Good Morning to You~

Well, it is the afternoon now that I'm getting around to making this entry, but so what?  I did have a decent morning.  As decent a morning as a single middle-class, full-bodied caucasian male of their low 20s can muster alone.  Heh, just thought of calling myself full bodied because I am overweight but not in a shameful manner.  Why should I feel less about myself just because I have a bloated stomach and full thighs and some underarm fat on my upper arms?  It's not oh, super appealing but its not really anything repulsive either, just kinda funny if you ask me.  And sometimes if you look at really muscular people, they look funny too.  Especially those who are so thick their veins pop out in places... but personally that grosses me out a bit.  So, in some ways I'm glad I'm not ripped.  Plus, I have no major health concerns barring my abnormally low good cholesterol (i.e. the kind of cholesterol that helps prevent heart diseases).  I could stand to exercise more but it really isn't fun nor motivating enough to do it on my own, so I don't get much activity in : /.  Yes, I would be at least 3 times more likely to go out/work out if someone close to me asked to.  No one's around so... yeah.  Am I okay with this?  Not really, but it's not like I can do anything to change it.  Just something I'm not willing to do alone.  And, wouldn't you feel better if your significant other was there by your side while you're running up a mountain?  Well, I would.  People don't get their good looks by doing nothing.  So the looks I manage to have, I will accept because I think I look okay.  Not great, not all around terrible, but okay.  C+.

This morning I treated myself to my usual sitcoms and some Looney Toons that were on here and there.  Family Matters, Boy Meets World, What I Like About You and Will & Grace were the various programs that made my morning.  Some of my lusts were appealed to by the first two titles in particular.  So on Family Matters, there was this one scene wherein Steve was laying on his stomach briefly, so his backside was up right?  Okay, so I was checking out his ass... Jaleel White does have a pretty fine derriere.  Given that he was probably nearing 20 in this episode (the actor), I don't consider my opinion inappropriate.  And I do really have a weakness for dark-skinned persons... ch'yeah.  It was a nicely shaped ass of an all around awesome black actor... nah, he was clothed in the scene asides.  The show was never too risque, being geared towards families.  And I like it that way.  The Boy Meets World episode consisted of some cross dressing for Cory and Shawn.  Personally, I really liked the first girl outfit that Cory(Ben Savage) donned, meaning, the way he looked in it appealed to me.  Simple and clean, just a nice evening dress, heels (unnecessary) and a simple shoulder-bob wig.  I like that (oh yeah, pantyhose too but details = blah).  He kinda looked like my one neighbor up the street that was in my graduating class, the way he was made up to look there.  I do mean this as a compliment.  Besides, I do like chicks with dicks... bwahaha. P:

So this one guy I do like a fair deal, yes?  I try talking to him, and try once again, all even though part of his nature does not agree well with me.  The guy admits he finds people "ugly" but yet won't honor those people by telling them so openly.  Yeah, I get the inkling he isn't too fond of my face with its fullness.  I just wish he would at least honor me with honesty and say, "well, you're not much of a looker," and maybe even follow it with, "but thanks for your nice words," or something like that.  I'm willing to give people chances.  He may be kinda shallow but I don't like him any less because of that fact.  I'm hoping he will give me other chances to prove I'm worth at least talking to.  I'd be happy if we could at least be friends because well... most of my gay friends hardly talk to me and I have more friends who are bi or straight than I do as gay as me (90%).  Hell, my most honorable friend (i.e. the one that puts the most effort, and this says a lot because they are not a very social individual) is pretty darn straight (good for him, vag repulses me, lolol).  I don't demand someone talk to me all the time but it ticks me off, I try to get one of my friends' attention (one such being a guy I do find rather attractive asides him being rather gay, a plus) and he does not respond much of the time.  I dunno if it's just all bad timing on my end but c'mon Wen... you're so cute and nice and... god can't I just say I enjoyed looking at some dude's ass today?  Why do I have to keep all the meager happy parts of my life to myself?  (Oh, I didn't mean to truly call you out when I wrote this, my friend, I just miss talking to you on a more active basis.  <3)  May seem odd to some people, but me, I feel this need to share things with other people, especially if its things I like and feel they can, too.  Then maybe hit on them, not because I'm lonely (but yeah, I am) but because sh*t, most of my friends are hot xP.

Not sure what else to say right this moment.  Some other stuff in my head but I'm trying not to be quite as rambling of late.  Later to ya'll special people that read this~.

Screw luck, I'm talking today...

Don't you just love Friday the 13ths?  I know I do :3.  Of course they tend to just be ordinary days for me, but so what?  I feel like talking today~.  About what?  Stuff, I suppose, what else?  You should know me better than that by now (if you read enough of my babble already).

I will admit that I don't like ugly people.  Particularly those who let their inner ugliness show, as feebly as they attempt to hide it behind their disgustingly attractive bodies.  It should be a crime to be so good looking and yet still have such self-absorbed opinions.  If I looked as good as some of these people, you know what?  I'd still be doing everything I can to make others feel as good as I'd happen to look.  Suffice to say, I don't care about my looks.  Long as I remain healthy and able, it's enough for me.  A little fat is well... cute.  Me?  Yeah, I'm overweight but it's not like I'm misshapen as, unfortunately, some persons end up as.  And I like my face, alright?  But I would never complain about other people being heavy.  I feel I'm pretty open to many different shapes (hey, remember one of my very first posts?  I find Sima Zhao and Yangus equally attractive) and it's never the size of one's stomach, waist, nor muscle definition but... the size of their heart.  Intimately, okay so it helps if you have a shtick, I prefer to look at it rather than weird flaps (for lack of better words).  However, I don't care how big of thighs you got... get what I'm saying?  Nice sex is well, still nice afterall.  One could be 100 or 300 lbs, if I'm really looking at you naked, it's because I already like what I've seen from your actions, emotions and other non-physical expressions.  If I didn't, I'd feel too uncomfortable looking at you naked (I'm quite shy despite my romantic tendencies and displays of affection) and would probably stumble over my words quite a bit.  It doesn't mean that you're bad looking or even too hot (which makes me even more embarrassed, quite honestly), it's just... I'm not ready to look at you that way because... I want it to be because I know you want it and value me enough that you got me naked first... or something to that extent.  I'm really hard to get out of my pants (I never sleep fully naked, lolol) so... you gotta be like dynamite to blow away all my humility.  It's why I like guys willing to have their egos lifted and show their self confidence, especially if they are morally rounded enough to admit that I've helped them to feel that way.  That's the biggest reward for me... helping others to reach their greatest possible selves.  Yeah, yeah... I'm weird xP.

I find it ironic yet oddly fitting that my birthmonth is the LGBT Pride Month in the United States of America (where I reside) and my birthday itself is an International Autistic Pride Day.  Yes, I am mostly gay and also partially autistic, go figure!  Nothing really else to say on that topic though, I just happen to be mildly amused by the fact :3.

More rambling a little later, can't really commit to more brain-picking at this moment.  See you soon~.