Show references asides, hmm, I'm just feeling "meh" of late. Not a bad "meh" but just a could-be-better "meh", and there's little I personally can do to actually make it be better. I consider myself a fairly stand-up individual; by that I mean, if I say I'll do something or are asked to do something, I'll do it. If I should not want to do it, I will indeed tell you "no" and proceed to not do it, too. While I don't expect everyone to really be as forthright, I do think people should try. So I'm a little disappointed. My "not-boyfriend" (you need to watch Season 3 of Buffy to get that reference...) asked me to call him last weekend (i.e. approximately 9 days before this post) and so I do. Happiness was had. While we're talking, he explains his lapse in communication of late (mainly due to work, you 9-5ers surely understand) and implies he wants to call me again in about a week from then. So, naturally I spent the last 3 days anticipating his return call (we had spoken for an hour and generally I don't detect much flakiness from him). He doesn't call. And so I'm left wondering if he's okay, if he just plumb forgot or what other shit is keeping him from calling me. I want to let you all know something very, Very important--THIS IS NOT OKAY!! I mean, dude! I just... is that any fair at all? I don't like people who don't pick up their damn slack. Relationships are built around trust which must be fortified CONSTANTLY by open communication. Look, we all have bad days, y'know? Why--WHY do you blockheads always insist on taking on everything alone!? Do you ever think that just maybe, idk, someone somewhere wants to be with you, that they want you even when you don't want yourself. If it's possible for your parents to put up with your life for at least 18 years, why is it so hard to let others put up with it for 1 or 2 hours out of 168(the # of hours in a week)? I just... want that much. I miss you, okay, a damned lot. And it's because I think I may finally be in the love I have been waiting for and denied most of my life from my own family and friends I've treated as such. I don't know. But I must be feeling something--tears are itching my eyes, lol. Ah, it's not like a show of waterworks or anything. I just don't like feeling forgotten, I doubt I ever will handle it well.
I guess I found one thing that will push my patience with this one though, hah! I don't really pick much on people's flaws but I can surely notice and accept them. Being forgetful isn't that bad (hey, he told me his day-to-day memory sucks). I'm more likely to worry about people because I more easily put other's well-being before my own. And sometimes I neglect myself. Just like, I'm not assed to be "clean" as much as most people would probably agree with. But that doesn't mean I also have poor manners or messy habits--I don't. I'm often complimented with how polite I am towards people, as a matter of fact. And it's not something I really need to think about, I just am honest with people. If you don't act like a moron or amoeba of a person, then I will probably treat you with due congeniality. I'm quick to offend but just as quick to get over it or compromise. I don't like to show immediately when things bother me, I have to let them fester and nag at me until I am drawn to tears over it, in general. But usually I will feel much better after finally letting it out--and I do have a lot to let out~. So that explains this blog, doesn't it? xD
I'm not actually mad at him at all, y'know? I'm just lonely, pretty much. I like having other people to spend time with so I can focus on them and their needs, and through them, also work out my own issues. It sounds fair to me, I just wish others would do so, too. I like being noticed if mostly because, most people ignore me, lol. If people did, they'd probably be less uptight about everything though! Since I'm so honest with people, my hope is that they can be put at ease, y'know? I don't care so much about what all happened to you in your life--you're still a person on this plane of reality, just like me. Why shouldn't I care about you if, at the simplest level, you're me and so by caring for you, I'm able to care more about myself? And just look at dis face...
Anywho, let's turn off the stupidly awesome highway of my mind a moment and discuss the awesome phenomena of Next Food Network Star, 'kay? Because cooking is win, duh!
This is the uh, 8th season of it I think. Most know how epic Guy is (Fieri, who else?) but hey, the 1st season had a couple win, two gay dudes no less! Now that's truly a rarity but I can dig it, of course. It's certainly an interesting idea, though I'm not really big on entertaining (which was their show's theme). Amy Finnely (or w/e) I like as a person but French cooking isn't really a big draw for me (my favorite cuisines tend to be Italian, Spanish/Mexican or Asian--particularly Chinese/Japanese dishes). Next was Aaron and he's a rather cool dude (certainly nice to look at). And I tend to like people with a strong sense of family values--they're often good people (but not always--just watch some of the (fictional) characters on Law & Order: SVU). Melissa was next I think; I do watch her show as often as I'm able although I don't think I get much from it; I think she's a nice lady and that alone makes me want to watch her cook, in general. Aarti's certainly awesome and you don't see Indian cuisine mentioned much on American TV, 's all good. Jeff is probably the main winner I'm most indifferent towards. He's okay and all but eh--I don't feel much draw towards him, y'know?
So, people I like this season. Probably the most of any season so far! Michele, Judson, Malcolm, Ippy and Emily are my favorites. Of the currently remaining finalists, Nikki is my least favorite. Sure she has a POV and seems to be able to cook well but--asides being a fervently passionate female grill-est (loves to utilize the grill, I mean), I don't really get anything from her. And I think she uses too much makeup, just my opinion though. Although she has proven cooking ability, I just don't like her, she'd have been the first to go if it was all going by solo ability and I was prosecuting. I'm pulling emotionally for Judson to do better and Michele, too. Both have been slipping and they just seem like such likable people, it sucks to watch them flounder the way they have been recently--because they both started on good notes and I, personally, picked them out first as ones I would like to watch, should they manage to win (hence why they're listed 1st). Of the finalists who are currently remaining (they've already nixed four), I wouldn't mind if Justin or Martie won. I'm not especially drawn to the others (Linkie, Yvan, Martita) but, I'm pretty much fine with anyone except Nikki as it stands now. If I should manage to see some personal growth from her, I could change my opinion, maybe.
Take care, whoever reads this~. Laters! ♥
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