Rambling...

I think some kind of bird has a name similar to the word... was it brambling?  Maybe not.

Buhh.... why do I miss him this much?  I mean I can easily go weeks, months without so much as a subconscious thought and then I get one dream that just vaguely hints at him still existing in my head and BAM!  He's near all I can think about when I stop trying to occupy myself with video game stuff.

Hmm, pokemon is still fun after all these years, despite me not really hyping it up as much as I did in my youth.  I like all the monsters--it's like people, everyone's different, with various "natures" and personality types as a result.  My friend recently compared me to a Togepi.  A personality test someone made did say I was most like a Togetic, lol, so I guess I don't mind much xD.  What would the guy on my mind most often of late be?  Possibly a Zubat... maybe a Tentacool?  Then again, he may be kinda big so perhaps a Teddiursa?  It does become Ursaring in time, afterall.  I should use Ursaring more often.  Currently I'm playing Drayano's totally awesome Fire Red Omega hack and I actually like the premise of being able to catch all the pokemon (well, all in gen III in this case) in a single game.  My favorite pokemon of each generation would probably be... Hypno, Umbreon, Milotic (pain to get), and I don't have a fave in gen IV yet, I only just started platinum a few months ago and of course I've yet to touch gen V, haha.

Gahh... and when I look through some of uh, "the stash" (yeah so I keep some of my preferred porn pics together, what man doesn't?), I can't help but wish I was with him and doing some of those things.  I mean this one gif of a guy doing his bottom while the bottom is spanking him lightly, in tandem with the grind... soooo hot, my god.  Fill my head, it does!  You know, mind with ideas.  I handle my arousal just fine, thank you very much :[.  He could handle it anytime, but apparently I make him explode so... all in moderation?  I guess this is just my general perviness, it's that sort of time of the month ;~;.

Is it possible I don't really want to put him behind me because I do still love him and genuinely want to know if he's happy or hell--if I can make him happy?  And not in the sexual, flirtatious way but because I long for his attention, his presence in general?  All possible, I guess.  I mean I know I was moved by his kindness and humor and gee, I think those are all I really need to sell me on liking someone.  It helps if they don't smoke and if we have some more things in common.  It helps even more if they aren't shallow pricks either and can accept someone not in wtf!impossible physical condition and just want them to be healthy even if they are healthy.  Those are all things I can give to people, too.  I would say he's done that for the most part.  I wonder if we could have a spark again... perhaps, but that's all I can say on it, realistically.

Casey is such a sweet name, isn't it?  It's not the most common or uncommon by most means and I can say the same about well, what I remember clearly about him.  Pfff, now I'm just fanboying, look at me.  I sorta wonder if I have any fans though, lol.  I'm sure if I were my own fan though, I'd wig myself a tiny bit.  But I mean well at least and I think I could see that.  I'm getting better at handling my words, I think.  Well, see yas!  ♥