Hmm, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. Well, that's typical of me, isn't it?
The other day I was dining out in the afternoon and one gentlemen, who was probably in his late 40s, was seated at an adjacent table and speaking. I noticed his voice was so, well, soft and lucid like a more stereotypical homo/metrosexual you'd see in the media. It wasn't annoying though, I found it more serene and likable in comparison to other people I've heard with similar tones. Given the opportunity, I would tell the man that I found his voice to be beautiful. He somewhat resembles my 12th grade Economics teacher, not "hot" per se, but decent looking. Would I date such a man if asked? Yeah, if we got on with other interests and tastes, or at least enjoyed each others' company. I think it's nice to be attracted to qualities like voice or maybe just the way someone talks, it shows a slightly deeper level of appreciation.
I should say that I don't just like anyone's voice all the time, however. I find it incredibly rude to sing over a song you're listening to when others are listening to the same song. Specifically, Karaoke is well and fine, but when you have a song on that your friends or people don't get to listen to often--let them listen to it, for lord's sake! Plus my one friend tends to sing EVERY DAMN THING he listens to when I'm on the phone with him, even WHEN I'M TRYING TO TALK to him... it's so infuriating because it's supposed to be our time to converse and have time to listen and relax each other, not DRIVE ME INANE!!!! I want my friends to be friendly, not ungodly annoying, especially since I'm so patient and kind to them, hah, my rage mostly gets vented out when typing these blog posts~.
Another thing in my head as well has been regarding relationships in general. Okay, so I don't think the whole top/bottom thing is important outside sexual gratification. If you're in a relationship just for the sex, well obviously you're not too brilliant, at least in my opinion. You can have solid sex but crap everything else. Really, I don't want people to think too much of sleeping with me, I want them moreso to be happy with the idea of having my undivided attention, support and all-around positive influence throughout their days. I get offended when people ask me for my measurements and request to see such things because really... up yours! WHY is it such a big deal when *snort* most of what you can find isn't very big anyway? *snarky grin* That's my general opinion. I don't find cock to be very well, pleasing to look at, nor do I expect to much of the time. Next guy who asks to see mine who isn't either joking or seriously knows me for more than a year can get shot, as you're wasting my time with your insipid curiosity. There is such a thing as a healthy curiosity though, you can ask whatever you like but I will reserve my right to refuse to answer such degrading queries as, "how big is your gun?" F-ing stupid. Don't ask it unless you want me to say, "the real question is... how big is your ass and how relaxed is your gag reflex?". Seriously...
Ran off on a bit of a tangent there, but the point is that, getting to know people and find dating material is hard enough as it is for most of us, so please don't complicate things until you feel truly comfortable to the point where a meteor could fall on your house and it wouldn't phase you. Sex complicates things, which is why hookers, unfortunately, do exist. Because few of us are brave enough to accept the complications, so we look for the easy-way-out. Buncha pansies, the lot of you who follow it; whatever though, it's your money.
I also think its possible for a person to be gentle yet still firmly rooted, controlled, and cool. This is generally how I perceive myself. My grandfather thinks I'm mean and uptight over things but really, I'm by far one of the most easy-going people, ever. If you borrow my money or possessions, then I expect them returned in a timely fashion and in the same quality as when lent. My room is my own space, you want me to keep trash off the floor, hey, always done. You want to invade my personal space to watch my TV just because you're too lazy to hook up your own television? No dice. You have more than enough time in any day to take care of such things when all it takes is a simply assembly of cords that takes barely 5 minutes of effort and then a phonecall to the provider. I did this months ago and yet you (grandfather) still cannot find time to do something so simple, yet you obsess over half a sink-full of dishes and other chores? I realize the importance of upkeep, but your own entertainment is YOUR responsibility to provide. I pay my internet bills, thank you very much, good day~.
It's not like you're my lover or someone I naturally want to do things they would otherwise be perfectly able to do for themselves, y'know? I leave people to their business and things, the door is open if you have a reasonable request. Since he never wants to talk like a civil person much of the time, I don't bother him either. And really, it's all about personal space. I don't exactly have a considerably spacious sleeping location, so I don't want people I wouldn't want to be that close, in a physical sense, in here. Plus, my tv is mostly for ambiance, it provides a positive mood most of the day and I don't like his pessimistic, bigoted person around me more than it absolutely has to be. I take time out anyway to ask how he's doing and stuff and I ask for basically nothing except food, usually when he himself comes to ask me about such.
Overall, I'm pretty kind and docile I suppose would be fair words to my disposition. I don't talk a lot outside the 'net because I'm mostly thinking or reading or a combination of the two. I don't think it's fair to assume I'm strong in a physical sense just because I'm tall and bulky. I hate a lot of physical aggression, so I never play most sports voluntarily or try to lift/move heavy things much at all. This does not mean I'm timid, no, in fact I can get mad very easy and I do not tolerate disrespect nor ignorance very well. I suppose because I'm so romantic and often thinking of others before me that some people think I'm submissive. HAH! Those people are quite mistaken. Generally though, I'm all about sensuality and bringing as much possible happiness to others and no, I'm not shy about expressing it affectionately if necessary. Why? Because doing so makes me happy, it's just that simple. Stop over-thinking it, you're complicating things again, idiots!
I always want people to do their best. Even if you don't succeed, as long as you made an honest effort, I really can't be disappointed in you. This means that you think, but not over-think. It's hard for some people, I guess. Me, I think a lot, but my ideas shift a lot before I think too hard over stuff. Stuff bothers me, and boy does it ever, but I can still get over it when I really want to. That said, I want people to stop worrying about stuff. One person once said they had no desire of dealing with people with a lot of issues. You know what? It's their own fault, obviously they have their own doubts regarding their self that they are in no position to help anyone or get into a relationship even when they finally want to. You sir, are weak; be a man!
That'll do for now~. Later, whoever all reads this.
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