Have to say, I always love answering questions. Well, particularly personal questions that don't offend me (most don't). And so I will. All of these particular ones are from Tab Kimpton's kickstarter project which ultimately will lead him to continuing the story of his popular(?) webcomic: Khaos. It's pretty good; centers around teenage/young adult gay, trans and people in general. 'Course they could all be straight and it'd hardly change anything, just how things turn out because you can't really change their personality and history without drastically altering the series as it is. Pretty much though, most of the characters aren't that... outspoken except perhaps Tom (who's honestly a jerk but frequently made aware of it, lol).
I haven't heard from Jer still; I do hope he's okay and I'm wondering--if he is around, why isn't he trying to really talk to me? Did I do something wrong? I don't have any reason to hate him, even if (heaven forbid) he was disloyal to me, so what? That doesn't mean I love him any less. I'm pretty much at the point where... yeah, if I'm sorta going with someone and they cheat on me, I'll hardly care. I'll be disappointed but so what? As long as I never hurt them, I don't really see why they should turn from me. What hurts is simply not knowing... not hearing from a person you're genuinely happy to be around. It's like a hug with no squeeze, a sandwich with no cheese, it's just... empty. I wish he would even try to call me or something... his voice was really nice, judging by what little I've heard of it, at least.
So anywhose... questionnes!
Are catboys hot? Y/N?
Who do you think you're talking to? Of course they are; cats are pretty cool irl and so men acting like cats--always rather adorable. Give or take some habits. I generally prefer them over catgirls just because catgirls tend to be done to death. But what bothers me are when people who really don't suit them play them anyway. Some people just suit other animals more and there's nothing more grating than pretending to be what you're not.
Food sex? Y/N?
Okay, it depends on what it is. Like pizza toppings, you could work them into foreplay. So my answer is, uh, sure--as long as I can clean up in between. And naturally he and I would need to pre-approve whatever's involved. (Never spring this on me or I will be livid).
What's the coolest outfit you imagine your favorite original character in? (this was limited to Khaos by the ask-er but I thought to expand it for my own sanity; all Khaos characters belong to Tab anyway)
This one will be a while... *now calculating... now calculating...*
Well I'll go with the OC closest to me (Ran) even though I don't truly treat them as a self-insert (even then, I pretty much pick at all my flaws regularly with them) soo... typically a Beret (the hat), some type of vest or sweater, simple pants (possibly leather) and some black leather boots so polished they shine... lol. Idk, I like simple designs, call me strange! What would I call it? Um... its kind of a cross between formal wear and street gang. High class punk? No clue~.
Who's your favorite (fictional or not) friend(s)? Strictly platonic.
Well, that would have to be Alexander (even if he never reads this; also that is not his real name). In fact, we don't always agree on much. But he's always there to listen to me. I'll admit, it hurts sometimes when he just doesn't get my opinion on things. But unlike many people, (as very few fit this) he's there, a lot. That really is pretty important. And unlike a few others who come close, I don't have to hold anything back. (just being able to share everything is a great boon and I can't with everyone because of making people uncomfortable with certain truths and things I like)
Ever had a crush on a friend's sibling?
Well that depends on what you define as "friend". If acquaintance counts, yes, seeing as I spoke to my first boyfriend's sister a bit before he and I truly were dating for a bit. So, only technically. (since I was going with her brother and not opposed to her as a person)
If your characters were fruit, what would they be?
God I don't like fruit as much as vegetables (which I actually did make a comparison, months ago).
But I'll try... (only going to go with my most common ones)
Ran - pineapple; tall, rather mellow, very sweet, has a starkly misleading exterior (ironically, I personally loathe pineapples!)
Boh - blueberry; bit of an acquired taste and only really speaks [to me] when baked into a dessert which speaks of his personality -- it has to grow on you and you either like it or don't and despite his "raw taste", he can surprise you (like blueberry muffins)
Alexander - lime; he can come off sour, but he compliments those he associates well (just as limes mingle well in savory and sweet dishes with other ingredients), he would be missed if he left just as you might miss the lime if taken out of anything that typically calls for it
Jeauno - grape; kinda fragile and has been known to be overextended, but even so, she comes off friendly and good company when you're down (this is a wine metaphor)
Mica - pumpkin; cute, but unpredictable just as there are many shapes and sizes of the pumpkin; his true self is just as playful and wholesome as his outside; pumpkins also make great sweet dishes (and he likes to bake, how fitting~)
If someone gives you flowers, what kind would they be?
Oh, I would love hyacinth, because they have a mythological story behind their name that I like (the story). And they're purple! But any flower would be fine. ^^
What's the best tea you ever tasted?
That would be "none" because the taste of tea, and hot drinks in general, is not something I like much at all. I don't really like iced tea either.
Have you ever had the 'fireworks' feeling in romance novels of old?
Well, not quite. Close, probably. But I hope to, eventually.
If you had a biographical profile written on you, what would be your "likes and dislikes"? Up to three of each.
Likes: jRPGs, shades of purple, open communication
Dislikes: hot drinks, "kinks", competing
Given no money constraints and pain receptions, what body modification would you have done?
You want an honest answer? Possibly liposuction. But really, just get rid of half my body fat and fit my skin to match and I would be pretty darn content. I'm not into tattoos or piercings enough to seriously consider any for myself. : |
What's your least favorite body part?
Quick answer--genitals. Otherwise... I don't believe I have anything I dislike or as easily repulsed by (man or woman).
Do you prefer Summer or Winter, and why?
Winter. I hate being hot and its easier for me to compensate if I do feel too cold. And its a much better time for cuddling... which I want~.
What's the sexiest national clothing to you?
Clothes... this is a hard question because I don't have much of an interest in fashion. I just don't care, truly.
What's the best present you ever received?
Computers are pretty darn important, so I'll say those, even if only my grandfather gave me the majority of presents I ever received.
Favorite sport? How about your least favorite?
I like to watch tennis a lot actually (not that I often do though). I really don't care for football or wrestling though. It's hard to think of which I dislike more.
Can you chill in just your underwear, even around other people?
Easily actually, I do so a lot. But I dress in a bit more around less personal company (usually I'm left to myself on most days and I've answered the door in just boxers before, I don't do this intentionally though, it depends how harried I am). I dislike being totally bare though.
What's your favorite color of underwear?
I don't have one. Not fond of most reds and pink though.
What's the nicest place for hair to be on the body?
Not counting the head? Eh, I don't really care as long as its not too thick (not fond of beards or shag in general)
Do you have an inner-self that says all the horrible/perverted things you can't?
I would say no; I'm pretty much the same offline as I type hear. I just won't talk that much unless I choose to/feel up to it. I can be as honest as I need to be and generally speaking, I'm not that perverted, not compared to many other people I'm aware of.
Bye for now, people!
SH2
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Saccharine-Induced Headache
Maybe. It really hurts... okay its not the worst I've had but it won't... bloody... go... away; AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dammit I miss Jerod, like I miss him so much I wonder if that's part of why my head hurts. Possibly. The past few nights its hard to think of anything else because um, well I haven't heard from him in roughly 3 weeks now. Idk, it feels like ages. Y'know, when you get used to a daily habit and it just goes *poof*. No wonder people get so hooked on drugs, sort of. On one hand, I'm kind of glad he's not coming on to me right now... I am in no position to refuse, well, at least if the pain stops entirely first. And of course I'm not really looking for any replacements either... I can hold out a while for people, its one of my better qualities, I am patient. I also am a big procrastinator anyway, kinda need to be patient... with myself, lol.
I think I am way overstressed for a person who actually does so little. You could say its the fervor and depth of what little I do that is so draining on my physique and psyche that yeah, I do tire easily for a person not doing much. I have some stamina but boy does it get wracked on a daily basis. The emotional torment I have to endure every damn time my grandfather talks about my weight and appearance with utterly no tact, it could break a lesser man. I don't hate him, I hate how he chooses to express himself with such crass and biggotry. And do not talk to me about his personal health which seems to be failing him lately. Pot calling kettles black is what he's amounting to, pretty much.
It's not even him that's the sole cause of my stress. I was utterly livid when I read a comment on the aesthetic design of a fictional character where some Imbecile called out a character on having "nigger lips" (direct quote) and that being unappealing to that commentator. Oh my loving God, someone, SMITE this person. Please? Pretty please? I would be eternally grateful. You don't say such stupid things, AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *headdesk*
Small update: pain's a little less significant at the moment, venting might be helping pass the time of recovery.
In other news, I am having way too much enjoyment picking up Exit Fate and raising most of the army's levels to obscene numbers. I don't think you can feasibly hit lv99 without excessive grinding (to the simple point of tedious) but dang if it isn't fun getting everyone up to 85+ (which is all you need to finish everything including the completely optional content). I really like running theme parties based on the relation boosts (which is why Daniel works so well with Jovian and Angel) but its hard to get a diverse party with significant boosts as many mages favor other mages and you really don't need more than two (or one if their really solid like Midian, Myst or Mai) dedicated spell-slingers on your team; and warriors tend to enjoy each others' company; that said, a Matrech-themed group of Erin, Jasper, Carson, Merrick, Charles Ryan and Beau is very sound and balanced even if its hard to determine who to place up front with Erin (probably Merrick, second best physical defense of them which is all that matters for people in the vanguard). I wish the game had a few more female characters though, I don't like the ratio even if people are namby-pamby about women in combat, hey their are plenty of women in the armed forces nowdays, you're allowed to cast them in fictional combat, too! Stupid sexist imbeciles. Every straight male is such a spineless scrod around the concept of female dominance, and people wonder why I prefer homo/bisexual friends to converse with. They aren't following all your nonsensical rules. Rules that prevent people that love each other from being treated as humanely and justly (as in, with equal rights and privileges) as everyone else ARE ASININE. Now I don't mean you should be allowed to marry any little thing, but two consenting adults should be entitled as long as they are clearly in sound mind and intent.
Oh, right. IF you like a man or woman, then it does not matter what's going on downstairs. You either like men, women, both, or none at all. It's that simple. TRANS MEN ARE MEN. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. Never think you are suddenly straight, bi or pan because you, a primarily gay male, thought a trans man was hot. He's a MAN you IMBECILE! (obviously this was bugging me a lot because some loser dared suggest they were anything but gay when they found a guy they were attracted to wasn't always a guy on the outside; it's what's inside that matters! ugh, I hate shallow people, so, SO much!)
I'll share with you another sweet dream, next night.
(Vampire Knight 4 Lyfe; YUS!!!)
Dammit I miss Jerod, like I miss him so much I wonder if that's part of why my head hurts. Possibly. The past few nights its hard to think of anything else because um, well I haven't heard from him in roughly 3 weeks now. Idk, it feels like ages. Y'know, when you get used to a daily habit and it just goes *poof*. No wonder people get so hooked on drugs, sort of. On one hand, I'm kind of glad he's not coming on to me right now... I am in no position to refuse, well, at least if the pain stops entirely first. And of course I'm not really looking for any replacements either... I can hold out a while for people, its one of my better qualities, I am patient. I also am a big procrastinator anyway, kinda need to be patient... with myself, lol.
I think I am way overstressed for a person who actually does so little. You could say its the fervor and depth of what little I do that is so draining on my physique and psyche that yeah, I do tire easily for a person not doing much. I have some stamina but boy does it get wracked on a daily basis. The emotional torment I have to endure every damn time my grandfather talks about my weight and appearance with utterly no tact, it could break a lesser man. I don't hate him, I hate how he chooses to express himself with such crass and biggotry. And do not talk to me about his personal health which seems to be failing him lately. Pot calling kettles black is what he's amounting to, pretty much.
It's not even him that's the sole cause of my stress. I was utterly livid when I read a comment on the aesthetic design of a fictional character where some Imbecile called out a character on having "nigger lips" (direct quote) and that being unappealing to that commentator. Oh my loving God, someone, SMITE this person. Please? Pretty please? I would be eternally grateful. You don't say such stupid things, AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *headdesk*
Small update: pain's a little less significant at the moment, venting might be helping pass the time of recovery.
In other news, I am having way too much enjoyment picking up Exit Fate and raising most of the army's levels to obscene numbers. I don't think you can feasibly hit lv99 without excessive grinding (to the simple point of tedious) but dang if it isn't fun getting everyone up to 85+ (which is all you need to finish everything including the completely optional content). I really like running theme parties based on the relation boosts (which is why Daniel works so well with Jovian and Angel) but its hard to get a diverse party with significant boosts as many mages favor other mages and you really don't need more than two (or one if their really solid like Midian, Myst or Mai) dedicated spell-slingers on your team; and warriors tend to enjoy each others' company; that said, a Matrech-themed group of Erin, Jasper, Carson, Merrick, Charles Ryan and Beau is very sound and balanced even if its hard to determine who to place up front with Erin (probably Merrick, second best physical defense of them which is all that matters for people in the vanguard). I wish the game had a few more female characters though, I don't like the ratio even if people are namby-pamby about women in combat, hey their are plenty of women in the armed forces nowdays, you're allowed to cast them in fictional combat, too! Stupid sexist imbeciles. Every straight male is such a spineless scrod around the concept of female dominance, and people wonder why I prefer homo/bisexual friends to converse with. They aren't following all your nonsensical rules. Rules that prevent people that love each other from being treated as humanely and justly (as in, with equal rights and privileges) as everyone else ARE ASININE. Now I don't mean you should be allowed to marry any little thing, but two consenting adults should be entitled as long as they are clearly in sound mind and intent.
Oh, right. IF you like a man or woman, then it does not matter what's going on downstairs. You either like men, women, both, or none at all. It's that simple. TRANS MEN ARE MEN. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. Never think you are suddenly straight, bi or pan because you, a primarily gay male, thought a trans man was hot. He's a MAN you IMBECILE! (obviously this was bugging me a lot because some loser dared suggest they were anything but gay when they found a guy they were attracted to wasn't always a guy on the outside; it's what's inside that matters! ugh, I hate shallow people, so, SO much!)
I'll share with you another sweet dream, next night.
(Vampire Knight 4 Lyfe; YUS!!!)
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Absolute Truths (may contain contradictions)
-cannot stand the slash pairing of Emmeryn/Gangrel; totally copacetic with Emmeryn/Aversa
-Vaike/everyone is personal head-canon; Male Robin/all males also works
-everyone who states they'd be okay with Chrom/Lissa should just go sleep with their own sibling already
-does not like being fat; perfectly fine with concept of male pregnancy
-would utterly break all your teeth if self (re: me) were impregnated
-everyone who likes RPGs should play Exit Fate... Now.
-would be fine with just a single, particular order of chinese cuisine (tends to re-order same takeout a lot), water, and raw broccolli everyday for the rest of life
-now honestly considering the above statement
-more people need to be open to frot/scissoring (same concept really)
-you want to know what I want? just an honest, hard-working (strongly preferred) male who doesn't smoke, nor uses drugs and is employed; why is that SO HARD for some of you!? (hah, pun... unintended at first)
-truth is, most lesbians are fine by me, I just get bored very quickly trying to watch them do it; I can watch most straight porn if dick is prominent in 75% of the shots
-yet, I don't really like dick photos... or most art of them if they're too realistic... honestly gross
-needs more ass, preferably tight arse
-stop equating sex parts to food items, people; if you're that hungry, go loving eat already!
-needs more virgins in their 30s (where I'm likely headed, lawl)
-you know what's stupid? people barking like a dog; if you do, I'm slapping a collar on you and getting your shots, 'k?
-wishes I could stop ranting so much
-realizes I probably won't, because I care too much
-more of you need to recognize how rare a person that cares as much as I is and loving get with the program already!
-seriously, stretch your bum and think about having someone as warm and tender and utterly lovely as I as a part of you... sometimes I'm amazed I'm not swarming in offers
-gets flustered easily from too much attention; still really shy
-definitely a top, gentle, but a top, beyond any reasonable doubt
Hmm... that's better~. Yay, venting! Later, anons.
-Vaike/everyone is personal head-canon; Male Robin/all males also works
-everyone who states they'd be okay with Chrom/Lissa should just go sleep with their own sibling already
-does not like being fat; perfectly fine with concept of male pregnancy
-would utterly break all your teeth if self (re: me) were impregnated
-everyone who likes RPGs should play Exit Fate... Now.
-would be fine with just a single, particular order of chinese cuisine (tends to re-order same takeout a lot), water, and raw broccolli everyday for the rest of life
-now honestly considering the above statement
-more people need to be open to frot/scissoring (same concept really)
-you want to know what I want? just an honest, hard-working (strongly preferred) male who doesn't smoke, nor uses drugs and is employed; why is that SO HARD for some of you!? (hah, pun... unintended at first)
-truth is, most lesbians are fine by me, I just get bored very quickly trying to watch them do it; I can watch most straight porn if dick is prominent in 75% of the shots
-yet, I don't really like dick photos... or most art of them if they're too realistic... honestly gross
-needs more ass, preferably tight arse
-stop equating sex parts to food items, people; if you're that hungry, go loving eat already!
-needs more virgins in their 30s (where I'm likely headed, lawl)
-you know what's stupid? people barking like a dog; if you do, I'm slapping a collar on you and getting your shots, 'k?
-wishes I could stop ranting so much
-realizes I probably won't, because I care too much
-more of you need to recognize how rare a person that cares as much as I is and loving get with the program already!
-seriously, stretch your bum and think about having someone as warm and tender and utterly lovely as I as a part of you... sometimes I'm amazed I'm not swarming in offers
-gets flustered easily from too much attention; still really shy
-definitely a top, gentle, but a top, beyond any reasonable doubt
Hmm... that's better~. Yay, venting! Later, anons.
Friday, August 23, 2013
A Completely Necessary and Totally Nonsencial Table of Acceptable Weight Ranges
Yes, that title is also completely, necessarily long. Deal with it.
Fact 1: Being overweight is not unhealthy, so long as you are not overfat. (ask your medical doctor or dietician, if you're seeing one, for confirmation on healthy fat ranges which are % based of your total weight)
Fact 2: Your weight has to account for water, bones, muscle fibers and fat. In that precise order, that is what primarily composes your total weight.
Fact 3: Obese is being defined as having enough weight that your risk level for heart and circulatory problems increase to a degree. How much so and how much weight you truly can bare is completely up to your family's medical history.
Okay, so with those things out of the way, on to the very simple table. This table assumes that one is at least 23 years old, after which one would be approximately 97% complete with their physical growth. (In other words, when you truly cease getting taller)
Men Women
Height Lbs Height Lbs
6'8" 267 6'5" 223
6'7" 260 6'4" 216
6'6" 253 6'3" 210
6'5" 246 6'2" 204
6'4" 239 6'1" 198
6'3" 232 6'0" 192
6'2" 225 5'11" 186
6'1" 218 5'10" 180
6'0" 211 5'9" 174
5'11" 204 5'8" 168
5'10" 197 5'7" 163
5'9" 190 5'6" 158
5'8" 183 5'5" 153
5'7" 176 5'4" 148
5'6" 169 5'3" 143
5'5" 162 5'2" 138
5'4" 155 5'1" 133
5'3 148 5'0" 128
5'2" 141 4'11" 123
5'1" 134 4'10" 118
Alright, now if you look up all of those according to the BMI (body mass index) bylaws, most of these will register as overweight or close, or even normal. As I said, these weights are nonsense yet acceptable. In other words, its pretty much my personal bias (I prefer hefty but healthy people). On the other hand, the majority are also completely reasonable and certainly not out-of-the-question. For the really critical though, I'd say you could feasibly be between 16 lbs lighter and 20 lbs heavier for each target and still be fine. Convert to metric if you must.
Fact 1: Being overweight is not unhealthy, so long as you are not overfat. (ask your medical doctor or dietician, if you're seeing one, for confirmation on healthy fat ranges which are % based of your total weight)
Fact 2: Your weight has to account for water, bones, muscle fibers and fat. In that precise order, that is what primarily composes your total weight.
Fact 3: Obese is being defined as having enough weight that your risk level for heart and circulatory problems increase to a degree. How much so and how much weight you truly can bare is completely up to your family's medical history.
Okay, so with those things out of the way, on to the very simple table. This table assumes that one is at least 23 years old, after which one would be approximately 97% complete with their physical growth. (In other words, when you truly cease getting taller)
Men Women
Height Lbs Height Lbs
6'8" 267 6'5" 223
6'7" 260 6'4" 216
6'6" 253 6'3" 210
6'5" 246 6'2" 204
6'4" 239 6'1" 198
6'3" 232 6'0" 192
6'2" 225 5'11" 186
6'1" 218 5'10" 180
6'0" 211 5'9" 174
5'11" 204 5'8" 168
5'10" 197 5'7" 163
5'9" 190 5'6" 158
5'8" 183 5'5" 153
5'7" 176 5'4" 148
5'6" 169 5'3" 143
5'5" 162 5'2" 138
5'4" 155 5'1" 133
5'3 148 5'0" 128
5'2" 141 4'11" 123
5'1" 134 4'10" 118
Alright, now if you look up all of those according to the BMI (body mass index) bylaws, most of these will register as overweight or close, or even normal. As I said, these weights are nonsense yet acceptable. In other words, its pretty much my personal bias (I prefer hefty but healthy people). On the other hand, the majority are also completely reasonable and certainly not out-of-the-question. For the really critical though, I'd say you could feasibly be between 16 lbs lighter and 20 lbs heavier for each target and still be fine. Convert to metric if you must.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Stuff (An Update)
If you want to call it that.
Anyway, Jer is still awesome (I mean c'mon, I'm not really a person who changes their opinions that quickly on others). But damn does he have terrible luck. Like I partially want to just lock him away so shit stops happening to trouble him, lol, something like that. I mean I am not a pet person so that idea is rather moot. And he wouldn't agree to that, lest I locked myself away with him, lol, then maybe xD.
Tumblr is such a time-sink, forget tvtropes. Its like Blogger but on massive roids, and way more likely to invoke triggers because people are dumb as dirt on there.
I see so many cases of reverse racism that it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Hell, no, its just racism. Whether you're white, black, red, blue, green or shining gold; if a third of your personal rants revolve around complaining about a group of people that boils down to "color-of-person_word-for-person", then by Jove, do you have loads of free time! And what a waste of time and energy you're expending to inform the masses of your exceedingly asinine views and simply foolish tangents ping-ponging around your cranium.
Allow me to enlighten you. First black guy I ever thought was attractive was pretty average looking, toned but kind of thin, and his equipment was pretty much average (like 6 or 7 in, which is not unreasonable). Why did I like him? Well, just the way he carried his self. I won't lie that this was in a porno so meh, it just does make me mad people assume white men just want someone for their dick, especially generalizing that's their reason for being attracted to dark skinned people. ESPECIALLY because I prefer ass. There. Race doesn't matter. It's having a nice trunk and confidence, and not being a total moron that matters most to me. Hell, I generally like people who seem smart and aren't afraid to show their emotions, their weaknesses, so that I can hopefully make them feel more understood, more normal, more loved.
Not to mention, I do not want to bottom, well, very rarely, and only for some people. Like my one friend, he's okay and all even if he acts really stupid a lot and he's also a top; still, I'd NEVER bottom for him because he's too selfish. I mean whenever I'd hypothetically bring up sleeping with him, that jackass would constantly insist I'd bottom for him first. Makes me irrate. And I refuse to acknowledge people who make me that mad. So, no spooning with him, ever.
You want to turn me on? Dick won't do it. Ass helps, but its really just how you express yourself that I care about. I'd rather have sex with someone who actually appears to be in love and happy and longing to be with me than someone who is confident but not a douche. I'm really more of a sentimental person when it boils down to it... so all the hate and suspicion so many people harbor truly depresses me. : |
Few months ago I tried to both greet someone who was on my contact/friend list on a site and say I thought they were cute, and even added that I'm not really looking for sex, that what I said above is more the sort of guy I am. And they responded by calling me a creep AND blocking me, not even letting me try to apologize for upsetting them : [. It's not like I even hit on them; I really can't understand his thought process at all.
I try talking to Jer at times lately, and well, I wish I could always be in a good conversation-crafting mood. Mostly its just a quick exchange. Which honestly is okay, I hope. I don't want him to feel unloved because... its a terrible feeling. I would know.
Anyway, Jer is still awesome (I mean c'mon, I'm not really a person who changes their opinions that quickly on others). But damn does he have terrible luck. Like I partially want to just lock him away so shit stops happening to trouble him, lol, something like that. I mean I am not a pet person so that idea is rather moot. And he wouldn't agree to that, lest I locked myself away with him, lol, then maybe xD.
Tumblr is such a time-sink, forget tvtropes. Its like Blogger but on massive roids, and way more likely to invoke triggers because people are dumb as dirt on there.
I see so many cases of reverse racism that it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Hell, no, its just racism. Whether you're white, black, red, blue, green or shining gold; if a third of your personal rants revolve around complaining about a group of people that boils down to "color-of-person_word-for-person", then by Jove, do you have loads of free time! And what a waste of time and energy you're expending to inform the masses of your exceedingly asinine views and simply foolish tangents ping-ponging around your cranium.
Allow me to enlighten you. First black guy I ever thought was attractive was pretty average looking, toned but kind of thin, and his equipment was pretty much average (like 6 or 7 in, which is not unreasonable). Why did I like him? Well, just the way he carried his self. I won't lie that this was in a porno so meh, it just does make me mad people assume white men just want someone for their dick, especially generalizing that's their reason for being attracted to dark skinned people. ESPECIALLY because I prefer ass. There. Race doesn't matter. It's having a nice trunk and confidence, and not being a total moron that matters most to me. Hell, I generally like people who seem smart and aren't afraid to show their emotions, their weaknesses, so that I can hopefully make them feel more understood, more normal, more loved.
Not to mention, I do not want to bottom, well, very rarely, and only for some people. Like my one friend, he's okay and all even if he acts really stupid a lot and he's also a top; still, I'd NEVER bottom for him because he's too selfish. I mean whenever I'd hypothetically bring up sleeping with him, that jackass would constantly insist I'd bottom for him first. Makes me irrate. And I refuse to acknowledge people who make me that mad. So, no spooning with him, ever.
You want to turn me on? Dick won't do it. Ass helps, but its really just how you express yourself that I care about. I'd rather have sex with someone who actually appears to be in love and happy and longing to be with me than someone who is confident but not a douche. I'm really more of a sentimental person when it boils down to it... so all the hate and suspicion so many people harbor truly depresses me. : |
Few months ago I tried to both greet someone who was on my contact/friend list on a site and say I thought they were cute, and even added that I'm not really looking for sex, that what I said above is more the sort of guy I am. And they responded by calling me a creep AND blocking me, not even letting me try to apologize for upsetting them : [. It's not like I even hit on them; I really can't understand his thought process at all.
I try talking to Jer at times lately, and well, I wish I could always be in a good conversation-crafting mood. Mostly its just a quick exchange. Which honestly is okay, I hope. I don't want him to feel unloved because... its a terrible feeling. I would know.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
The Expected and Unexpected
Welp, long story short, the last two weeks have been rather... strange. In that, a lot of unexpected things have happened and a few expected ones, too.
The Expected:
-SSI Appeal officially turned down; re-filing ensues (this is just a big headache because I'm only doing this to keep the only insurance I got, which requires me to file for SSI in order to qualify; it's convoluted as all heck)
-found a fun game to play which re-ignited my general interest in making a game of similar quality (probably won't seriously advance on mine too soon though); admittedly only semi-expected, lol
The Unexpected:
-apparently I have a boyfriend now, met online like my last official one (that is, counting people I have or strongly plan to meet/see in person)
And... it's the unexpected I really ought to talk about now. Dis guy... just, dis guy!! He's like, practically everything I want from looks (cute as all get out), his ethnicity (okay, I always have thought dark skinned people were awesome, this I can't honestly deny), his energy (which is up there, a plus because I often need coaxing or just a counterbalance) and besides all that he's sensitive and caring enough that you just want to be with him a lot of the time since he's really sweet. But not only that, but he very recently admitted he feels he does love me, ME of all people, and says that its because he feels that I truly care about him (of course I do, I care easily for people who don't say stupid/jerkish stuff, lolol). So, dang, I guess I have my work cut out for me. Got to get myself to up and see him (he's not that far away, lives in my state). Of course, I do like him a lot, I think I'm ready to love again, I mean, I did wait what, 4 years basically?
I just want to commit, because I'm so ready. I know we can get along because we talk almost everyday and he doesn't really make me feel unwanted. So, I'm hoping it all turns out well. Jerod, if you're reading this, know that I not only have been moved by your kindness, heck, your everything, but that I really want to stay with you as long as you need. I know it'll still be a bit before I can physically act on all I've said, but I TRULY INTEND to make good on 95% of my word. (I leave 5% for error because c'mon, nobody's perfect). I wish I could refer you to the last guy I ever dated in earnest, just because the proof's there. We had met in February but finally saw one another in person on his birthday in May. That was my first kiss I then had with a man. ^_^ While him and I did get distanced sometime thereafter, I also want you to know, I will ALWAYS care about you, even if something should ever happen to us, too. Of course, I will hope only for good things but hey, you gotta do what feels right to you. I know I really like ya. I know you really care for me, so here's to good tidings ahead. *clinks glass* xD
Other than Jer rocking my world over the past week, not a whole lot else been happening. I was... a bit unsure of how he'd even react to me deciding to message him afore, at which point I resolved to tell him I did think he was cute; it's just, far too many nice-looking people can be really self-absorbed or just rude to people who, simply put, are just kinda plain (such as myself). But he wasn't... I just want to reward his kindness with my body, mind and soul because he honestly earned it by matching my uncommon kindness with his own. I'm so moved, I'm seriously not even thinking about past fixations like Casey, or Joshua, or other people. I haven't felt this way in YEARS! -peace, out
The Expected:
-SSI Appeal officially turned down; re-filing ensues (this is just a big headache because I'm only doing this to keep the only insurance I got, which requires me to file for SSI in order to qualify; it's convoluted as all heck)
-found a fun game to play which re-ignited my general interest in making a game of similar quality (probably won't seriously advance on mine too soon though); admittedly only semi-expected, lol
The Unexpected:
-apparently I have a boyfriend now, met online like my last official one (that is, counting people I have or strongly plan to meet/see in person)
And... it's the unexpected I really ought to talk about now. Dis guy... just, dis guy!! He's like, practically everything I want from looks (cute as all get out), his ethnicity (okay, I always have thought dark skinned people were awesome, this I can't honestly deny), his energy (which is up there, a plus because I often need coaxing or just a counterbalance) and besides all that he's sensitive and caring enough that you just want to be with him a lot of the time since he's really sweet. But not only that, but he very recently admitted he feels he does love me, ME of all people, and says that its because he feels that I truly care about him (of course I do, I care easily for people who don't say stupid/jerkish stuff, lolol). So, dang, I guess I have my work cut out for me. Got to get myself to up and see him (he's not that far away, lives in my state). Of course, I do like him a lot, I think I'm ready to love again, I mean, I did wait what, 4 years basically?
I just want to commit, because I'm so ready. I know we can get along because we talk almost everyday and he doesn't really make me feel unwanted. So, I'm hoping it all turns out well. Jerod, if you're reading this, know that I not only have been moved by your kindness, heck, your everything, but that I really want to stay with you as long as you need. I know it'll still be a bit before I can physically act on all I've said, but I TRULY INTEND to make good on 95% of my word. (I leave 5% for error because c'mon, nobody's perfect). I wish I could refer you to the last guy I ever dated in earnest, just because the proof's there. We had met in February but finally saw one another in person on his birthday in May. That was my first kiss I then had with a man. ^_^ While him and I did get distanced sometime thereafter, I also want you to know, I will ALWAYS care about you, even if something should ever happen to us, too. Of course, I will hope only for good things but hey, you gotta do what feels right to you. I know I really like ya. I know you really care for me, so here's to good tidings ahead. *clinks glass* xD
Other than Jer rocking my world over the past week, not a whole lot else been happening. I was... a bit unsure of how he'd even react to me deciding to message him afore, at which point I resolved to tell him I did think he was cute; it's just, far too many nice-looking people can be really self-absorbed or just rude to people who, simply put, are just kinda plain (such as myself). But he wasn't... I just want to reward his kindness with my body, mind and soul because he honestly earned it by matching my uncommon kindness with his own. I'm so moved, I'm seriously not even thinking about past fixations like Casey, or Joshua, or other people. I haven't felt this way in YEARS! -peace, out
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Random Survey I found on Tumblr
Why the heck not?
1. What is your middle name?
James
2. Are you wearing makeup?
I'm not currently doing a stage play, so no.
3. What colour is your toothbrush?
It's green, white and blue.
4. Approximately how many posters are hung up in your room?
Less than 3.
5. What does your hair product smell like?
I don't smell my shampoo unless it reeks enough.
6. Where would rather be right now?
In your ass. (unless you're a chick, okay but really, I don't care about "where" I am or want to be much)
7. What is the temperature outside?
about 70 degrees Fahrenheit
8. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what colour?
yes, Orange
9. What is the funniest word you know?
I don't know... (I don't usually find words funny)
10. Name your favourite band starting with the letter 'M'
Magnum Opus
11. What is your favourite pick up line? And has anyone ever used it on you?
Oh crap... *thinks* It was something like, "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs; so gimme sex!" yes it's really lame and goofy and creepy but so what? at least it's honest
12. Describe your first icon using only verbs
I don't understand this question...
13. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought with your own money?
my Xbox360, which alone was $300 bucks; most of my stuff is gifts
14. State your favourite letter of the alphabet
it's K
15. What is your favourite accent?
I like most accents, really
16. How did you celebrate the new year?
I haven't for quite a while and probably won't until I'm in a relationship
17. What do you call a brown fizzy drink that usually comes in a can?
... I say, "why's this shit brown? it's supposed to be darker!"
18. Do you like fish?
Sure do
19. What is your most used tag?
I don't use tags much
20. Would you rather ask someone out or be asked out?
I'd rather be asked out
21. What is your favourite Olympic sport to watch?
Gymnastics are cool I guess; but usually I don't watch them
22. Have you ever dumped anyone?
hmmm... not technically
23. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I still don't know, in honest, I just want a family, a simple job that I can come home from most evenings, or w/e
24. Have you ever been to the United States? If so, where?
I reside in the US, I've been in a few different states but mostly stay in Pennsylvania a lot
25. What instrument have you always wanted to play?
I know how to play the Oboe and a few others; I wish I could play the piano better
26. Describe your dream partner's eye colour
I like green eyes most, I guess, but I don't care
27. What do you order at diners?
usually pasta dishes
28. Coffee or espressos?
I hate them both equally
29. What is the most annoying song on the radio at the moment?
wouldn't know, I don't listen to the radio much
30. How many contacts do you have on your phone?
I don't own a mobile phone
31. What type of music player do you own?
since most are broken, my PC is the closest thing
32. Describe your favourite painting
I like um, drawings more than paintings, usually of people/characters
33. What was the best present you have ever received?
I guess some computers I've used
34. Spring or Fall? Why?
Fall, because Summer is over and not approaching (I hate heat)
35. What was the last text you received? Who was it from?
I don't remember the last text; but my last IM was a friend sharing a random fact/meme pic and saying good night
36. Would you ever paint your room pink?
No
37. What colour is your underwear?
most of my underwear is navy blue
38. Favourite perfume scent?
don't like perfume/not around enough to know
39. What celebrity do you think needs to drop off a cliff?
don't really care much, but if Lady Gaga did, most people would think it's the greatest thing ever (just because it's her diving or w/e; I'm not being a jerk here)
40. Do blue eyes turn you on?
Well, Tyler W. from TheSpeedGamers does have really gorgeous eyes, so I suppose they can
41. What meat do you prefer in a sandwich?
my favorite sandwich is a BLT, but I usually eat tuna submarine sandwiches lately
42. Would you ever wear a sweater to school?
I have several times
43. What is the name of your current ringtone?
don't have one; my preference is toward Chopin's Funeral March
44. Glasses or contacts?
glasses
45. What shoes do you normally wear to school?
I usually wore sneakers, white, but black in the last year or two
46. Where is your nearest television?
it's about 3 feet away from my PC, in my room, where I currently am
47. What is your favourite vegetable?
I really like edamame in stir-fry, otherwise, broccoli, raw please
48. When was the last time you drank milk?
yesterday, I drink milk almost daily
49. What was your lowest grade in school?
for a yearly grade, I think I got a 49 in German III during senior year, I really didn't like the teacher, and some other issues that were going on
50. Are you using Google chrome?
no, I use Firefox
1. What is your middle name?
James
2. Are you wearing makeup?
I'm not currently doing a stage play, so no.
3. What colour is your toothbrush?
It's green, white and blue.
4. Approximately how many posters are hung up in your room?
Less than 3.
5. What does your hair product smell like?
I don't smell my shampoo unless it reeks enough.
6. Where would rather be right now?
In your ass. (unless you're a chick, okay but really, I don't care about "where" I am or want to be much)
7. What is the temperature outside?
about 70 degrees Fahrenheit
8. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what colour?
yes, Orange
9. What is the funniest word you know?
I don't know... (I don't usually find words funny)
10. Name your favourite band starting with the letter 'M'
Magnum Opus
11. What is your favourite pick up line? And has anyone ever used it on you?
Oh crap... *thinks* It was something like, "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs; so gimme sex!" yes it's really lame and goofy and creepy but so what? at least it's honest
12. Describe your first icon using only verbs
I don't understand this question...
13. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought with your own money?
my Xbox360, which alone was $300 bucks; most of my stuff is gifts
14. State your favourite letter of the alphabet
it's K
15. What is your favourite accent?
I like most accents, really
16. How did you celebrate the new year?
I haven't for quite a while and probably won't until I'm in a relationship
17. What do you call a brown fizzy drink that usually comes in a can?
... I say, "why's this shit brown? it's supposed to be darker!"
18. Do you like fish?
Sure do
19. What is your most used tag?
I don't use tags much
20. Would you rather ask someone out or be asked out?
I'd rather be asked out
21. What is your favourite Olympic sport to watch?
Gymnastics are cool I guess; but usually I don't watch them
22. Have you ever dumped anyone?
hmmm... not technically
23. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I still don't know, in honest, I just want a family, a simple job that I can come home from most evenings, or w/e
24. Have you ever been to the United States? If so, where?
I reside in the US, I've been in a few different states but mostly stay in Pennsylvania a lot
25. What instrument have you always wanted to play?
I know how to play the Oboe and a few others; I wish I could play the piano better
26. Describe your dream partner's eye colour
I like green eyes most, I guess, but I don't care
27. What do you order at diners?
usually pasta dishes
28. Coffee or espressos?
I hate them both equally
29. What is the most annoying song on the radio at the moment?
wouldn't know, I don't listen to the radio much
30. How many contacts do you have on your phone?
I don't own a mobile phone
31. What type of music player do you own?
since most are broken, my PC is the closest thing
32. Describe your favourite painting
I like um, drawings more than paintings, usually of people/characters
33. What was the best present you have ever received?
I guess some computers I've used
34. Spring or Fall? Why?
Fall, because Summer is over and not approaching (I hate heat)
35. What was the last text you received? Who was it from?
I don't remember the last text; but my last IM was a friend sharing a random fact/meme pic and saying good night
36. Would you ever paint your room pink?
No
37. What colour is your underwear?
most of my underwear is navy blue
38. Favourite perfume scent?
don't like perfume/not around enough to know
39. What celebrity do you think needs to drop off a cliff?
don't really care much, but if Lady Gaga did, most people would think it's the greatest thing ever (just because it's her diving or w/e; I'm not being a jerk here)
40. Do blue eyes turn you on?
Well, Tyler W. from TheSpeedGamers does have really gorgeous eyes, so I suppose they can
41. What meat do you prefer in a sandwich?
my favorite sandwich is a BLT, but I usually eat tuna submarine sandwiches lately
42. Would you ever wear a sweater to school?
I have several times
43. What is the name of your current ringtone?
don't have one; my preference is toward Chopin's Funeral March
44. Glasses or contacts?
glasses
45. What shoes do you normally wear to school?
I usually wore sneakers, white, but black in the last year or two
46. Where is your nearest television?
it's about 3 feet away from my PC, in my room, where I currently am
47. What is your favourite vegetable?
I really like edamame in stir-fry, otherwise, broccoli, raw please
48. When was the last time you drank milk?
yesterday, I drink milk almost daily
49. What was your lowest grade in school?
for a yearly grade, I think I got a 49 in German III during senior year, I really didn't like the teacher, and some other issues that were going on
50. Are you using Google chrome?
no, I use Firefox
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