1). So yeah, I'm a wind type in the zodiac; but as my one friend points out to me, I tend to be a lot more earthy and/or even fiery in my general disposition. I was also born close to being a water type, so perhaps that is why I often feel this lingering attachment to them, yet, I also find them the most difficult to understand and the most driving of my patience. See, they tend to be quiet, reflective thinkers, and if you get them started on things they like, they can flow on about it like an ocean current (that explains my own tendency to babble). But coaxing it out of them is like trying to melt your car that has frozen into a snow bank with nothing but a cigarette lighter. I find it so irksome that they are so damn quiet and one of my friends (bless his soul) goes to the point to say he doesn't see the point in even making small talk when he has nothing to say because he finds it pointless. You... f-ing frigid bitch! Maybe, just maybe the ones that are trying to talk to you actually care about your opinions and well-being to actually see what you say, what you think, what you feel on things because they... love you, I know, crazy! How could anyone love someone they are so different from yet it's because of their differences that they appreciate anything and everything they have to say? I must be the most inane person in existence according to his personal beliefs! I don't care if he does perceive me that way either because I promised him I would always keep his best interests at heart. I don't care that he's chosen not to be with me, this is just the kind of person I am. We still talk, but arguments are bound to arise time and again. The fact that I take the time to talk to him, no matter how often we butt heads, shows the level of commitment and sturdiness I try to always give to people. I'm also incredibly patient and pretty much never hold grudges, though I can get heated up over some things as you've just witnessed, I believe that's simply a testament to the strength and depth of my emotions.
2). "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell just as sweet." - Juliet, Shakespeare
I don't rightly care what you call me, but if you're talking to me personally, even thru the 'net, I prefer to still be addressed. This gives the person you're talking to more affirmation that you're recognizing that your words are going to someone. It can also give them more power, when needed, but I find that I just want people to know, that I'm thinking of the real person, wherever they are, and not whatever identity they choose to carry on the net. And I think it's really cool when people can talk to each other that informally, because they feel at least some level of mutual trust would be present. In those rare cases, its proof that there still is some beauty to the world, when people can live in such ease. You may either use my blogger name, Awel, or simply my real first name, Ryan. It's fairly common, so I understand if you already know 50 other people with my name. As long as you can feel comfortable, that's all I could ask for; typing this out now, it too makes me feel more comfortable, myself.
3). I f-ing love video games, that much is certain. When it comes to pretty much any RPG or Fighting game, I can discuss it like nobody's business. You know, it sort of upsets me at times when other people say they're a fan of games and yet they never want to talk about it or I say to them, "hey bud, whatcha doing?" "ah, watching a game expo," ... and WHY didn't you think to ask me if I'd like to watch or even hear your opinions on it? Are you that forgetful or afraid I'll think you're weird or some crap!? People are so shy nowadays, THESE are the children of people who streaked in college? They have no nerve, no spark, people in my age-group are getting utterly boring and I have 38 more years until I turn 60! Oh well, my apologies to any of you people, though you're probably too shy to say anything about it anyway. I'm not exactly that energetic myself, but at least I have passions and I'm more than willing to express them if you're willing and/or wanting to listen and share. If you want people to notice you, you have to be just as willing to let them in and not so afraid of things that could confuse or frighten them. Long as you're not harming anyone, who gives a flying arse? So, I think I'll now talk about two video game characters I think fit parts of myself well, afterall, this is what I know best.
Sima Zhao
(son of one famed strategist, lovable slacker)
Some of you savvy gamers may be familiar with KOEI's popular Dynasty Warriors franchise. If not, then go become familiar with it, maggots! Haha, I kid. Zhao here was introduced in the 7th (6th for Asian purveyors) installment of the series, and he is Sima Yi's second son. Unlike his father and older brother (Sima Shi), Zhao is portrayed as being much more lackadaisical, although the Wei veteran general, Deng Ai, is quick to realize how similar his ability in battle compares to his father when Zhao assists the forces of Cao Shuang to safely retreat after falling to a Shu ambush and rather brutal assault that was organized by Ma Dai. Although he may not care so much for being compared to his father, it is clear that Zhao does still respect him, and even asks Shi as to why his father doesn't accompany them to potentially key battles for Wei at a time when they are the most powerful and as Shi points out, Sima Yi could seize the entire land if he wanted. It does turn out though that their father passes away and Shi falls from illness as well in time. Zhao expresses a strong displeasure for traitors, first towards Xiahou Ba who defects to Shu and then again to Zhuge Dan when he feels that the Sima clan and their supporters are not acting out of Wei's bests interests (ironically, Dan enlisted aid from Wu for this rebellion which riles Zhao's anger). Angry at both Dan and even possibly himself for holding back for so long, Zhao finally becomes the firm and assured leader that the people who would form the kingdom of Jin would loyally and happily follow. What resonates most within me that shows in Zhao is well, the overall "do-nothing" attitude he has for the fair portion of his kingdom's story in DW7. Likewise, I can have pretty strong expectations of people and if I let you in, you will receive no mercy if you truly betray me in a harmful way. I will be wounded if you dismiss most of what I feel are rather easy-to-meet expectations but only if you seek spite or ill-will against me and/or my family, then the teeth are bared and the claws come out. Otherwise, I'm pretty carefree and can talk about just nearly anything (aren't I doing so now? haha). On another note, my hair is just as wavy (sometimes moreso) than his own, hence I used some official artwork of his mug as my avatar on here, haha.
Yangus
(former bandit, guv's bodyguard, king of sexy bitches)
I rather like Yangus as a character. Personally, I don't like Dragon Quest VIII that much as a game. Oh well... you win some, you lose some. Forgive me if I don't hit every intrinsic detail on him, because its been over 2 years since I last seriously sat down and played his game. So Yangus was pretty much your ordinary street thug (with a thick, I want to say Scottish-English accent) until he met the Hero of the game, who rescued him at one point and he returned the favor, promising to watch over his friend who he refers to as his "guv" the whole game through. Yangus may look tough, but he really has some true feelings coursing through his frame, it's really something to see him cry when he's so overcome with happiness at one point, and he swings a pretty mean hammer, axe or scythe, depending on your specializations. What I share with Yangus is mostly exactly what I just mentioned about him. I, myself, am a pretty large and possibly tough-looking gent if you were to meet me on the street corner. But, if you knew me well enough, you might say you didn't know anyone, or few people nicer. I also tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve at times, if I'm happy it shows, if I'm sad or angry, it will show, too. However, I tend to have quick mood swings now and then, which is mostly the result of me trying to staunch the more negative feelings away; like many of you, I have my own demons I'd rather not talk about (though I can at least talk of them more easily nowadays). Hmm, and I suppose that, like Zhao, Yangus is just really, really good looking <3. Hehe.
So have I talked you to death on games yet? Haha, yeah; I'm not a heavy analyst, but its safe to say that I feel games are important to not just me, but to help people be able to deal better with their lives. Though we may want an escape, it is sometimes through characters like ourselves that we can really come to better terms with things the loony world has thrown at us and really start living again.
4). I love food. Love not only eating it but even just talking about it, lol. I do enjoy cooking when I can, but baking doesn't interest me nor am I very good at it. What would I even use it for? I only modestly like some cookies and cakes and that is it as far as confections go. I suppose if I have to get something "baked", like lasagna or ziti then I use Rachael Ray's "fake-bake" method. I learned how to prepare quick pasta dishes thanks to Giada and really, I would so block out 90% of most channels since all I watch is Food Network asides a few sitcoms here and there. Yeah, TV is okay but if its that or internet, I'd say the latter is more important to have, as much as I dislike all the hollaballu around technology nowadays, I prefer simpler, practical things, updating every few weeks/months is such a pointless waste of our time and resources in my humblest of opinions. I never use the radio, there's internet if I really desire music. I hope it only gets easier to use and continues to stay as is. Also, WTF with all these networking sites? What ever happened to email and simple forum usage? I prefer even snail mail over this crap which are mostly tickets for stalkers and more viruses/scams... but truly, no ill-will to people using them, I just think the concept is utter BS.
In terms of genres/specifics regarding to my appreciation of food, media and other past-times, here ya go:
(only mentioning things I like, of course)
food-pasta, citrus, pickles, peppers (but NOT green bell pepper), most seafood, broccoli, lettuce, peas, nuts, chicken and similar poultry
music-classical, techno, jazz, rock; lesser liked, but some varieties of pop and metal
books-realistic fiction, mystery
other hobbies-swimming, football(soccer), basketball, writing
Well, I do feel that's enough for now, more personal details can always be delved upon later. So I hope you've enjoyed your stay; maybe you read a little or even everything, remember to chill and be yourself; you're likely more fascinating than you think, even to complex warblers like moi. Be seeing you~.
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