? Bah... Poems are dumb. And I can't even get myself to write stories much because they often end up angst-ridden, crazy sex pieces. Or something. I guess I should expect this from never being laid, ehhh. *shrug*
Friday, December 28, 2012
In which I respond to someone's tumblr thingamabob~
Have you ever...?
- 1. Taken a picture naked
- 2. Painted your room?
- 3. Kissed a member of the same sex?
- 4. Drove a car?
- 5. Danced in front of your mirror?
- 6. Had a crush?
- 7. Been dumped?
- 8. Stole money from a friend?
- 9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
- 10. Been in a fist fight?
- 11. Sneaked out of your house?
- 12. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
- 13. Been arrested?
- 14. Made out with a stranger?
- 15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
- 16. Left your house without telling your parents?
- 17. Had a crush on your neighbor?
- 18. Ditched school to do something more fun?
- 19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
- 20. Seen someone die?
- 21. Been on a plane?
- 22. Kissed a picture?
- 23. Slept in until 3 PM?
- 24. Love someone or miss someone right now?
- 25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
- 26. Made a snow angel?
- 27. Played dress up?
- 28. Cheated while playing a game?
- 29. Been lonely?
- 30. Fallen asleep at work/school?
- 31. Been to a club?
- 32. Felt an earthquake?
- 33. Touched a snake?
- 34. Ran a red light?
- 35. Been suspended from school?
- 36. Had detention?
- 37. Been in a car accident?
- 38. Hated the way you look?
- 39. Witnessed a crime?
- 40. Pole danced?
- 41. Been lost?
- 42. Been to the opposite side of the country?
- 43. Felt like dying?
- 44. Cried yourself to sleep?
- 45. Sang karaoke?
- 46. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
- 47. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- 48. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- 49. Kissed in the rain?
- 50. Sang in the shower?
- 51. Made out in a park?
- 52. Dream that you married someone?
- 53. Glued your hand to something?
- 54. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
- 55. Ever gone to school partially naked?
- 56. Been a cheerleader?
- 57. Sat on a roof top?
- 58. Brushed your teeth?
- 59. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
- 60. Played chicken?
- 61. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- 62. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
- 63. Broken a bone?
- 64. Been easily amused?
- 65. Laughed so hard you cried?
- 66. Mooned/flashed someone?
- 67. Cheated on a test?
- 68. Forgotten someone’s name?
- 69. Slept naked?
1. Yes, I do this at random and usually delete them right away (via my webcam).
2. Nope, I consider it work and I dislike most work to be honest...
3. Obviously... (that means yes).
4. Nope. Just go carts once, apparently rather badly.
5. Probably.
6. Define "crush".
7. Yep.
8. No.
9. Define "just met". (Technically, yes.)
10. I don't think so.
11. Actually I have sneaked back into my house, haha.
12. I believe so.
13. No.
14. No.
15. Yep. And I'm counting this as in order to date or hang, just so you know.
16. Technically. (Does it count if your parent isn't home usually anyway?)
17. Nope.
18. No. When I didn't go to school I stayed home.
19. Define "slept with". (Technically, yes.)
20. Never in person.
21. Yes.
22. Yep.
23. Yep.
24. Indeed.
25. Maybe, I don't remember precisely.
26. Yes.
27. Technically.
28. No.
29. Often.
30. Once, I think.
31. Nope.
32. Nope.
33. Yes.
34. Since I don't drive, no. (but have my drivers that I rode with? yes)
35. Yes.
36. A lot more than you'd think.
37. Yes.
38. Define "hated". (Probably.)
39. No.
40. No.
41. No. I've been with people who got themselves lost though.
42. Nope.
43. Not quite.
44. Yes.
45. Not exactly. I sing a capella frequently though.
46. I don't think so.
47. Yes.
48. No.
49. Define "in the rain." (I kissed outside while it was raining once and had moved under cover *shrug*).
50. Yes.
51. No.
52. Not quite.
53. No.
54. Nope.
55. No.
56. Define "been". (sort of)
57. No.
58. I would hope so... (what sort of question is this? Should ask if I've gone a week w/o brushing, which I have~.)
59. Yep.
60. No.
61. No. (and death to those that try... *ahem*)
62. Yes.
63. No.
64. Told I was by others. *shrugs*
65. Yes.
66. No.
67. Once.
68. Not usually. (perhaps)
69. Not very often.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said...
To talk of many things.
I should know what that's from, but I don't remember. Well, it's referenced in two of the Alice in Wonderland movies (though not that recent thing by... Tim Burton, was it?). Anyway, I guess I do feel like talking or whatever.
Here's a quick reference list for the most important people of my recent life. I don't have any ladies on the list so idk, that feels weird. Naturally I will abbreviate in all instances for privacy reason (idk, I don't like to drop names much in conversation, too much to remember).
B1
B1 is a guy I talk to almost every day. He lives some place in Florida, though he lived several years before in Massachusetts. I probably could just drop the shorthand of his 'net name easily but bah, effort. We get along fine, as much as two guys can in a platonic relationship. I don't really want to sleep with him anyway, lol, I don't like him that way, asides, he's quite straight. I'm about his only male friend on the internet, he mostly speaks to women.
CS
CS was... very special. Maybe a little suicidal but a really funny, sweet kid when I knew him. It's odd that I often think of him as the guy I'd most want to date again, of the people I've made emotional investments with. Well, he'd probably think it odd of me. I'd really like to hear from him again.
CN
CN is a new contact. This isn't really a "VIP" list, but more about the people that occupy my mind a lot and aren't family. I really like him (well, I like most of what I know about him) and I wanted to talk to him since late October. Because I think we have a good deal in common. We both like seafood and probably have several other overlapping interests besides our sexual interests (by which we'd be compatible and that's always a nice thing). I don't really know his family name and haven't asked him too many personal things yet. He's often busy; he works as a teacher's aide, which I think is really cool.
JB
JB kinda vanished lately. I have no idea what the hell he's doing and why doesn't he even call me? I'm kinda mad at his lack of communication consistency. Whatever, he can go die and likely will at the destructive way he lives his life. Smoking and other crap he just doesn't need, let alone should damn well know not to do. Of course I don't really hate him or anything, he just bugs me. He was the third guy I dated.
JD
JD was the first guy I ever fully felt in love with at some point. He's artistic and surprisingly sensitive for a delinquent and huge arse flirt. You can imagine it didn't work. But I like him, when I'm not thinking about beating him overhead with a book, lol.
RF
RF lives in Canada and he's a nice kid. We basically flirted a little with each other but then he dated JB for a while (I had also dated JB and he broke up with me really close to my birthday, the stupid biatch, lol). They're not together anymore and that's probably for the best, too. They're much longer distance than anything I've been involved with already.
RY
RY, haha, your initials make a common shorthand of my given name. Well, he's a newer friend. He's weird in some ways but I think he's pretty decent. When he's not doing stupid things, at least. None too long ago, he moved in with his bro and is actually in my home state. Which is nice I guess but he whines a lot about me living 4+ hours away, talks like it's 1000 miles. What a child. I don't know about him most of the time, I don't know whether to really like or dislike him *shrug*.
T1
T1 is another friend I frequently talk to. We briefly entertained the ideas of us dating. Though we got along well, he didn't feel like he fit me well enough. And stuff. So we're just friends now and we talk the second most often, compared to B1.
TW
TW lives in the UK and we talk at times. More openly than most, oddly enough. I think its strange that my straight friends are the ones that appear most willing and amicable to talk to me. Fags need to speak up or something, maybe I just go for quiet types? *shrug*
W1
W1, I've known him for a few years but we don't talk too much. We talked recently though and he's okay. He and RY have had quite a bit of sex in their lives thus far, more or less. They're opposites though and RY more than likely wouldn't go for W1, and thank god for that. I don't like the idea of my friends hooking up. I rather they date other people and be happy. I don't really want their problems to overlap and me ever being forced to pick sides, no thank you.
That'll do for now. o.0 Looking at it makes me feel weird, I talk to more people than I expect, but it's not really that many anyway. And I probably omitted a small handful of people that I just don't care enough to include. Or don't want to bring up because of some guilt. Yep.
Grandfather still picks at me just for eating. At least it's not so bad this morning. I don't like waiting for 5 hours or more between "meals" (I'm often still hungry when he tries to portion my food) and really, he'd just want me to eat like two pizza slices and then drink water for the rest of the day. AND he'd still bitch then about pizza being "no good". Impossible to please. Too much pressure to be successful and stuff, explains why I flounder so much when I try to do anything. I don't get the support I really want from... anyone. Well, not counting some of those guys above but even then, none of them have really spent time with me in person, at least not yet anyway. He'll only look baffled and actually gets on my case to eat if I actually try to skip meals. What a hypocrite. I wanted to smack him for telling me to eat a FRIED bologna sandwich yesterday. Really!? REALLY!? After you scream at me countless times for drinking sodas? Calling kettles black aren't you, you dumb pot? *sigh*
He wants me to call my mom, hell, my grandmother suggested I even ask her, "Mom, why you want nothing to do to me? What I ever do to you?" I should ask. But I won't. I don't really care enough to talk to her anymore. Let her talk to me if she finally decides I'm important enough to remember. She hasn't called in months, naturally. Not me anyway. She calls my grandmother sometimes. Oh sure, talk to the uber religious matron who'd sooner disown you for your personal relationships within the past dozen years, but not to your first-born (and only) son. Airhead.
I'm at least feeling calm at present. No tears, shakes or even wanting to shout beyond the few caps-locked instances above. Re-reading California Diaries helps, I think. I really relate to Maggie and Ducky, even Sunny in some ways. Not my most favorite book but probably my favorite series. It's up there with The Wildflowers, definitely. I don't really feel like saying too much else now though, it's always a bit too much than what I can get around to putting down in text. Thank you few people for reading, though. Be seein' yous.
I should know what that's from, but I don't remember. Well, it's referenced in two of the Alice in Wonderland movies (though not that recent thing by... Tim Burton, was it?). Anyway, I guess I do feel like talking or whatever.
Here's a quick reference list for the most important people of my recent life. I don't have any ladies on the list so idk, that feels weird. Naturally I will abbreviate in all instances for privacy reason (idk, I don't like to drop names much in conversation, too much to remember).
B1
B1 is a guy I talk to almost every day. He lives some place in Florida, though he lived several years before in Massachusetts. I probably could just drop the shorthand of his 'net name easily but bah, effort. We get along fine, as much as two guys can in a platonic relationship. I don't really want to sleep with him anyway, lol, I don't like him that way, asides, he's quite straight. I'm about his only male friend on the internet, he mostly speaks to women.
CS
CS was... very special. Maybe a little suicidal but a really funny, sweet kid when I knew him. It's odd that I often think of him as the guy I'd most want to date again, of the people I've made emotional investments with. Well, he'd probably think it odd of me. I'd really like to hear from him again.
CN
CN is a new contact. This isn't really a "VIP" list, but more about the people that occupy my mind a lot and aren't family. I really like him (well, I like most of what I know about him) and I wanted to talk to him since late October. Because I think we have a good deal in common. We both like seafood and probably have several other overlapping interests besides our sexual interests (by which we'd be compatible and that's always a nice thing). I don't really know his family name and haven't asked him too many personal things yet. He's often busy; he works as a teacher's aide, which I think is really cool.
JB
JB kinda vanished lately. I have no idea what the hell he's doing and why doesn't he even call me? I'm kinda mad at his lack of communication consistency. Whatever, he can go die and likely will at the destructive way he lives his life. Smoking and other crap he just doesn't need, let alone should damn well know not to do. Of course I don't really hate him or anything, he just bugs me. He was the third guy I dated.
JD
JD was the first guy I ever fully felt in love with at some point. He's artistic and surprisingly sensitive for a delinquent and huge arse flirt. You can imagine it didn't work. But I like him, when I'm not thinking about beating him overhead with a book, lol.
RF
RF lives in Canada and he's a nice kid. We basically flirted a little with each other but then he dated JB for a while (I had also dated JB and he broke up with me really close to my birthday, the stupid biatch, lol). They're not together anymore and that's probably for the best, too. They're much longer distance than anything I've been involved with already.
RY
RY, haha, your initials make a common shorthand of my given name. Well, he's a newer friend. He's weird in some ways but I think he's pretty decent. When he's not doing stupid things, at least. None too long ago, he moved in with his bro and is actually in my home state. Which is nice I guess but he whines a lot about me living 4+ hours away, talks like it's 1000 miles. What a child. I don't know about him most of the time, I don't know whether to really like or dislike him *shrug*.
T1
T1 is another friend I frequently talk to. We briefly entertained the ideas of us dating. Though we got along well, he didn't feel like he fit me well enough. And stuff. So we're just friends now and we talk the second most often, compared to B1.
TW
TW lives in the UK and we talk at times. More openly than most, oddly enough. I think its strange that my straight friends are the ones that appear most willing and amicable to talk to me. Fags need to speak up or something, maybe I just go for quiet types? *shrug*
W1
W1, I've known him for a few years but we don't talk too much. We talked recently though and he's okay. He and RY have had quite a bit of sex in their lives thus far, more or less. They're opposites though and RY more than likely wouldn't go for W1, and thank god for that. I don't like the idea of my friends hooking up. I rather they date other people and be happy. I don't really want their problems to overlap and me ever being forced to pick sides, no thank you.
That'll do for now. o.0 Looking at it makes me feel weird, I talk to more people than I expect, but it's not really that many anyway. And I probably omitted a small handful of people that I just don't care enough to include. Or don't want to bring up because of some guilt. Yep.
Grandfather still picks at me just for eating. At least it's not so bad this morning. I don't like waiting for 5 hours or more between "meals" (I'm often still hungry when he tries to portion my food) and really, he'd just want me to eat like two pizza slices and then drink water for the rest of the day. AND he'd still bitch then about pizza being "no good". Impossible to please. Too much pressure to be successful and stuff, explains why I flounder so much when I try to do anything. I don't get the support I really want from... anyone. Well, not counting some of those guys above but even then, none of them have really spent time with me in person, at least not yet anyway. He'll only look baffled and actually gets on my case to eat if I actually try to skip meals. What a hypocrite. I wanted to smack him for telling me to eat a FRIED bologna sandwich yesterday. Really!? REALLY!? After you scream at me countless times for drinking sodas? Calling kettles black aren't you, you dumb pot? *sigh*
He wants me to call my mom, hell, my grandmother suggested I even ask her, "Mom, why you want nothing to do to me? What I ever do to you?" I should ask. But I won't. I don't really care enough to talk to her anymore. Let her talk to me if she finally decides I'm important enough to remember. She hasn't called in months, naturally. Not me anyway. She calls my grandmother sometimes. Oh sure, talk to the uber religious matron who'd sooner disown you for your personal relationships within the past dozen years, but not to your first-born (and only) son. Airhead.
I'm at least feeling calm at present. No tears, shakes or even wanting to shout beyond the few caps-locked instances above. Re-reading California Diaries helps, I think. I really relate to Maggie and Ducky, even Sunny in some ways. Not my most favorite book but probably my favorite series. It's up there with The Wildflowers, definitely. I don't really feel like saying too much else now though, it's always a bit too much than what I can get around to putting down in text. Thank you few people for reading, though. Be seein' yous.
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