'Kay, so I have a tumblr now. It's far less stuffy than this zone of long text. For anyone mildly interested or if you just need way less things to read, go here: if you dare. lol
If I need a serious vent, this shall always be reserved for such. Though I feel I've gotten better at managing my emotions through simple outlets like music, or taking my mind off it with pictures and video. I like to read way more than I enjoy writing anyway. Well, take care all of you.
SH2
Friday, April 3, 2015
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Old Habits Do Die Hard
I came to think a little about my past loves recently and realized that I've mostly been the same, when I'm in love. I've only dated three people (you could say three and a half as of last month but I don't quite count it since we have not once established a definite relationship) but each time... I've only been myself. The first two persons came to me in mutual interests, that is--we were friends first. And I'm not fully clear on my second relationship's beginnings, but the first was entirely the two of us realizing we wanted to go further. We were each other's first loves, despite being children. At age 11, we acted much like any other couple truly in love -- we spoke a lot with each other, laughed a lot, discovered things we never quite thought of before, we even had our own take on romantic excursions (which got me in so much trouble, haha, private school~). I suppose I take my feelings and others' so seriously because of this very strong, passionate start I had when it comes to matters of the heart. And I probably have a fondness for cute, simple things because one of my happiest memories is when my partner compared us to two magnetic kissing bear plushies they had received (from their parent, I believe, but its possible they bought them personally). The only true reason we separated was simply due to circumstance; at the end of that year, I was persuaded to leave that school due to personal issues affecting my ability to cope and function. Some of which, I'm happy to report, have mostly resolved as of late! But yeah... things could have been different, extensively so, if I never left.
But I did, and after some more odd circumstances culminating in my mother choosing to move to TX and me choosing to stay with my grandfather (since he seemed like the one who wanted me around the most out of my family over the previous 8 years of school life), I actually ended up in another relationship. This one began fairly similar, I think. I recall being friends before the fact and this one was more of a surprise when, I think, they asked me. I may have asked them though, after all, my past experience proved that friends could make fond lovers if both wanted it. And so I got to have a romantic kiss or two with a second person. I do recall liking it, but at the time, it couldn't shake the large weight that was bearing down on me. I think... part of me blames myself for my grandfather's health degradation and part of me feels my mother left me behind because she just didn't care enough about me, or that's how I used to feel, that much has (thankfully) improved. This relationship ended sooner than the last but we were able to remain at least amicable acquaintances after the fact, and that, I'm always happy to remember.
Relationship number 3... ahhhh.... I miss dis one a lot. Because the way it started was just me, looking for someone to talk to, and possibly to make a new friend. I had only gotten internet access at home about a year and a few months before randomly going on Quizilla (yeah, really) to take some quizzes in my spare time. And in doing so, I met this amazingly cute person. The funny thing is their skin (their face I recall most) was kinda funky, a few blemishes I suppose from acne perhaps but I did not once feel it detracted from their beauty. We spoke regularly for a few weeks, then formally asked if we'd like to date and both agreed. A few weeks after that, I met them on their 18th birthday, face to face, and had arguably the most amazing kiss I've ever experienced result from it. With that one kiss, I felt that this person cared for and truly wanted me, as they were (to my surprise) just ever so slightly assertive during it. Naturally, I liked it, they really knew I was there for them and let me know, "hey, I'm glad to have you, now take my tongue you big lug," hahaha (they were about 10 inches shorter than me, how adorable). You know, I should have followed this example and done so with the next person I had kissed... shhhh.... you heard nothing!
That relationship ended on some miscommunication but, going away, I don't think I did much wrong, I know I certainly intended no harm. I think I tend to reach out to people who make me think and really appreciate them as a friend before going all way. And I may run my mouth, but you know, a pure heart and a caring mind are behind it all. May the one who chooses me for their ever after, or even just until they've given me one honest try... may you know how much I want to love you, as your significant other, but still, as your friend, too.
Happiest wishes, readers. -R.B.
But I did, and after some more odd circumstances culminating in my mother choosing to move to TX and me choosing to stay with my grandfather (since he seemed like the one who wanted me around the most out of my family over the previous 8 years of school life), I actually ended up in another relationship. This one began fairly similar, I think. I recall being friends before the fact and this one was more of a surprise when, I think, they asked me. I may have asked them though, after all, my past experience proved that friends could make fond lovers if both wanted it. And so I got to have a romantic kiss or two with a second person. I do recall liking it, but at the time, it couldn't shake the large weight that was bearing down on me. I think... part of me blames myself for my grandfather's health degradation and part of me feels my mother left me behind because she just didn't care enough about me, or that's how I used to feel, that much has (thankfully) improved. This relationship ended sooner than the last but we were able to remain at least amicable acquaintances after the fact, and that, I'm always happy to remember.
Relationship number 3... ahhhh.... I miss dis one a lot. Because the way it started was just me, looking for someone to talk to, and possibly to make a new friend. I had only gotten internet access at home about a year and a few months before randomly going on Quizilla (yeah, really) to take some quizzes in my spare time. And in doing so, I met this amazingly cute person. The funny thing is their skin (their face I recall most) was kinda funky, a few blemishes I suppose from acne perhaps but I did not once feel it detracted from their beauty. We spoke regularly for a few weeks, then formally asked if we'd like to date and both agreed. A few weeks after that, I met them on their 18th birthday, face to face, and had arguably the most amazing kiss I've ever experienced result from it. With that one kiss, I felt that this person cared for and truly wanted me, as they were (to my surprise) just ever so slightly assertive during it. Naturally, I liked it, they really knew I was there for them and let me know, "hey, I'm glad to have you, now take my tongue you big lug," hahaha (they were about 10 inches shorter than me, how adorable). You know, I should have followed this example and done so with the next person I had kissed... shhhh.... you heard nothing!
That relationship ended on some miscommunication but, going away, I don't think I did much wrong, I know I certainly intended no harm. I think I tend to reach out to people who make me think and really appreciate them as a friend before going all way. And I may run my mouth, but you know, a pure heart and a caring mind are behind it all. May the one who chooses me for their ever after, or even just until they've given me one honest try... may you know how much I want to love you, as your significant other, but still, as your friend, too.
Happiest wishes, readers. -R.B.
Friday, March 20, 2015
The Hardest Thing to Do...
Is to keep smiling. To be positive so others don't feel more pain than they already have.
Each day, it's hard to keep smiling when...
-I'm given verbal grief and abuse due to my lack of money and my grandfather's stress over paying various expenses.
-I'm threatened to be isolated from my only source of stable socialization and open information (grandfather makes some empty, but no less harsh threat to stop paying for my internet).
-I feel lonely when no one is actively making an effort to talk to me.
-When trying to talk to anyone, I pray to high heaven that I'm not speaking at a bad time or saying the wrong thing.
-I don't really have a true family to speak of, not in the way I feel inside, and I just wish I had one, even if it might be with people to whom I'm not related. Family is just... the people that care about you without rhyme nor reason.
But I want to smile...
-to make it easier on the people I at least think I care about
-to stay receptive to positive and constructive feedback so I can keep improving
-to better realize that things aren't always as bad as they seem
-to accept change with better dignity
-because it may just encourage others to smile, too, and genuine smiles are beautiful
Yeah... I should just try to think of nice, beautiful things, that will help my mood, such as....
-kittens
-baby otters
-D____'s eyes
-his smile and a few other friend's smiles, too
-hyacinth in bloom
-loving, sickly sweet couples
-violin music
-singing songs to myself when I'm in a great mood
-singing songs for... someone I may just love
-when my mom seems happy and is actually around, making an effort to talk to me
-knowing I am worth smiling about
I'll be okay, yeah... I will. ^~^
Each day, it's hard to keep smiling when...
-I'm given verbal grief and abuse due to my lack of money and my grandfather's stress over paying various expenses.
-I'm threatened to be isolated from my only source of stable socialization and open information (grandfather makes some empty, but no less harsh threat to stop paying for my internet).
-I feel lonely when no one is actively making an effort to talk to me.
-When trying to talk to anyone, I pray to high heaven that I'm not speaking at a bad time or saying the wrong thing.
-I don't really have a true family to speak of, not in the way I feel inside, and I just wish I had one, even if it might be with people to whom I'm not related. Family is just... the people that care about you without rhyme nor reason.
But I want to smile...
-to make it easier on the people I at least think I care about
-to stay receptive to positive and constructive feedback so I can keep improving
-to better realize that things aren't always as bad as they seem
-to accept change with better dignity
-because it may just encourage others to smile, too, and genuine smiles are beautiful
Yeah... I should just try to think of nice, beautiful things, that will help my mood, such as....
-kittens
-baby otters
-D____'s eyes
-his smile and a few other friend's smiles, too
-hyacinth in bloom
-loving, sickly sweet couples
-violin music
-singing songs to myself when I'm in a great mood
-singing songs for... someone I may just love
-when my mom seems happy and is actually around, making an effort to talk to me
-knowing I am worth smiling about
I'll be okay, yeah... I will. ^~^
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Happy Tears
I shed some today. It's odd, it doesn't happen a lot even (for me to shed tears over sheer joy and relief) but it did this time. As I told a friend... the newest influence in my life is so kind, and really appears to care about me. After all my ranting and worrying... he still says he wants me to talk to him. Dis guy, dis guy!!!! (those are happy exclamations) I can live with his faults, very easily in fact, if this kindness, so rare and unexpected to find in this strange of a place as where I live and the surrounding towns... if it is his true self. Which it seems to be. And if he becomes accustomed to making eye contact with me as time goes on... dat's it, I'm committing to the guy then. Hahaha. ^w^
And he's so mature when it comes down to it. He really wants to do better for himself (jobs, education, etc.) and I am so proud, as a friend can be, I suppose. He wants this, even if it means not having too much time to spend time with me and it's so nice to hear how focused he is on it. I can deal with that, in fact I did offer to just be one more reason for him to smile if he feels overwhelmed from all the possible stress of his goals. I think that's the best I can do for now. In the coming summer months I personally hope to make a few small advancements on such things for myself, as it were. Its hard being semi-dependent (I say "semi" because I could handle being on my own if it were entirely necessary, I'd just be a bit dependent on some support until I secure employment, but my mom wants to help me on that, its my own personal contract that when and if I move to TX, I will try my best to get a job ASAP in the area and the location my mother lives at is very ripe with opportunities over all, far better than these sticks.) still, for now I must mostly endure. And perhaps give a special friend due kindness and support, in turn, I feel my life can only get better from where it has been (stifled for a while).
I can probably at least secure a driver's license before I think of moving. And hopefully a temporary job, lol, it would be nice to have some money for once. That I earned on my own merits alone. Further education for me can wait, I'm quite knowledgeable already to secure a job I'd at least like (c'mon, video game retail! *blows dice*). I'm not very interested in driving... but I do have another reason at least to pursue the option, for my sake and his, of course. Better than just for me, let me tell you! xD By myself, I just withdraw and settle being an indoor person, but I don't hate going places... especially with company that makes me feel all fuzzy, lolol.
I'm glad... I think I really did meet someone who can care about me for my kindness... and most other weird aspects of my personality. It was really worth the effort to talk to him over two months before now and continues to be. ^^ My enthusiasm will probably fizzle out in the long run... but the happiness I feel right now is irreplaceable. Thank you... I hope I can just give some of this back to you, dear friend.
And this calls for music, I feel. Time for a pretty, if dramatic song... haha.
Translated Lyrics:
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
I cannot detach myself from you.
For countless times, I give up my progress and kill off my emotions.
With no place to go, my emotions are slowly awakening.
I understand very well that your unsullied smile
is an entity too cruelly distant from me.
Although my incurable wound keeps on gnawing away my heart,
even now I can't completely suppress my thoughts that dwell in the darkness.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
As I was walking in the abyss of loneliness, I was rescued
by a pair of real and never-changing eyes.
However, the brighter the light is,
the darker the shadow will be when it creeps up on me.
The two beating hearts are like a pair of mirrors facing each other;
their similar but different pains continue on endlessly.
Burning in a scarlet crimson red
and purging everything,
that unrivaled mirage is now in motion.
Transcending firmly
one transient night after another,
without a doubt, I cannot escape, even if I were to drown in my sins.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
And he's so mature when it comes down to it. He really wants to do better for himself (jobs, education, etc.) and I am so proud, as a friend can be, I suppose. He wants this, even if it means not having too much time to spend time with me and it's so nice to hear how focused he is on it. I can deal with that, in fact I did offer to just be one more reason for him to smile if he feels overwhelmed from all the possible stress of his goals. I think that's the best I can do for now. In the coming summer months I personally hope to make a few small advancements on such things for myself, as it were. Its hard being semi-dependent (I say "semi" because I could handle being on my own if it were entirely necessary, I'd just be a bit dependent on some support until I secure employment, but my mom wants to help me on that, its my own personal contract that when and if I move to TX, I will try my best to get a job ASAP in the area and the location my mother lives at is very ripe with opportunities over all, far better than these sticks.) still, for now I must mostly endure. And perhaps give a special friend due kindness and support, in turn, I feel my life can only get better from where it has been (stifled for a while).
I can probably at least secure a driver's license before I think of moving. And hopefully a temporary job, lol, it would be nice to have some money for once. That I earned on my own merits alone. Further education for me can wait, I'm quite knowledgeable already to secure a job I'd at least like (c'mon, video game retail! *blows dice*). I'm not very interested in driving... but I do have another reason at least to pursue the option, for my sake and his, of course. Better than just for me, let me tell you! xD By myself, I just withdraw and settle being an indoor person, but I don't hate going places... especially with company that makes me feel all fuzzy, lolol.
I'm glad... I think I really did meet someone who can care about me for my kindness... and most other weird aspects of my personality. It was really worth the effort to talk to him over two months before now and continues to be. ^^ My enthusiasm will probably fizzle out in the long run... but the happiness I feel right now is irreplaceable. Thank you... I hope I can just give some of this back to you, dear friend.
And this calls for music, I feel. Time for a pretty, if dramatic song... haha.
Translated Lyrics:
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
I cannot detach myself from you.
For countless times, I give up my progress and kill off my emotions.
With no place to go, my emotions are slowly awakening.
I understand very well that your unsullied smile
is an entity too cruelly distant from me.
Although my incurable wound keeps on gnawing away my heart,
even now I can't completely suppress my thoughts that dwell in the darkness.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
As I was walking in the abyss of loneliness, I was rescued
by a pair of real and never-changing eyes.
However, the brighter the light is,
the darker the shadow will be when it creeps up on me.
The two beating hearts are like a pair of mirrors facing each other;
their similar but different pains continue on endlessly.
Burning in a scarlet crimson red
and purging everything,
that unrivaled mirage is now in motion.
Transcending firmly
one transient night after another,
without a doubt, I cannot escape, even if I were to drown in my sins.
I sway in the scarlet crimson red,
towards the end of my dream.
The destiny of our encounter begins to turn.
With this secret known to no one,
I keep falling deeper and deeper down.
With no doubt, I can no longer return to before, even if I atoned for my sins.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Lil' Update in the Big Woods
Classic reference be stylin'. (Yeah I like the Little House books, more than the tv show adaptation but maybe that's just due to my love of books?)
-So, I seem to attract attention from people I have little interest in and can barely hold the attention of people I long to just open up and spend hours with sharing my mind and heart with and its really irking me. Whatever. I think I have a stalker, idk, I just try to ignore them and they aren't aggressive, just persistent. They keep "admiring" me on this one site so I automatically "skip" the notice when I see them pop up. This has gone on for a few months now but I don't hate the guy, I just don't know what to do. Get myself off the market? I can't be bothered to confront them though, too much hassle.
-In much, much lighter news... I'm resuming work on my on-going, constantly revised and never released FE rom hack (probably of Blazing Sword, but if Sacred Stones support expands enough, I wouldn't hate to use that as the base). Its mostly the roster that changes as sometimes I want to change people around whether it be altering their class or using new friends as the inspiration behind some characters. That's also why I tend to come up with so many possible ideas for actual games, period. Regardless, the inspirations are mostly just subtle nods to personality quirks at best, appearance rarely matches well, sprite limitations aside, I don't associate with the most aesthetically pleasing of people all the time and hell, I think I'm usually bland as heck to look at. Still, the look I give to characters, no matter the circumstance, tends to match their inspiration's spirit and what they impart in me... so they all look great in my eyes regardless if they're tall, short, fat, thin, muscular or what have you.
-The friend whom kinda left, kinda didn't; kinda hurt me, but probably didn't mean much by it... well, we're talking a little. I'm feeling okay enough but... he's still a bit quiet and I only wish I knew what I should do to help. I hope my current choice to just be quieter, not as over-sharing and patiently wait for responses is the right thing. I really like seeing them around... his smile is just... warmer than the sun in Summer. And it doesn't even hurt like the latter half, haha. ^w^ Although my sleep schedule is pretty normal lately and I don't really "see" them much. I get that I'm not a top priority, lol, but can I be at least number 108 on the list of 1000 priorities? xD Just saying. : 3
I hope things continue to get better for me, him, well, everything in general. ^^
-So, I seem to attract attention from people I have little interest in and can barely hold the attention of people I long to just open up and spend hours with sharing my mind and heart with and its really irking me. Whatever. I think I have a stalker, idk, I just try to ignore them and they aren't aggressive, just persistent. They keep "admiring" me on this one site so I automatically "skip" the notice when I see them pop up. This has gone on for a few months now but I don't hate the guy, I just don't know what to do. Get myself off the market? I can't be bothered to confront them though, too much hassle.
-In much, much lighter news... I'm resuming work on my on-going, constantly revised and never released FE rom hack (probably of Blazing Sword, but if Sacred Stones support expands enough, I wouldn't hate to use that as the base). Its mostly the roster that changes as sometimes I want to change people around whether it be altering their class or using new friends as the inspiration behind some characters. That's also why I tend to come up with so many possible ideas for actual games, period. Regardless, the inspirations are mostly just subtle nods to personality quirks at best, appearance rarely matches well, sprite limitations aside, I don't associate with the most aesthetically pleasing of people all the time and hell, I think I'm usually bland as heck to look at. Still, the look I give to characters, no matter the circumstance, tends to match their inspiration's spirit and what they impart in me... so they all look great in my eyes regardless if they're tall, short, fat, thin, muscular or what have you.
-The friend whom kinda left, kinda didn't; kinda hurt me, but probably didn't mean much by it... well, we're talking a little. I'm feeling okay enough but... he's still a bit quiet and I only wish I knew what I should do to help. I hope my current choice to just be quieter, not as over-sharing and patiently wait for responses is the right thing. I really like seeing them around... his smile is just... warmer than the sun in Summer. And it doesn't even hurt like the latter half, haha. ^w^ Although my sleep schedule is pretty normal lately and I don't really "see" them much. I get that I'm not a top priority, lol, but can I be at least number 108 on the list of 1000 priorities? xD Just saying. : 3
I hope things continue to get better for me, him, well, everything in general. ^^
Sunday, March 8, 2015
While You're Away (and more music, whee~)
I'll keep trying, to be kind and loving to people, so when you come back... it'll be as though you never left.
What I felt when I could talk to you freely was mostly relief, freedom, mutual understanding and so I was happy.
I'm very sorry if I've caused you any stress as it was never my intention... I just wanted to be a friend, true and constant. Taking interest in your life and feelings and trying to bring you happiness, because I was happy, too.
All you ever need do is tell me when you need me to "shut the hell up," and I'll gladly clam it. To deny me of that basic respect feels... cold, alien, like I've done something wrong. Why is it so hard to just be honest with me? If you're afraid I'll think lesser of you... stop. I won't. All I've ever done is be kind. So return a little, you stubborn twit. (Hah, that's a harsh joke though. You are stubborn but... I like you. You are your own person and you don't listen to reason very well, for better or worse, lolol.)
Okay then! With all that mellow-drama aired out, I'd like to lighten the mood. For the rest of you fearless readers, here's some music to listen to if you'd care to. ^^
Demetori - The Capital City of Flowers in the Sky ~ Bridge of the Lotus (arrangement)
Queen of Rose (Blazblue Calamity Trigger/Continuum Shift OST - Rachel's theme)
Raid of Redemption / Azrael (Drakengand 3 OST - Three's theme)
Take care, everyone.
What I felt when I could talk to you freely was mostly relief, freedom, mutual understanding and so I was happy.
I'm very sorry if I've caused you any stress as it was never my intention... I just wanted to be a friend, true and constant. Taking interest in your life and feelings and trying to bring you happiness, because I was happy, too.
All you ever need do is tell me when you need me to "shut the hell up," and I'll gladly clam it. To deny me of that basic respect feels... cold, alien, like I've done something wrong. Why is it so hard to just be honest with me? If you're afraid I'll think lesser of you... stop. I won't. All I've ever done is be kind. So return a little, you stubborn twit. (Hah, that's a harsh joke though. You are stubborn but... I like you. You are your own person and you don't listen to reason very well, for better or worse, lolol.)
Okay then! With all that mellow-drama aired out, I'd like to lighten the mood. For the rest of you fearless readers, here's some music to listen to if you'd care to. ^^
Demetori - The Capital City of Flowers in the Sky ~ Bridge of the Lotus (arrangement)
Queen of Rose (Blazblue Calamity Trigger/Continuum Shift OST - Rachel's theme)
Raid of Redemption / Azrael (Drakengand 3 OST - Three's theme)
Take care, everyone.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Completely Hypothetical Ideas for a remake of FF VIII
So, if I were given an opportunity to remake this game (which is a great game in its own right, props to Square and the team that worked on it as you guys were the big reason I ever bought a Playstation and got into japanese-style role playing video games), it would be that... a near total remake from the ground up.
Mostly new/re-imagined game-play mechanics, an expanded (less confusing) story and a bit more character depth (in addition to fully playable Xu(!!) and possibly the Disciplinary Committee (less exciting for me, I am biased though). One big idea I thought of was what to do with the Draw system. Whilst I am fine with keeping GFs (Guardian Forces) mostly as they are (with major retooling of their skill system), I think drawing "magic" from enemies is dumb and way, Way too exploitable. In addition, the classic system essentially makes casting magic nearly useless in battle (though that is also due to most foes having an inflated Spirit stat as their levels climb) so I think it really has to be done away with for the sake of player sanity and overall game challenge (a game needn't be balls-hard, but it should still put up a real test at times, in my opinion).
So, my idea is to remove "Draw" (and Draw Points by association). And (in theory) do the the following...
1). Characters will automatically learn traditional spells (in tune with FF series lore) as they level up, creating a pseudo job-system of character roles between them, further reinforced by their limit breaks.
2). Instead of accruing AP, defeating (and only by defeating) enemies will earn the player "elemental essences" which can be stored and redeemed (using GFs as the intermediary) for various passive bonuses and perks. (such as "No Encounters")
3). The elements gained are based on the enemy type and strength. Enemies will no longer scale in level with the player (and player characters grow in a more standard fashion with other PS2/3-era games) so it is not advisable to waste time "grinding" off weaker enemies just to get more abilities sooner, game progression is encouraged.
4). Only up to 3 GFs can be equipped per character and GFs no longer have "health" (so players are at minor risk when summoning one in battle) but will be ever more helpful. As the GF's level increases, they will automatically grant passive bonuses to the equipped character (beyond what the character can equip once enough points have been tallied).
As you can see.... that's a pretty big change. But I feel it offers a good deal of freedom still and encourages much experimentation which the whole draw/junction system of yore also did. There's way, way more things that can be given new life in this game, but for now, I'm content even just imagining how it would play just with the above in effect.... not bad, eh? ^w^
Mostly new/re-imagined game-play mechanics, an expanded (less confusing) story and a bit more character depth (in addition to fully playable Xu(!!) and possibly the Disciplinary Committee (less exciting for me, I am biased though). One big idea I thought of was what to do with the Draw system. Whilst I am fine with keeping GFs (Guardian Forces) mostly as they are (with major retooling of their skill system), I think drawing "magic" from enemies is dumb and way, Way too exploitable. In addition, the classic system essentially makes casting magic nearly useless in battle (though that is also due to most foes having an inflated Spirit stat as their levels climb) so I think it really has to be done away with for the sake of player sanity and overall game challenge (a game needn't be balls-hard, but it should still put up a real test at times, in my opinion).
So, my idea is to remove "Draw" (and Draw Points by association). And (in theory) do the the following...
1). Characters will automatically learn traditional spells (in tune with FF series lore) as they level up, creating a pseudo job-system of character roles between them, further reinforced by their limit breaks.
2). Instead of accruing AP, defeating (and only by defeating) enemies will earn the player "elemental essences" which can be stored and redeemed (using GFs as the intermediary) for various passive bonuses and perks. (such as "No Encounters")
3). The elements gained are based on the enemy type and strength. Enemies will no longer scale in level with the player (and player characters grow in a more standard fashion with other PS2/3-era games) so it is not advisable to waste time "grinding" off weaker enemies just to get more abilities sooner, game progression is encouraged.
4). Only up to 3 GFs can be equipped per character and GFs no longer have "health" (so players are at minor risk when summoning one in battle) but will be ever more helpful. As the GF's level increases, they will automatically grant passive bonuses to the equipped character (beyond what the character can equip once enough points have been tallied).
As you can see.... that's a pretty big change. But I feel it offers a good deal of freedom still and encourages much experimentation which the whole draw/junction system of yore also did. There's way, way more things that can be given new life in this game, but for now, I'm content even just imagining how it would play just with the above in effect.... not bad, eh? ^w^
Friday, March 6, 2015
Mindful Rabble
Hah, sounds like a magazine column title. Anyway, I was thinking... about a lot of things but mostly...
Why am I a "snake"? I get zodiacs are mostly just a waste of time but my temperament is so unlike that of a snake that it seems odd.
I'm way more like a dog. At times I refer to myself as one in jest but it is remarkably accurate. Even though I'm a homebody, I'm always ecstatic to see people (but can be overwhelmed around large groups). Openly affectionate if permitted, and very warm around family and familiar people. I warm much quicker to strangers than many others do. I'm very easily moved by others' plights and emotions. I'm protective and far more shy than I appear or seem when around people I like. I rarely pick fights and I always come "home" if away too long (that is, I always check in on my friends whom I usually feel "at home" with). I almost instinctively want to instigate cuddling if someone I know appears sad. Hah, and a funny fact is that I usually do pick meat bones damn dry (like if eating chicken or something). xD
But I understand that dogs aren't for everyone. They can be loud or annoying when they come around when you'd rather they not. Still... I think the "dog" sort of person doesn't want to push your buttons... they really just care about you a lot, so if you're stressed or ignoring them, the dog will instinctively come to you. The dog misses you when you're away, even if its not for very long, because everyday feels like a holiday when you're there. Wild dogs instinctively travel in groups so really... a person with a dog's spirit is always happy when they can be with another person, no matter what. Even if they get distracted along the way, the dog will always find its way back to you if it loves you and has felt love given back at least once.
My inner tenacity is definitely on par with that... I feel kind of better, thinking it over. But I think anyone would be happy if compared to "man's best friend", lol. Although, emotionally I guess I am a little, snake-like. Eh, everyone's different. Whatever. ^^
Why am I a "snake"? I get zodiacs are mostly just a waste of time but my temperament is so unlike that of a snake that it seems odd.
I'm way more like a dog. At times I refer to myself as one in jest but it is remarkably accurate. Even though I'm a homebody, I'm always ecstatic to see people (but can be overwhelmed around large groups). Openly affectionate if permitted, and very warm around family and familiar people. I warm much quicker to strangers than many others do. I'm very easily moved by others' plights and emotions. I'm protective and far more shy than I appear or seem when around people I like. I rarely pick fights and I always come "home" if away too long (that is, I always check in on my friends whom I usually feel "at home" with). I almost instinctively want to instigate cuddling if someone I know appears sad. Hah, and a funny fact is that I usually do pick meat bones damn dry (like if eating chicken or something). xD
But I understand that dogs aren't for everyone. They can be loud or annoying when they come around when you'd rather they not. Still... I think the "dog" sort of person doesn't want to push your buttons... they really just care about you a lot, so if you're stressed or ignoring them, the dog will instinctively come to you. The dog misses you when you're away, even if its not for very long, because everyday feels like a holiday when you're there. Wild dogs instinctively travel in groups so really... a person with a dog's spirit is always happy when they can be with another person, no matter what. Even if they get distracted along the way, the dog will always find its way back to you if it loves you and has felt love given back at least once.
My inner tenacity is definitely on par with that... I feel kind of better, thinking it over. But I think anyone would be happy if compared to "man's best friend", lol. Although, emotionally I guess I am a little, snake-like. Eh, everyone's different. Whatever. ^^
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Since I want to talk a little
*tries to think of something to start with*
Talk about the crazy dream you had earlier? -nope, too weird; cute, but whoa-ho, no... even if it was just trippy hand-holding and cuddling all things considered
Show the poem you wrote randomly and don't mention the context? -nope, too heavy, poetry is too personal
Talk about games you've been playing or are hyped for? -sure, why not? can't hurt I guess
Tales of Xillia 2 is pretty good, y'know? Although... I don't really get why Muzet is around. I know the first game enough to know her story but its just... eh? Kinda feels like the slot could have gone to someone else if you ask me. But, game's still fun anyway. Too bad there's no bow users or it'd be better, lol. Not sure how I feel about this franchise lately. Zestiria looks a little bland to me but I'll probably get a localized copy when it comes. I'm most looking forward to Persona 5 though I'm not fond of having another mascot character in the playable roster and I don't really like the "cat burglar" attires the characters get. I hope we can change their outfits around later for battles because most of them are "ehhhh" to me. (Ryuji's isn't too bad, I guess.) Sank a lot of time into Drakengard 3. Ahh... so lovely. Though I admit the game will not be for everyone. But the writing is great, the story is interesting and the characters are so-so but work well off each other so its a fun time all through. The English cast clearly put in work and I love the voiceovers so much. And the music... killer. Downsides are the repetitive gameplay and the graphics aren't that stable throughout but still very nice overall. And the true final boss is major dickery but hey, nothing is perfect. Humans made it, lol.
You know I think I'm slowly becoming less and less hyped for most games though lately. Of course it could just be a dour mood getting to me, but maybe I'm just looking forward to other things. Not "what" to play but "who" else is interested in it and who I can share the joy of entertainment with. I like games still but this is an unusual feeling. Maybe... I'd rather be around actual people now instead of losing myself in stories? Kinda funky, can't lie. Haha.
Talk about the crazy dream you had earlier? -nope, too weird; cute, but whoa-ho, no... even if it was just trippy hand-holding and cuddling all things considered
Show the poem you wrote randomly and don't mention the context? -nope, too heavy, poetry is too personal
Talk about games you've been playing or are hyped for? -sure, why not? can't hurt I guess
Tales of Xillia 2 is pretty good, y'know? Although... I don't really get why Muzet is around. I know the first game enough to know her story but its just... eh? Kinda feels like the slot could have gone to someone else if you ask me. But, game's still fun anyway. Too bad there's no bow users or it'd be better, lol. Not sure how I feel about this franchise lately. Zestiria looks a little bland to me but I'll probably get a localized copy when it comes. I'm most looking forward to Persona 5 though I'm not fond of having another mascot character in the playable roster and I don't really like the "cat burglar" attires the characters get. I hope we can change their outfits around later for battles because most of them are "ehhhh" to me. (Ryuji's isn't too bad, I guess.) Sank a lot of time into Drakengard 3. Ahh... so lovely. Though I admit the game will not be for everyone. But the writing is great, the story is interesting and the characters are so-so but work well off each other so its a fun time all through. The English cast clearly put in work and I love the voiceovers so much. And the music... killer. Downsides are the repetitive gameplay and the graphics aren't that stable throughout but still very nice overall. And the true final boss is major dickery but hey, nothing is perfect. Humans made it, lol.
You know I think I'm slowly becoming less and less hyped for most games though lately. Of course it could just be a dour mood getting to me, but maybe I'm just looking forward to other things. Not "what" to play but "who" else is interested in it and who I can share the joy of entertainment with. I like games still but this is an unusual feeling. Maybe... I'd rather be around actual people now instead of losing myself in stories? Kinda funky, can't lie. Haha.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Serious Questions
What I most sincerely want to ask of anyone who smokes (no matter how severely) is... why?
Why smoke at all? Why keep doing it? Is it because you enjoy the fumes of burnt things? Do you also enjoy burnt foods? I'm truly curious to know.
Why smoke when you can do other things? Why smoke if you could just, idk, eat some nice potato chips or hell, any cheap food you can grab that will ultimately affect your health much less drastically? Why smoke if you can just... talk to someone who will listen, if you're feeling alone or sad?
If you are physically unable to talk, can you read? Can you type or communicate in some manner? Do you have the patience to accept the concerns of people who do not share your vice but genuinely want you to... Not Die?
Because... I don't want people to die. Not people who never really hurt anyone but just have one single shortcoming that constantly affects your brain, heart and lungs. If you smoke because you have stopped caring about whether your live or not... you are, my apologies, an incredibly idiotic, selfish person.
You do not have to feel such pain alone. Even if you have a horrible life, it does Not make you the culprit behind all your problems and does Not excuse you for wanting to end it. Take this from a very lonely, awkward person... you're not worthless. Your life has meaning from the moment you are born. Why? Because every time you talk to, smile at, or just hold the door once for anyone else... you've improved the quality of that person's life. That's why your parents, or whoever, supported you. Your happiness reflects upon them. You are their reward. And you are the reward of every person you treat with respect and kindness. You are showing them that they've done something good.
So please... please consider before the next time you choose to reach for that relief in the form of stuff you inhale or whatever you do. Please... why do you want to undo all those smiles by hurting yourself? Do yo truly want to deprive yourself of more smiles evermore by crippling your ability to live? Make everyone's feelings and your own happiness go to waste?
These things make me truly sad. To think people are so torn up that they can't rationally consider these undeniable dilemmas. I do not desire this for anyone. If I could have only one wish... it might be to save these people. I don't like that people must hurt to such a horrific degree. Life is not without pain but... to give you less pain, is what I strive for, my friends. My family. And the ones I've adored. Hugs for you all. ^w^
Why smoke at all? Why keep doing it? Is it because you enjoy the fumes of burnt things? Do you also enjoy burnt foods? I'm truly curious to know.
Why smoke when you can do other things? Why smoke if you could just, idk, eat some nice potato chips or hell, any cheap food you can grab that will ultimately affect your health much less drastically? Why smoke if you can just... talk to someone who will listen, if you're feeling alone or sad?
If you are physically unable to talk, can you read? Can you type or communicate in some manner? Do you have the patience to accept the concerns of people who do not share your vice but genuinely want you to... Not Die?
Because... I don't want people to die. Not people who never really hurt anyone but just have one single shortcoming that constantly affects your brain, heart and lungs. If you smoke because you have stopped caring about whether your live or not... you are, my apologies, an incredibly idiotic, selfish person.
You do not have to feel such pain alone. Even if you have a horrible life, it does Not make you the culprit behind all your problems and does Not excuse you for wanting to end it. Take this from a very lonely, awkward person... you're not worthless. Your life has meaning from the moment you are born. Why? Because every time you talk to, smile at, or just hold the door once for anyone else... you've improved the quality of that person's life. That's why your parents, or whoever, supported you. Your happiness reflects upon them. You are their reward. And you are the reward of every person you treat with respect and kindness. You are showing them that they've done something good.
So please... please consider before the next time you choose to reach for that relief in the form of stuff you inhale or whatever you do. Please... why do you want to undo all those smiles by hurting yourself? Do yo truly want to deprive yourself of more smiles evermore by crippling your ability to live? Make everyone's feelings and your own happiness go to waste?
These things make me truly sad. To think people are so torn up that they can't rationally consider these undeniable dilemmas. I do not desire this for anyone. If I could have only one wish... it might be to save these people. I don't like that people must hurt to such a horrific degree. Life is not without pain but... to give you less pain, is what I strive for, my friends. My family. And the ones I've adored. Hugs for you all. ^w^
Some general statements I agree with
I need a real mood stabilizer right now. I spoke to a friend explaining my circumstances, though summarized it very tightly (left out how hurt I am feeling) and then they started to put their own self down. So I pointed out the simple things they have going for them and stated, "I wasted my time... but I think I would have mostly done the same," regarding the big punch to the gullet I received today. My friend felt better and agreed with me that what's important is to just keep trying to make better choices and things will balance out. I hope so, I truly do.
Anyway, I started to read some general statements pertaining to my star sign, and many I do agree with in regards to, "yeah, I see this in me," and wanted to share some, so...
-statement (my thoughts go here)
[Gemini]
-likes to cook for the one they adore (and how!)
-is a protector of those they love
-isn't one to plan most things; they like to wing it (this can annoy people, lol, but yeah)
-can get jealous but prefers to be indifferent (I think? I would say jealousy won't happen unless I'm not over lingering feelings and stuff)
-has a lot of heart and shows it readily to friends (maybe too much? x.x I wish I could restrain it s'more)
-puts it all on the line for the right person (so true, even if you're not "right", if I care, its a force of habit)
-loves to hold hands more than they're willing to admit (I do! I think hands can be the third prettiest feature of a person, usually after eyes and lips, hah ^^)
-doesn't often splurge on gifts... the true gift from Gemini is time spent together (eat that, you punk-ass bitch! I may have been a blabbermouth but you have hard evidence of the time I spent thinking of you and wanting to share my feelings and stuff all the time... it mattered to me ;_;)
-needs an energetic someone to keep them moving (I do, motivation is a huge lacking facet of mine, its hard without a push, for me)
-has a naughty thought from time to time... but seldom acts on it (I wonder if gemini's tend to stay virgins longer than others? might just be me though, lol)
-is a dreamer with the dream of a perfect relationship (well nobody IS perfect but I just want to make one relationship work eventually, I really do)
-gets silly around that special someone (I'm sorry for talking so much, I didn't know it bothered you so much, if it did... I just, was so happy with your friendship)
-when depressed, is a non-stop eating machine (gods, yes, but lately its reversed, I can barely eat at all, I just want to sleep : |)
-can be a pain in the ass when they're bored (shit, now you tell me... I just hoped my thoughts could at least show that I was more happy than bored and annoying x.x no wonder my mom ignored me as a kid (hah... not funny, sorry))
-gives others the opportunity to make up for past mistakes (yeah! in case... you do change your mind or its just a big mood whiplash, I don't want to be mad at you : |)
-harbors no ill will long-term, although resentment may linger (I resent how I'm being treated most... I still want to be his friend, if nothing else)
-gets easily excited when things are looking up (well my blog can attest to that! I wish... it would extend to others though : |)
-gives you time to explain your side before making a judgement ('tis why the silent treatment is pure torture x.x)
-backs you up even when you don't think you don't need it (just a good point of mine, I think ^^)
-gets worried that loved ones will leave them after a while (... yeah : |)
-is sometimes afraid of change, but will take the chance (maybe this is why I try to reach even people who do stuff I can't stand; its tough, but just want my loved ones to be happy)
-is not a worry wart, but will worry if the subject warrants it (hint, hint!)
-is more likely to give others the benefit of the doubt than other signs would (pains of being "the nice guy" I suppose)
-is most likely to speak up to defend others in their time of need (I will... I know I'm upset and all, but no one is allowed to make you cry, no one, not even me... even though I can't stop from crying over people, darnit x.x)
-has no problem with telling you exactly what issues they have with you (eyup... but I don't try to pick too much, I'd rather focus on the good, there's good in everyone!)
-takes both compliments and insults to heart (explains why I can even cry still... though currently I'm too sick to do so, stupid bowels...)
-isn't always honest, but tries to be as much as possible (sure do!)
-enjoys spending time with family and friends just hanging about (haha, yep, I'm lazy :p)
-likes to forget the past and move forward with a clean slate (honestly in a few weeks if this mood of yours persists, I just want to start over; I do want to be in your life and have you in mine but boy, are you fussy! xD)
-finds that love is worth all the effort and arguing (... I like to hope so, can't say I know for sure x.x)
-believes small gestures are very meaningful in themselves (they are : ) you... were mostly kind towards me, lol, sorry I keep referring to "you" bleh, need a reprogramming of my harddrive, haha)
-has had a hard life enduring the harsh personalities of others (I suppose my grandfather is a culprit here x.x and some people I've tried to talk to, as well)
Well, that's more than enough... I feel a smidge better from venting out these thoughts. Hope I can sleep some, now. Until next time...
Anyway, I started to read some general statements pertaining to my star sign, and many I do agree with in regards to, "yeah, I see this in me," and wanted to share some, so...
-statement (my thoughts go here)
[Gemini]
-likes to cook for the one they adore (and how!)
-is a protector of those they love
-isn't one to plan most things; they like to wing it (this can annoy people, lol, but yeah)
-can get jealous but prefers to be indifferent (I think? I would say jealousy won't happen unless I'm not over lingering feelings and stuff)
-has a lot of heart and shows it readily to friends (maybe too much? x.x I wish I could restrain it s'more)
-puts it all on the line for the right person (so true, even if you're not "right", if I care, its a force of habit)
-loves to hold hands more than they're willing to admit (I do! I think hands can be the third prettiest feature of a person, usually after eyes and lips, hah ^^)
-doesn't often splurge on gifts... the true gift from Gemini is time spent together (eat that, you punk-ass bitch! I may have been a blabbermouth but you have hard evidence of the time I spent thinking of you and wanting to share my feelings and stuff all the time... it mattered to me ;_;)
-needs an energetic someone to keep them moving (I do, motivation is a huge lacking facet of mine, its hard without a push, for me)
-has a naughty thought from time to time... but seldom acts on it (I wonder if gemini's tend to stay virgins longer than others? might just be me though, lol)
-is a dreamer with the dream of a perfect relationship (well nobody IS perfect but I just want to make one relationship work eventually, I really do)
-gets silly around that special someone (I'm sorry for talking so much, I didn't know it bothered you so much, if it did... I just, was so happy with your friendship)
-when depressed, is a non-stop eating machine (gods, yes, but lately its reversed, I can barely eat at all, I just want to sleep : |)
-can be a pain in the ass when they're bored (shit, now you tell me... I just hoped my thoughts could at least show that I was more happy than bored and annoying x.x no wonder my mom ignored me as a kid (hah... not funny, sorry))
-gives others the opportunity to make up for past mistakes (yeah! in case... you do change your mind or its just a big mood whiplash, I don't want to be mad at you : |)
-harbors no ill will long-term, although resentment may linger (I resent how I'm being treated most... I still want to be his friend, if nothing else)
-gets easily excited when things are looking up (well my blog can attest to that! I wish... it would extend to others though : |)
-gives you time to explain your side before making a judgement ('tis why the silent treatment is pure torture x.x)
-backs you up even when you don't think you don't need it (just a good point of mine, I think ^^)
-gets worried that loved ones will leave them after a while (... yeah : |)
-is sometimes afraid of change, but will take the chance (maybe this is why I try to reach even people who do stuff I can't stand; its tough, but just want my loved ones to be happy)
-is not a worry wart, but will worry if the subject warrants it (hint, hint!)
-is more likely to give others the benefit of the doubt than other signs would (pains of being "the nice guy" I suppose)
-is most likely to speak up to defend others in their time of need (I will... I know I'm upset and all, but no one is allowed to make you cry, no one, not even me... even though I can't stop from crying over people, darnit x.x)
-has no problem with telling you exactly what issues they have with you (eyup... but I don't try to pick too much, I'd rather focus on the good, there's good in everyone!)
-takes both compliments and insults to heart (explains why I can even cry still... though currently I'm too sick to do so, stupid bowels...)
-isn't always honest, but tries to be as much as possible (sure do!)
-enjoys spending time with family and friends just hanging about (haha, yep, I'm lazy :p)
-likes to forget the past and move forward with a clean slate (honestly in a few weeks if this mood of yours persists, I just want to start over; I do want to be in your life and have you in mine but boy, are you fussy! xD)
-finds that love is worth all the effort and arguing (... I like to hope so, can't say I know for sure x.x)
-believes small gestures are very meaningful in themselves (they are : ) you... were mostly kind towards me, lol, sorry I keep referring to "you" bleh, need a reprogramming of my harddrive, haha)
-has had a hard life enduring the harsh personalities of others (I suppose my grandfather is a culprit here x.x and some people I've tried to talk to, as well)
Well, that's more than enough... I feel a smidge better from venting out these thoughts. Hope I can sleep some, now. Until next time...
Monday, March 2, 2015
So tired...
Ugh, recovering from being sick and then I get the true silent treatment thrown at me from... someone I thought wanted to be my friend. I just wanted to be supportive and kind. Shows how much good that does me though. x.x When I think I'm showing interest and genuine sentiments towards others, just get doors slammed in my face. Why can't I get someone to love me for who I am, awkward over-attentiveness and everything!? Doesn't have to even be romantic. Even platonic love 'tween a friend would be nice. I am so terrible at finishing anything... guess it really is my own fault I can't forge a complete friendship either. I'm so sorry for burdening you. (to whom it may concern)
Guess I'll take a nap again. This is what I get for trying to be nice to people when I'm tired. I say things, what I think aren't bad things, and end up more alone than ever. Blast. : |
Hope you readers are having better times. Later.
Guess I'll take a nap again. This is what I get for trying to be nice to people when I'm tired. I say things, what I think aren't bad things, and end up more alone than ever. Blast. : |
Hope you readers are having better times. Later.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Sidetrack - Addendum
Thinking it over... I'm not entirely opposed to myself receiving, I think. I go through this every time I seriously consider the physical intimacy aspect of a relationship. I just don't like rough housing or feeling pain, so its hard to let go of my fears. The fear of being thought of as insignificant, if that even exists. I think it is why I try to be so gentle and affectionate with people, even if at times I come off as over-attentive. I can control my baser desires, because... I care enough. I think that's the best way I can explain my feelings. I still do plenty of stuff you'd expect from a single guy. Well, except the no social life, no partying, lol. Maybe I'm just a bore. I wouldn't mind a little party now and then. I have this dream of one day seeing most of my closest internet friends all at once at like a holiday party. ^w^ Because I care for them, we've spent so much time talking with each other and stuff, and the good ones still respond to me. : 3 That's probably why going days without a reply from someone really rattles me. I don't like to be forgotten. : / I hope that I leave a nice impression so people can at least remember me, if only that I talk a bunch and was kind, hah. ^^
Game character concepts (2015, Hester)
I quite like this lady a lot, gotta say. She really speaks to me, like, while *I* would like to hug Georgia and praise her for her level of resolve, Hester is just someone I'd like to be around and listen to, even if it results to her gushing over her love and stories she's picked up on the job. Haha.
Hester
"An intrepid journalist looking to build a tell-all article on the talk of the town, Mayor Tae Kyung-Joon. Her boundless work ethic is unrivaled... assuming her intense passion for her own lover doesn't impair her focus."
Gender: ♀
Age: 28
Ethnicity: White (Scandinavian)
Occupation: Photo-Journalist
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 134 lbs
Build: Statuesque
Hair Color: Blond
Eye Color: Gray
Skin Color: Light
Loves: to learn, discussion, shamelessly teasing Andre
Hates: lack of feed-back, "trolling", working late
Favorite Food: Veggie Burgers
Weapon of Choice: Hookshot, Flash Bomb, Pepper Spray... her travel bag
Back-story and Personality:
Hester was raised in a small, rural community nestled between several mountains. Physical exertion never being her forte, she threw herself into her studies and did quite well academically. She was always a sweet and friendly sort of girl, not experiencing much strife save for not being "rich" by any means. She learned, from the aid of books, to listen very carefully to people and easily understands even the most clumsy speaker around. Lack of experience in busier locales, however, does not deter her spirit. Whatever she takes on, she embraces and coddles like a fragile, thousand-year-old artifact. During college, she met a very sweet and relaxed man called Andre, whose simple charm and fascination in her boundless energy caused her to soar... until she could come to rest, tenderly within his arms. Because of her tendency to work with remarkable verve, her diet occasionally suffers, but she can barely contain her enthusiasm if Andre offers to cook something. Perhaps her own simple needs are what keeps him around, as Hester rarely asks for much at all. Well... unless it involves... pleasuring her lover. A boundlessly kind and giving soul... pure and simple... how unique it is.
Hester
"An intrepid journalist looking to build a tell-all article on the talk of the town, Mayor Tae Kyung-Joon. Her boundless work ethic is unrivaled... assuming her intense passion for her own lover doesn't impair her focus."
Gender: ♀
Age: 28
Ethnicity: White (Scandinavian)
Occupation: Photo-Journalist
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 134 lbs
Build: Statuesque
Hair Color: Blond
Eye Color: Gray
Skin Color: Light
Loves: to learn, discussion, shamelessly teasing Andre
Hates: lack of feed-back, "trolling", working late
Favorite Food: Veggie Burgers
Weapon of Choice: Hookshot, Flash Bomb, Pepper Spray... her travel bag
Back-story and Personality:
Hester was raised in a small, rural community nestled between several mountains. Physical exertion never being her forte, she threw herself into her studies and did quite well academically. She was always a sweet and friendly sort of girl, not experiencing much strife save for not being "rich" by any means. She learned, from the aid of books, to listen very carefully to people and easily understands even the most clumsy speaker around. Lack of experience in busier locales, however, does not deter her spirit. Whatever she takes on, she embraces and coddles like a fragile, thousand-year-old artifact. During college, she met a very sweet and relaxed man called Andre, whose simple charm and fascination in her boundless energy caused her to soar... until she could come to rest, tenderly within his arms. Because of her tendency to work with remarkable verve, her diet occasionally suffers, but she can barely contain her enthusiasm if Andre offers to cook something. Perhaps her own simple needs are what keeps him around, as Hester rarely asks for much at all. Well... unless it involves... pleasuring her lover. A boundlessly kind and giving soul... pure and simple... how unique it is.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Game character concepts (2015, Georgia)
This may be the character I like most of the first three. Although I do like all my characters, so that isn't a huge statement but I'm quite happy with my intents for this one.
Georgia
"The Mayor's spirit; a composed, mature young woman who rarely expresses negative emotions openly. Her serenity can be attributed to the healthy, wholehearted upbringing provided by her two mothers."
Gender: ♀
Age: 26
Ethnicity: Japanese
Occupation: Mobile Psychotherapist
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 127 lbs
Build: Average
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Skin Color: Intermediate
Loves: mother, "Mama P", her career choice
Hates: aggression, shut-ins
Favorite Food: Tokyo-style Ramen
Weapon of Choice: Katana
Back-story and Personality:
Georgia (born as "Juuri" at first), is very calm and driven. What drives her to help others can only be explained by explain her origins and early life. Her mother, Yukina, was born and living in Japan until time came for her to pursue further education beyond high school. Some time into college, Yukina was tragically beset upon by thugs and lost her innocence to them, later learning she now carried a child, no less. While attempting to cope with this, she met and made a new friend among a foreign woman, Patrice, whom was studying abroad at the time. Yukina was drawn to Patrice's down-to-earth and direct personality, who easily grew to care for Yukina in her troubled time. Juuri was cared for by her grandparents at first, though they of course wanted their daughter to marry a fine local man or two to ensure Juuri and Yukina's future. When Yukina approached them with her developing affection to Patrice, they were quite shocked, though not appalled since Patrice was not discourteous nor did Yukina seem unhappy. Knowing of the social stigma that would likely be imposed if they remained in Japan, Patrice offered to allow Yukina and Juuri to stay with her family back home in Georgia, of the USA. Hesitantly, the grandparents agreed and a few of their worries gradually faded as the years passed and they received films and letters of their granddaughter's caring home life (now named Georgia in tribute to Yukina's love). Georgia met Kyung when she was 7 years old, as he lived in the area at the time. They were only school acquaintances at first but grew closer and briefly "dated" when their ages reached the double digits. Shortly thereafter, Kyung had to move away and Georgia felt her first real spark of anger and caused a bit of trouble. When she was settling down and breaking into her time of physical maturity, her mother shared the story of how she and "Mama P" came together and why one should never give up if bad things happen. Resolved from this, Georgia selflessly tries to be positive, to give her mother less sadness than what she was forced to bear in years past. When she entered college, she fatefully reunited with Kyung, and it was Georgia whom convinced him to pursue a relationship with Damien. After all, her mother was usually happy and Patrice was always kind and constant in her life, so Georgia held no harshness if two people of the same gender seem to be close. It also happens that Georgia frequently receives plenty of male attention, much to her own chagrin as she'd rather help others be happy than worry about her personal life or lack thereof. Coming to understand others can be its own reward, and thus, she continues onward...
Georgia
"The Mayor's spirit; a composed, mature young woman who rarely expresses negative emotions openly. Her serenity can be attributed to the healthy, wholehearted upbringing provided by her two mothers."
Gender: ♀
Age: 26
Ethnicity: Japanese
Occupation: Mobile Psychotherapist
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 127 lbs
Build: Average
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Skin Color: Intermediate
Loves: mother, "Mama P", her career choice
Hates: aggression, shut-ins
Favorite Food: Tokyo-style Ramen
Weapon of Choice: Katana
Back-story and Personality:
Georgia (born as "Juuri" at first), is very calm and driven. What drives her to help others can only be explained by explain her origins and early life. Her mother, Yukina, was born and living in Japan until time came for her to pursue further education beyond high school. Some time into college, Yukina was tragically beset upon by thugs and lost her innocence to them, later learning she now carried a child, no less. While attempting to cope with this, she met and made a new friend among a foreign woman, Patrice, whom was studying abroad at the time. Yukina was drawn to Patrice's down-to-earth and direct personality, who easily grew to care for Yukina in her troubled time. Juuri was cared for by her grandparents at first, though they of course wanted their daughter to marry a fine local man or two to ensure Juuri and Yukina's future. When Yukina approached them with her developing affection to Patrice, they were quite shocked, though not appalled since Patrice was not discourteous nor did Yukina seem unhappy. Knowing of the social stigma that would likely be imposed if they remained in Japan, Patrice offered to allow Yukina and Juuri to stay with her family back home in Georgia, of the USA. Hesitantly, the grandparents agreed and a few of their worries gradually faded as the years passed and they received films and letters of their granddaughter's caring home life (now named Georgia in tribute to Yukina's love). Georgia met Kyung when she was 7 years old, as he lived in the area at the time. They were only school acquaintances at first but grew closer and briefly "dated" when their ages reached the double digits. Shortly thereafter, Kyung had to move away and Georgia felt her first real spark of anger and caused a bit of trouble. When she was settling down and breaking into her time of physical maturity, her mother shared the story of how she and "Mama P" came together and why one should never give up if bad things happen. Resolved from this, Georgia selflessly tries to be positive, to give her mother less sadness than what she was forced to bear in years past. When she entered college, she fatefully reunited with Kyung, and it was Georgia whom convinced him to pursue a relationship with Damien. After all, her mother was usually happy and Patrice was always kind and constant in her life, so Georgia held no harshness if two people of the same gender seem to be close. It also happens that Georgia frequently receives plenty of male attention, much to her own chagrin as she'd rather help others be happy than worry about her personal life or lack thereof. Coming to understand others can be its own reward, and thus, she continues onward...
Game character concepts (2015, Damien)
(So if anyone wonders why I'm putting the year in the titles for this group of posts... its because I make a TON of random ideas in my free time. Thus, its more so that I can remember when, approximately, I first came up with the stuff.)
Damien
"The Mayor's heart, whose bright, fun nature keeps his partner in positive standing, especially with the youth demographic. Tends to be quite selective and harsh with words but is as equally kind, if not more-so, deep down."
Gender: ♂
Age: 24
Ethnicity: White/Unknown (some concentration of Lebanese and African roots are apparent)
Occupation: Comedian
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 186 lbs
Build: Full & Soft
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Hazel
Skin Color: Light
Loves: his boyfriend, singing, making others laugh
Hates: being alone, his impulses
Favorite Food: Pomegranate Tea or his boyfriend's cooking
Weapon of Choice: Rifle (semi-automatic)
Back-story and Personality:
Although he can be a very selfish person, you would hardly know it from the way Damien carries himself. Always around people and rarely without a posse of groupies or general acquaintances, with a big, dopey grin on his face. Still, in the present, he has much to smile about. In the past... quite less. It's rather foggy, perhaps from overdosing on narcotics for a time, but what is clear is that Damien moved around a lot in his childhood, enough so that it was pretty difficult to make lasting friends at all. Despite full awareness of the consequences, he began exhibiting reckless choices when his age reached the teens. Perhaps that is part of why he wandered onto a suicide page on the internet and peered through a forum that seemed even-split between prevention and acceptance (promotion wasn't encouraged but it was a rather sketchy place to visit all the same). At first, meeting the future mayor was a chance for Damien to simply joke around and pick up the shmuck's broken state, mending it through humor. But later, after his first attempts at a local relationship fell to ruin, it was Damien who forgot how to laugh. Still, his new friend was ever-vigilant and devoted much time to him, despite being some miles away (Damien resided in northern California at this time). This odd level of understanding eventually got Damien to laugh again and drove him to consider a career in entertaining people. When Kyung, almost surprisingly, came out and offered his devotion, Damien accepted. Though at times he is prone to wonder as to why someone so nice can possibly love someone like his self, Damien does feel more confidence in knowing that he is cared for. A foul-mouthed, simple looking "loser" like him with a model of masculinity, kindness and warmth?? How funny! But... even if it's not forever... Damien is happy that Kyung is with him...
Damien
"The Mayor's heart, whose bright, fun nature keeps his partner in positive standing, especially with the youth demographic. Tends to be quite selective and harsh with words but is as equally kind, if not more-so, deep down."
Gender: ♂
Age: 24
Ethnicity: White/Unknown (some concentration of Lebanese and African roots are apparent)
Occupation: Comedian
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 186 lbs
Build: Full & Soft
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Hazel
Skin Color: Light
Loves: his boyfriend, singing, making others laugh
Hates: being alone, his impulses
Favorite Food: Pomegranate Tea or his boyfriend's cooking
Weapon of Choice: Rifle (semi-automatic)
Back-story and Personality:
Although he can be a very selfish person, you would hardly know it from the way Damien carries himself. Always around people and rarely without a posse of groupies or general acquaintances, with a big, dopey grin on his face. Still, in the present, he has much to smile about. In the past... quite less. It's rather foggy, perhaps from overdosing on narcotics for a time, but what is clear is that Damien moved around a lot in his childhood, enough so that it was pretty difficult to make lasting friends at all. Despite full awareness of the consequences, he began exhibiting reckless choices when his age reached the teens. Perhaps that is part of why he wandered onto a suicide page on the internet and peered through a forum that seemed even-split between prevention and acceptance (promotion wasn't encouraged but it was a rather sketchy place to visit all the same). At first, meeting the future mayor was a chance for Damien to simply joke around and pick up the shmuck's broken state, mending it through humor. But later, after his first attempts at a local relationship fell to ruin, it was Damien who forgot how to laugh. Still, his new friend was ever-vigilant and devoted much time to him, despite being some miles away (Damien resided in northern California at this time). This odd level of understanding eventually got Damien to laugh again and drove him to consider a career in entertaining people. When Kyung, almost surprisingly, came out and offered his devotion, Damien accepted. Though at times he is prone to wonder as to why someone so nice can possibly love someone like his self, Damien does feel more confidence in knowing that he is cared for. A foul-mouthed, simple looking "loser" like him with a model of masculinity, kindness and warmth?? How funny! But... even if it's not forever... Damien is happy that Kyung is with him...
Just a little sidetrack...
I'll admit, I keep occasionally going back to semeuke (dot) com to take this really ridiculous personality quiz. They even changed the questions to make it even more... flaming, lol. So eh, my usual result is..
I don't think I'm that manipulative but its so true. x.x The full profile for this... "stereotype" of gay people like me goes on to say...
"Mischievous, loyal, and intelligent, the Chibi Seme always seems to have a quiet energy whispering around them, suggesting that there is much more to them then what there first appears to be. Laid-back, and not one to call a lot of attention to themselves, they tend to guard their creative, forceful, (and somewhat manipulative) inner self behind an easygoing and playful exterior shell, which makes it impossible for most to truly know them. It takes a special Uke personality to see into the Chibi Seme's deep hidden self and release their sensual side, but once the Chibi Seme has let in that one special person, they will be forever loyal, loving, and protective.
A Chibi Seme will never be completely happy with just the ordinary. Setting themselves somewhat apart from the rest of the world, they need someone like-minded to keep them challenged intellectually and spiritually - a partner to inspire their dark naughty adventures and give them the motivation to take control."
So for those not in the know, the seme is the giving partner (in most instances) and the uke is the receiving (in that way, ya). Well its no shock to me what my preferred role is. I'm just surprised to remain static. Though, with the old quiz I sometimes got this or "opportunist seme" at times. None of them are outright negative though some are pretty tightly "defined" and makes me wonder who seriously behaves in such a way. I'm not sure what... this guy I really like a heck of a lot would end up as. He'd say, "well it depends on my mood." But I'll admit, it truly surprised me when he said, "well if you see me, there'd be tension," it's like... is... that... a vague admission that you kinda want me? Anyway, I'm really derailing my thoughts again. I'm told this is normal behavior for people with Asperger's but it sure can be annoying. : / He can be flaming a bit, which I like. Idk, I think he's just so adorbs and I really want to see him again. Oh well, a guy can hope, right? I will see him again but my hope is towards... maybe finding something more. Not that I can't be in just a friendship but its weird, even for me. Why can't I resist these overly affectionate feelings? Doesn't help that the universe almost seems to be pushing me into him, either, lawl. Well ah, good night, readers.
"You are a Chibi Seme
You are the seme in
disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are
able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your
dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others
about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it
takes the flamboyant Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your
aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are."I don't think I'm that manipulative but its so true. x.x The full profile for this... "stereotype" of gay people like me goes on to say...
"Mischievous, loyal, and intelligent, the Chibi Seme always seems to have a quiet energy whispering around them, suggesting that there is much more to them then what there first appears to be. Laid-back, and not one to call a lot of attention to themselves, they tend to guard their creative, forceful, (and somewhat manipulative) inner self behind an easygoing and playful exterior shell, which makes it impossible for most to truly know them. It takes a special Uke personality to see into the Chibi Seme's deep hidden self and release their sensual side, but once the Chibi Seme has let in that one special person, they will be forever loyal, loving, and protective.
A Chibi Seme will never be completely happy with just the ordinary. Setting themselves somewhat apart from the rest of the world, they need someone like-minded to keep them challenged intellectually and spiritually - a partner to inspire their dark naughty adventures and give them the motivation to take control."
So for those not in the know, the seme is the giving partner (in most instances) and the uke is the receiving (in that way, ya). Well its no shock to me what my preferred role is. I'm just surprised to remain static. Though, with the old quiz I sometimes got this or "opportunist seme" at times. None of them are outright negative though some are pretty tightly "defined" and makes me wonder who seriously behaves in such a way. I'm not sure what... this guy I really like a heck of a lot would end up as. He'd say, "well it depends on my mood." But I'll admit, it truly surprised me when he said, "well if you see me, there'd be tension," it's like... is... that... a vague admission that you kinda want me? Anyway, I'm really derailing my thoughts again. I'm told this is normal behavior for people with Asperger's but it sure can be annoying. : / He can be flaming a bit, which I like. Idk, I think he's just so adorbs and I really want to see him again. Oh well, a guy can hope, right? I will see him again but my hope is towards... maybe finding something more. Not that I can't be in just a friendship but its weird, even for me. Why can't I resist these overly affectionate feelings? Doesn't help that the universe almost seems to be pushing me into him, either, lawl. Well ah, good night, readers.
Game character concepts (2015, "the mayor")
About two (or was it three?) days after thinking him up, I have a name for this guy... (and it starts with my favorite letter, haha.)
Kyung-joon
"A kind, newly elected Mayor of ____(leaning to someplace, probably made up, in Oregon, USA) whom bears a strong sense of justice. Freely places his own life in danger for the sake of his causes, delegating the mundane duties to his cabinet officials."
Gender: ♂
Age: 28
Ethnicity: Korean-Irish
Occupation: Mayor
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 165 lbs
Build: Muscular
Hair Color: Dark Auburn
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Skin Color: Intermediate
Loves: his boyfriend, family (in concept), swimming
Hates: killing, self-destructive behavior, excess noise
Favorite Food: Tacos
Weapon of Choice: Meteor Hammer
Back-story and Personality:
Kyung's mother was a war refugee and became with child shortly before her emigration to America, falling in love with a soldier of Irish descent. The father died bravely in the ongoing war and his love would pass on stories of him to her son, from what relatives of the deceased would relay to her (although they were never married, the father's relations residing in America took a liking to their would-be in-laws). At age 12, tragedy would strike and claim Kyung's mother's life to sudden illness, causing him to move in with a cousin of his father's elsewhere, as his mother's family only existed in Korea and had no means to contact him. This man was strange and made Kyung very uncomfortable, committing some atrocious acts with Kyung unable to disobey, or else become homeless. Those actions nearly drove Kyung to end his life then, at age 17, if not for one most fateful encounter on a suicide-themed forum with a person whom he felt an especially magnetic attachment to, much quicker than most people he's connected with beforehand (barring a childhood friend he knew before moving in with his father's cousin). After a few more years, with the backing of his friend who fatefully wandered back into his life as well, he began a courtship with this young boy, and quickly pushed his recent abusive years far back into the dark corners of his brain. Though they tend to argue at times, they rarely stay mad at one another and are a stable, positive influence in each other's lives. Although Kyung is especially professional and eloquent in public, he adapts his partner's shyness and sharper tongue if stressed or overwhelmed. He longs to one day start a family, a proper, loving family... perhaps with... well, all in due time...
Well, one down. ^_^ Hope... whoever reads this may like it perhaps, lol.
Kyung-joon
"A kind, newly elected Mayor of ____(leaning to someplace, probably made up, in Oregon, USA) whom bears a strong sense of justice. Freely places his own life in danger for the sake of his causes, delegating the mundane duties to his cabinet officials."
Gender: ♂
Age: 28
Ethnicity: Korean-Irish
Occupation: Mayor
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 165 lbs
Build: Muscular
Hair Color: Dark Auburn
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Skin Color: Intermediate
Loves: his boyfriend, family (in concept), swimming
Hates: killing, self-destructive behavior, excess noise
Favorite Food: Tacos
Weapon of Choice: Meteor Hammer
Back-story and Personality:
Kyung's mother was a war refugee and became with child shortly before her emigration to America, falling in love with a soldier of Irish descent. The father died bravely in the ongoing war and his love would pass on stories of him to her son, from what relatives of the deceased would relay to her (although they were never married, the father's relations residing in America took a liking to their would-be in-laws). At age 12, tragedy would strike and claim Kyung's mother's life to sudden illness, causing him to move in with a cousin of his father's elsewhere, as his mother's family only existed in Korea and had no means to contact him. This man was strange and made Kyung very uncomfortable, committing some atrocious acts with Kyung unable to disobey, or else become homeless. Those actions nearly drove Kyung to end his life then, at age 17, if not for one most fateful encounter on a suicide-themed forum with a person whom he felt an especially magnetic attachment to, much quicker than most people he's connected with beforehand (barring a childhood friend he knew before moving in with his father's cousin). After a few more years, with the backing of his friend who fatefully wandered back into his life as well, he began a courtship with this young boy, and quickly pushed his recent abusive years far back into the dark corners of his brain. Though they tend to argue at times, they rarely stay mad at one another and are a stable, positive influence in each other's lives. Although Kyung is especially professional and eloquent in public, he adapts his partner's shyness and sharper tongue if stressed or overwhelmed. He longs to one day start a family, a proper, loving family... perhaps with... well, all in due time...
Well, one down. ^_^ Hope... whoever reads this may like it perhaps, lol.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Game Character concepts (2015, intro)
Every now and then I dig deep and just pull out some pretty intriguing fictional characters from the ether. I do oft dream of one day working on a video game (most likely an RPG, my favorite genre) to present such characters in. Although programming is a hindrance in the way of that, and funding for obvious reasons, I do enjoy writing characters nontheless. So here's some random stuff I've done recently...
The general premise for this game's plot is to follow a young, freshly elected political figure (a mayor, to be precise) and experience his life as it plays out, now in such a position and forced to overcome past demons and impending strife while not neglecting his true duty to the people he truly cares about and vows to serve. The major characters intended to be "playable" at this point in time boil down to....
The Mayor, age 28 (male)
his Heart, age 24 (male)
his Spirit, age 26 (female)
an intrepid photo-journalist, age 28 (female)
her pillar, age 30 (male)
A loyal concillor, age 57 (male)
some woman, age to be determined
a synthetic humanoid (no physical gender)
This work of fiction takes place on a parallel Earth, with a modern setting (in terms of locale) and actual place names, but has some light fantasy elements presented, anyway... Onto the completed character profiles at this point. (going to make separate posts for each since these get Long).
The general premise for this game's plot is to follow a young, freshly elected political figure (a mayor, to be precise) and experience his life as it plays out, now in such a position and forced to overcome past demons and impending strife while not neglecting his true duty to the people he truly cares about and vows to serve. The major characters intended to be "playable" at this point in time boil down to....
The Mayor, age 28 (male)
his Heart, age 24 (male)
his Spirit, age 26 (female)
an intrepid photo-journalist, age 28 (female)
her pillar, age 30 (male)
A loyal concillor, age 57 (male)
some woman, age to be determined
a synthetic humanoid (no physical gender)
This work of fiction takes place on a parallel Earth, with a modern setting (in terms of locale) and actual place names, but has some light fantasy elements presented, anyway... Onto the completed character profiles at this point. (going to make separate posts for each since these get Long).
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