SH2

SH2

Saturday, July 20, 2013

The Expected and Unexpected

Welp, long story short, the last two weeks have been rather... strange.  In that, a lot of unexpected things have happened and a few expected ones, too.

The Expected:
-SSI Appeal officially turned down; re-filing ensues (this is just a big headache because I'm only doing this to keep the only insurance I got, which requires me to file for SSI in order to qualify; it's convoluted as all heck)
-found a fun game to play which re-ignited my general interest in making a game of similar quality (probably won't seriously advance on mine too soon though); admittedly only semi-expected, lol

The Unexpected:
-apparently I have a boyfriend now, met online like my last official one (that is, counting people I have or strongly plan to meet/see in person)

And... it's the unexpected I really ought to talk about now.  Dis guy... just, dis guy!!  He's like, practically everything I want from looks (cute as all get out), his ethnicity (okay, I always have thought dark skinned people were awesome, this I can't honestly deny), his energy (which is up there, a plus because I often need coaxing or just a counterbalance) and besides all that he's sensitive and caring enough that you just want to be with him a lot of the time since he's really sweet.  But not only that, but he very recently admitted he feels he does love me, ME of all people, and says that its because he feels that I truly care about him (of course I do, I care easily for people who don't say stupid/jerkish stuff, lolol).  So, dang, I guess I have my work cut out for me.  Got to get myself to up and see him (he's not that far away, lives in my state).  Of course, I do like him a lot, I think I'm ready to love again, I mean, I did wait what, 4 years basically?

I just want to commit, because I'm so ready.  I know we can get along because we talk almost everyday and he doesn't really make me feel unwanted.  So, I'm hoping it all turns out well.  Jerod, if you're reading this, know that I not only have been moved by your kindness, heck, your everything, but that I really want to stay with you as long as you need.  I know it'll still be a bit before I can physically act on all I've said, but I TRULY INTEND to make good on 95% of my word.  (I leave 5% for error because c'mon, nobody's perfect).  I wish I could refer you to the last guy I ever dated in earnest, just because the proof's there.  We had met in February but finally saw one another in person on his birthday in May.  That was my first kiss I then had with a man. ^_^  While him and I did get distanced sometime thereafter, I also want you to know, I will ALWAYS care about you, even if something should ever happen to us, too.  Of course, I will hope only for good things but hey, you gotta do what feels right to you.  I know I really like ya.  I know you really care for me, so here's to good tidings ahead. *clinks glass* xD

Other than Jer rocking my world over the past week, not a whole lot else been happening.  I was... a bit unsure of how he'd even react to me deciding to message him afore, at which point I resolved to tell him I did think he was cute; it's just, far too many nice-looking people can be really self-absorbed or just rude to people who, simply put, are just kinda plain (such as myself).  But he wasn't... I just want to reward his kindness with my body, mind and soul because he honestly earned it by matching my uncommon kindness with his own.  I'm so moved, I'm seriously not even thinking about past fixations like Casey, or Joshua, or other people.  I haven't felt this way in YEARS!                                                                   -peace, out

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