And he's so mature when it comes down to it. He really wants to do better for himself (jobs, education, etc.) and I am so proud, as a friend can be, I suppose. He wants this, even if it means not having too much time to spend time with me and it's so nice to hear how focused he is on it. I can deal with that, in fact I did offer to just be one more reason for him to smile if he feels overwhelmed from all the possible stress of his goals. I think that's the best I can do for now. In the coming summer months I personally hope to make a few small advancements on such things for myself, as it were. Its hard being semi-dependent (I say "semi" because I could handle being on my own if it were entirely necessary, I'd just be a bit dependent on some support until I secure employment, but my mom wants to help me on that, its my own personal contract that when and if I move to TX, I will try my best to get a job ASAP in the area and the location my mother lives at is very ripe with opportunities over all, far better than these sticks.) still, for now I must mostly endure. And perhaps give a special friend due kindness and support, in turn, I feel my life can only get better from where it has been (stifled for a while).
I can probably at least secure a driver's license before I think of moving. And hopefully a temporary job, lol, it would be nice to have some money for once. That I earned on my own merits alone. Further education for me can wait, I'm quite knowledgeable already to secure a job I'd at least like (c'mon, video game retail! *blows dice*). I'm not very interested in driving... but I do have another reason at least to pursue the option, for my sake and his, of course. Better than just for me, let me tell you! xD By myself, I just withdraw and settle being an indoor person, but I don't hate going places... especially with company that makes me feel all fuzzy, lolol.
I'm glad... I think I really did meet someone who can care about me for my kindness... and most other weird aspects of my personality. It was really worth the effort to talk to him over two months before now and continues to be. ^^ My enthusiasm will probably fizzle out in the long run... but the happiness I feel right now is irreplaceable. Thank you... I hope I can just give some of this back to you, dear friend.
And this calls for music, I feel. Time for a pretty, if dramatic song... haha.
Translated Lyrics:
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
I cannot detach myself from you.
For countless times, I give up my progress and kill off my emotions.
With no place to go, my emotions are slowly awakening.
I understand very well that your unsullied smile
is an entity too cruelly distant from me.
Although my incurable wound keeps on gnawing away my heart,
even now I can't completely suppress my thoughts that dwell in the darkness.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
As I was walking in the abyss of loneliness, I was rescued
by a pair of real and never-changing eyes.
However, the brighter the light is,
the darker the shadow will be when it creeps up on me.
The two beating hearts are like a pair of mirrors facing each other;
their similar but different pains continue on endlessly.
Burning in a scarlet crimson red
and purging everything,
that unrivaled mirage is now in motion.
Transcending firmly
one transient night after another,
without a doubt, I cannot escape, even if I were to drown in my sins.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
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