Saccharine-Induced Headache

Maybe.  It really hurts... okay its not the worst I've had but it won't... bloody... go... away; AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dammit I miss Jerod, like I miss him so much I wonder if that's part of why my head hurts.  Possibly.  The past few nights its hard to think of anything else because um, well I haven't heard from him in roughly 3 weeks now.  Idk, it feels like ages.  Y'know, when you get used to a daily habit and it just goes *poof*.  No wonder people get so hooked on drugs, sort of.  On one hand, I'm kind of glad he's not coming on to me right now... I am in no position to refuse, well, at least if the pain stops entirely first.  And of course I'm not really looking for any replacements either... I can hold out a while for people, its one of my better qualities, I am patient.  I also am a big procrastinator anyway, kinda need to be patient... with myself, lol.

I think I am way overstressed for a person who actually does so little.  You could say its the fervor and depth of what little I do that is so draining on my physique and psyche that yeah, I do tire easily for a person not doing much.  I have some stamina but boy does it get wracked on a daily basis.  The emotional torment I have to endure every damn time my grandfather talks about my weight and appearance with utterly no tact, it could break a lesser man.  I don't hate him, I hate how he chooses to express himself with such crass and biggotry.  And do not talk to me about his personal health which seems to be failing him lately.  Pot calling kettles black is what he's amounting to, pretty much.

It's not even him that's the sole cause of my stress.  I was utterly livid when I read a comment on the aesthetic design of a fictional character where some Imbecile called out a character on having "nigger lips" (direct quote) and that being unappealing to that commentator.  Oh my loving God, someone, SMITE this person.  Please?  Pretty please?  I would be eternally grateful.  You don't say such stupid things, AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  *headdesk*

Small update: pain's a little less significant at the moment, venting might be helping pass the time of recovery.

In other news, I am having way too much enjoyment picking up Exit Fate and raising most of the army's levels to obscene numbers.  I don't think you can feasibly hit lv99 without excessive grinding (to the simple point of tedious) but dang if it isn't fun getting everyone up to 85+ (which is all you need to finish everything including the completely optional content).  I really like running theme parties based on the relation boosts (which is why Daniel works so well with Jovian and Angel) but its hard to get a diverse party with significant boosts as many mages favor other mages and you really don't need more than two (or one if their really solid like Midian, Myst or Mai) dedicated spell-slingers on your team; and warriors tend to enjoy each others' company;  that said, a Matrech-themed group of Erin, Jasper, Carson, Merrick, Charles Ryan and Beau is very sound and balanced even if its hard to determine who to place up front with Erin (probably Merrick, second best physical defense of them which is all that matters for people in the vanguard).  I wish the game had a few more female characters though, I don't like the ratio even if people are namby-pamby about women in combat, hey their are plenty of women in the armed forces nowdays, you're allowed to cast them in fictional combat, too!  Stupid sexist imbeciles.  Every straight male is such a spineless scrod around the concept of female dominance, and people wonder why I prefer homo/bisexual friends to converse with.  They aren't following all your nonsensical rules.  Rules that prevent people that love each other from being treated as humanely and justly (as in, with equal rights and privileges) as everyone else ARE ASININE.  Now I don't mean you should be allowed to marry any little thing, but two consenting adults should be entitled as long as they are clearly in sound mind and intent.


Oh, right.  IF you like a man or woman, then it does not matter what's going on downstairs.  You either like men, women, both, or none at all.  It's that simple. TRANS MEN ARE MEN.  TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN.  Never think you are suddenly straight, bi or pan because you, a primarily gay male, thought a trans man was hot.  He's a MAN you IMBECILE!   (obviously this was bugging me a lot because some loser dared suggest they were anything but gay when they found a guy they were attracted to wasn't always a guy on the outside; it's what's inside that matters!  ugh, I hate shallow people, so, SO much!)


I'll share with you another sweet dream, next night.
(Vampire Knight 4 Lyfe; YUS!!!)